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Quotes: Everything Trying to Kill You
"Oh my god, here comes a shark and it's gonna kill you
Oh my god, look out for the jellyfish, they're gonna kill you
Oh my god, the rocks a-falling, they're gonna kill you
Hey look out, you're almost out of oxygen, it's gonna kill you
Oh my god, I can't believe that that could kill you
Oh my god, I can't touch a bubble, that'll kill you"
That Chick with the Goggles, singing about Ecco: Tides of Time

"People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time
You paid attention, you'd be worried too
You better pay attention or this world you love so much
Might just kill you"
Monk theme song

A door left open,
A woman walking by,
A drop in the water,
A look in the eye,

A phone on the table,
A man on your side,
Someone that you think that you can trust
Is just another way to die.

"Out there beyond that fence, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes."
Col. Miles Quaritch, Avatar

"He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers."
Angel of the LORD to Hagar about Ishmael, The Bible, Genesis 16:12 (New International Version)

"An animated globule of molten lava, OUT TO DESTROY YOU FOR SOME REASON. Truly, EVERYTHING is out to get you. That's what you get for being a protagonist!"
Lava Blob description, MARDEK Chapter III

Gordon: I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me? I'm awesome! Are you all jealous!?
—- Freeman's Mind, when Gordon tries to figure out why the army is trying to kill him.

Yugi: It's as though nature itself is just randomly trying to kill us!
Tristan: M. Night Shyamalan was right!

"The floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it."
- GlaDOS, Portal

"R.I.P Player, killed by elementary physics"
- One of many NetHack death messages.

Abner: She used to be run by a dwarf named Kurtz, but he was killed by some bad clams.
Krosp: Clams?
Abner: Yes, they had axes.

Othar Tryggvassen: Ha! It'll take more than being tied to a lit keg of explosives and tossed into a pit of acid filled with mutant, acid-resistant flying piranhas equipped with flame throwers and battle-axes while mechanical, missile-launching morris dancers armed with liquid nitrogen harpoon guns are overhead, riding giant, rabid killer bees with side mounted death rays to kill Othar Tryggvassen!
Ferretina: Whoops! Silly me, I forgot to turn the lightning generators on!
Othar: Er, not a whole lot more, I'll admit...
- Turning the above Up to Eleven, Girl Genius

Zola "Heterodyne": Avoid any floorstone marked in white. It is a trap that will kill you. Do not stand under any part of the ceiling marked in white. It is a trap that will kill you. Duck under any opening taller than one meter. It is a trap that will kill you. Do not touch any metal surface. It is a trap that will kill you.
Mook 1: Are you trying to frighten us?
Zola: Yes! This place is dangerous, twisted, and worst of all—
Mook 2: Hey, a gold piece! Aaaaaaaa.....
Zola: It likes to think it has a sense of humor.
- Girl Genius — inside the Castle Heterodyne

"Even when the battlefield gives us every advantage, it is still part of the universe. And this universe, never forget, despises us."

"All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and when they catch you, they will kill you... but first they must catch you."

"Holy shit! What a dream I was having! Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me!"

"Superior, Ariz., is the original town without pity. During the course of his brief stay there, Bobby will be kicked in the ribs several dozen times, almost be bitten by a tarantula, shot at, and have his car all but destroyed—and that's all before the final scenes with the vultures circling overhead. Bobby comes across almost like a character in a computer game; you wipe him out, he falls down, stars spin around his head, and then he jumps up again, ready for action."
Roger Ebert on Film/U-Turn

"In Nintendo you control a little man who runs around the screen trying to stay alive while numerous powerful and inexplicably hostile forces try to kill him. It's a lot like New York."

"When I was a kid we played games where we had one life and every bird, insect and blade of grass was trying to murder you."

"This girl falls over everything. Cracks in the cement! Tiny tufts of grass in the sidewalk! Sand particles. —OOHH, she made it over the chalk on the floor. Gotta be honest: Didn't expect her to clear that one."
Jontron plays California Games

"So you're walking through Hill Valley, and every single thing you can imagine is out to kill you. Bullies, hula-hoop girl, killer bees, and guys holding glass windows? (Just like in the movie.) ...And what the fuck is Marty doing when he gets killed? It looks like he's having some kind of a seizure! I mean, I guess I'd have a seizure too if there were bees and hoola-hoop girls coming at me! I mean, just leave me alone. I'm trying to collect clocks!"

"There's an old joke of famous last words in Dungeons & Dragons. The first two items on the list are 'I open the door' and 'I don't open the door.' The joke being that death comes without any real warning or ability to prevent it in D&D. D&D, as a historical phenomenon, evolved in tandem with adventure games, so the comparison is apt.... I don't think there's a single adventure game I played with my mother without a save file called 'We who are about to die' — a save file to be utilized whenever you are about to enter an area of such obvious danger that the odds of your not doing something that randomly kills you are basically zero. Somehow, improbably, we mistook this for fun."

"I've begun to find a dark humor in the absolute overkill I face. This is simply ridiculous."
The Monster Log on the Colossus, Risk Of Rain

"Let's worry about more important matters, like why does the fire department want you dead?"
- Mike Fireball in his article about The Simpsons arcade game

Scott: Look out for that truck. It'll kill you.
Missy: Okay.
Scott: Look out for that dog. It'll kill you.
Missy: Is there anything in this game that can't kill you?
Scott: Not that I've found. Look out for that shrub.

Because if D&D has taught me anything, it has taught me that my laundry is just waiting to stab me in the face whenever I let my guard down.

"Survival rule 502: Every hunk of rock is trying to kill you."

"Dream Valley is constantly out to kill you. It's like Australia, Sunnydale and Ravenloft met at an orgy, and spawned this abberation, then woke up in the morning and freaked out when they realized Care-A-Lot and Disneyland had also participated."

"This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If the game master wants to kill you, you're dead."

"Between the deserts, the natural disasters, and all the venomous things that will kill you by accident, Australia is like Earth’s hard mode."

"Platforms aren't supposed to kill you! Platforms are your friend, Colordreams! Platforms are supposed to help you move from point A to point B! They're not supposed to hurt you! Oh, no!"
stanburdman, on the subject of the game Robodemons.

"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid."

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