Quotes / Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon

"I will cut you with my hammer. And Hammers don't usually cut, so try to imagine how much of a long and painful process this will be. ...And it's made of wood, so you'll probably get splinters."
King Dedede, Smash Kingdom: Melee

Wolf throws his head back and gives a great howl of rage, promising strange and unusual revenges.
Sven Hassel's The Bloody Road to Death

YOU! You will regret what you have done this day! I will make you regret ever being born! You're going to regret you ever left you mother's womb, where it was warm, and safe, and wet! I'm going to show you pain you never knew existed, you're going to see a whole new specturm of pain! Like a RAINBOW! But! THIS rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, it's-
Scrotus, Korgoth of Barbaria

Pam, if a single one of these has left this building, I will personally sew you into a canvas bag full of rats and throw that bag into the river.
Sterling Archer, "The Figgis Agency''

"Shut your pie hole, Blip! Why, twenty years ago I woulda put your head in a half nelson, twisted it around, saying each letter of the alphabet on every turn, and then when I reached the first letter of my true love's name — that would be the lovely Elizabeth — I would yank your head clean off and roll it down the pike like a bowling ball!"

"You...are...NOT...getting...out...of...here...this...time. You understand that? You UNDERSTAND that?! I'm going to f**king KILL you! I'm going to rip out your intestines and while you're still alive because it takes hours to die that way I'll shove them up your mouth and laugh as you choke on your own s**t, and I'll carve my name into your corpse!"

"I will kill you 18 different ways with this paperclip!"

"Now you take good care of my precious little babies, they mean the world to me. If I come back here and find one feather out of place on their little heads, I'M GONNA EAT YOU WITH THIS CEREAL SPOON!"

"I will drown you in barbecue sauce and have Chris eat your body!"
Dan, Dan Vs., "The Mechanic"

"I'll tie your lips behind your head and you'll never kiss again!"
Kootie Pie, The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, "The Beauty of Kootie"

"Yes! Now get it out of me before I kill the both of you, and turn your hides into my own personal pajamas!"
The Mistress, Extended Stay Chapter 13

"I'm going to find this 'Nathan Johnson'. And when I find him, I'm going to rip his fucking heart out! Then, I'm going to eat it, and poop it out, then turn it into coffee. So I can drink it. And finally get some fucking coffee."
Commissar Steve, A Day in the Life of a Commissar.

"I may actually stop at the patent office... because I'm about to invent a whole new kind of pain for you, Lelouch!"

"...One more word out of you and I swear I will grind off every one of those teeth with an iron file."
Firo Prochainezo, Baccano! 1935B - Dr. Feelgreed

"That didn't just happen and none of you remember anything. Or I will scoop out your brains and make a pie, understood?"

''"I am a zombie, and I will malice you with a shoehorn!"

Thug: Is there a name for the private little world you live in? What happens there when we don't just run away? You'll kill us with a soup cup?
Riddick: Tea, actually.
Thug: What's that?
Riddick: (holding it up) I'll kill you with my teacup.

Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's dull, you twit. It'll hurt more.

"I ought to press you into jerk cider!"

"YOU SEE THIS BURNING, BLOODY UNIVERSE? YOU SEE THIS ULTIMATE, UNLIMITED POWER? Varik. I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOUR SHIT. you little fuckers are going to have your bodies ripped in half. i'll shove your asses so far down your throats that when you crap you'll sing fucking beethoven. tl;dr: eat shit, faggots."
Dr. Andonuts, The Halloween Hack

Leon: It's not technically a crime to scam a scammer!
Nigerian gangster: But it is a crime to cut out a man's intestines. And make him wear them as a hat.
Person of Interest, "All In"

Tassiter: What's going on up there, John? The readings we've—
Jack: SHUT THE HELL UP, TASSITER! SHUT. THE HELL. UP! My ex-girlfriend and her two BFFs just tried to kill me, and the LAST thing I need right now is your senile ass WHINING IN MY EAR! If I get ONE more message from you that isn't, "Attaboy Jack", or, "I'm sending you a big bag of money", I'm gonna reach through my ECHO and GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH MY PINKIES! ARE WE CLEAR?!
Tassiter: I... Goodbye, John.

If... If I were to make a word-for-word translation of my master's outburst, your bowels would boil and the walls would bleed. Instead, let me just say that Inbeda would be happy to string every member of the Jingu Clan on a single length of barbed wire - in the mouth and out the anus - to form a crude human centipede which he would use as a mount. The samurai and the Oni... they do not get along.
The Mask of Kan'Ami, translating for Inbeda of the House-In-Exile, The Secret World