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Need a Hand, or a Handjob?
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We were going to call this one "Solicitation Mistaken For Help", but this is snappier.
Basically, when a given character needs help (a place to stay, whatever), is approached by a prostitute who speaks with perhaps too much metaphor, and thinks her solicitation is an offer for assistance.
See also Platonic Prostitution and Accidental Innuendo.
Examples
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Films — Live-Action
Jokes
- There's old joke where a clergyman encounters a prostitute, she says "I'll do anything you can describe in 3 words for $50". He thinks about it for a while, and then says "Paint my house."
- In one of his books, critic Joe Queenan's response to a (hypothetical) request of this nature was "do my taxes."
- An engineering student approaches his friends at lunch one day riding up on a beautiful new bicycle. "Wow," says one of his friends, "where'd you get that bike?" The engineering student says, "Strangest thing. On my way back from class this morning, a gorgeous woman rode up on a bike, got off it, took off all her clothes and threw them on the ground, and told me, 'Take whatever you want!'" His friend nods sagely. "Good choice. Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Literature
- Discworld: Happens to men who approach the Guild of Seamstresses to have their socks darned.
- In Guards! Guards!, a naive Carrot ends up living in a house of "seamstresses" due to this sort of misunderstanding. He mentions that his first night there one of the girls asked if he wanted anything, but they had no apples, so he said no.
- Variant: In Feet of Clay, one character mentions that she was good at sewing, so she tried to join the Guild of Seamstresses.
- Similarly, in Night Watch, there is an actual seamstress who is often confused for the other type.
- In Reaper Man, Windle Poons, a newly resurrected zombie, is asked by a "seamstress" if he's looking for a good time. He's somewhat addled by the fact that he can see and hear clearly for the first time in decades, and accepts her offer without thinking about it. She runs away when she gets a good look at him, though.
- In Interesting Times, Rincewind is approached by several beautiful, scantily-clad women who explicitly say that all of their men have died out and they need his help repopulating their island. However, due to years of living alone on a desert island, Rincewind's mind has deteriorated somewhat and he thinks they're offering to make him some mashed potatoes.
- This happens in Don Quixote.
Live-Action TV
Video Games
Web Comics
- Get Medieval: Asher, lost in medieval Avignon, has a girl come to him and offer him "a warm bed to spend the night in". Being a clueless nerd, he considers it an invitation to sleep at her place. The trope is subverted at a later stage, as when they meet again in different circumstances, she does offer her help.
- In RPG World, this is how Diane ends up joining the party.
- This page
 of Rob and Elliot is a magnificent aversion.
Web Original
- Played with in Episode 3 of Manwhores when a woman pulls up to Kevin, newly starting out his career:
Kevin: "You...uh, looking for a jump?"
Woman: "Depends on what kind you mean."
Kevin: "The, uh, sexual kind of course—unless, uh your car's actually broken. My car's right over there"
Woman: "What I need, I can't get from jumper cables."
Kevin: "Well I happen to not have any."
Woman: "Get in."
Western Animation
- The Simpsons: Subverted in the episode "The Cartridge Family". When Marge takes Bart, Lisa and Maggie to a motel because Homer is acting Trigger Happy, Bart is asked by a prostitute "are you looking for a good time?" He is (as always), but not in the manner she means, and Marge pulls him away before any Hilarity can Ensue.
- The pilot episode of The Venture Bros. has a prostitute asking Hank and Dean if they're looking for some action. Being rather sheltered boy adventurers, they reply that they're always looking for action! And adventure!
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