Naughty Under the Table

The naughty cousin of Footsie Under the Table, this trope features a character touched/groped/grabbed under a table or some other kind of cover. Traditionally, this is at a dinner table, but it doesn't have to be. Anyone else present doesn't know what's happening, but will probably react with confusion to the unusual expression/behavior of the victim. Differs from Footsie Under the Table in that, though a foot can be used to instigate, the target is not the victim's foot. It's the thigh. Or an even... more intimate target. Of course, Footsie Under The Table can lead to Naughty Under The Table.

The victim of the squeezing/groping, by reason of modesty, disinterest in the instigator, or simply an attachment to normal rules of propriety, will NOT desire this (at least, "not NOW")... or at the very least, would not want the other people to know what's happening.

Comes in two basic varieties: The PG-version will probably be a quick grab (probably the thigh) that causes the victim to jump up and/or react vocally, or kick the instigator. The R-version will continue longer, possibly all the way to orgasm.

If the "victim" is male and the instigator female, which is usually the case, this is almost certainly played for laughs.

No Real Life examples, please.

---

Examples:

Anime and Manga

• A short in the Ayakashi Triangle manga, adapted and expanded into an audio sketch with the anime's voice actors, has Suzu's legs touching Matsuri under the kotatsu. The narration points out the ambiguity of how far she's going, and she looks too far away to reach Matsuri's crotch, but Matsuri's aroused fidgeting (and the way Suzu peels a piece of fruit) suggests more than playing footsie. Matsuri pretends nothing is happening as Suzu subtly gloats, until she accidentally wakes up Shirogane, who bites her leg.
• This happens quite a lot in Maka Maka (which is a hentai manga, so take a wild guess which variety it uses). Though strictly speaking it's only under a table once.

Comic Books

• Performed in Tart, an erotic comic book, by the eponymous character and an ex-boyfriend. Goes the whole range from groping to oral sex to vaginal sex to him throwing off the table and revealing them to the whole restaurant in twisted exhibitionism.
• In Jessica Blandy volume 17, Jessica's lover begins caressing her between the legs. He whispers her to remove her panties, then we see his hand between her hips and Jessica is no longer able to have an intelligent conversation, and cannot hide her orgasm. At the end of the book, it is implied seeing this helped an uptight young man to become boyfriend material.

Fan Works

• In the Business of Muzzles fanfic, Judy arouses Nick by telling him that he should go commando prior to going in their favorite diner and start off with a simple velvety footsie that rises from his leg to his crotch, to groping and eventually a handjob, resulting a near climax if the waitress had not arrive at the last moment.
• Happens in xoBlackIcex's fanfic Mr Kirkland to Underage!Alfred from Arthur underneath the dinner table while his family is eating. Matthew notices and is throughly disgusted.
• Dangers in Fiction has two downplayed moments between Luz and Amity, both being a result of Amity wanting to get a flustered reaction out of Luz: during lunch at school, both girls end up placing their hands on the other's thigh. Two chapters later, they start off playing a game of footsie that leads to them caressing their legs before ending on Amity trolling Luz by placing her foot between Luz's thighs, getting a laugh out of her girlfriend.

Film

• At the beginning of the third American Pie movie, Michelle tries this with Jim.
• Arizona Dream: Two couples simultaneously engage in this in different ways (one closer to innocent Footsie Under the Table due to the resistance, another more akin to R rating, though not exactly onscreen).
• In Back to the Future, Marty's future mother squeezes his thigh under the table, causing him to jump up from the table and RUN out the door.
• The Big Wedding: During the rehearsal dinner, Nuria gropes Jared under the table while everyone is eating. Ellie spots this and drags Nuria away to talk about manners.
• In Coming to America, Eddie Murphy's character is groped under his jacket by the sister of his love-interest...in a stadium during a basketball game.
• Cousin Cousine: One young man actually crawls under the table at the wedding reception to fondle his girlfriend's leg.
• Fifty Shades of Grey: Christian attempts to finger Anastasia under the table when dining with his family at his home. But he failed as Anastasia pushes his hand away.
• The Firemen's Ball: When the zaftig young woman goes under the table to retrieve her pearls, her boyfriend goes after her. At first she tries to push him away, but when one of the firemen looks under the table, he sees the two of them having sex.
• Flashdance: At one point, Alex Owens teases Nick Hurley by lifting one of her feet to his scrotum under the table where they're eating.
• In Paul Verhoeven's historical-ish piece Flesh+Blood (1985), Jennifer Jason Leigh's character crosses the line from Footsie Under the Table to this when she wiggles her toes under Rutger Hauer's codpiece and proceeds from there.
• In the comedy film Going the Distance, a farmer's daughter crawls under the dinner table and goes down on one of the male guests, and then on one of the female guests.
• In the film Kissing Jessica Stein, Jessica and her girlfriend Helen (who have just gotten together and are still trying to get over Jessica's epic physical intimacy issues), are at a bar together, when two men come over to their table and try to chat them up. Helen engages them in conversation and when they say they love the idea of lesbian couples, asks them what men find so fascinating about lesbian couples. As the guys are trying awkwardly to explain this, Helen begins feeling up Jessica's thigh under the table, causing Jessica to squirm in her seat and desperately try not to make a sound...until Helen's hand disappears up underneath Jessica's dress, and Jessica can't help but gasp at a sudden spike of arousal. Cue hurried excuses ("you don't look well, I should get you home to bed") and they leave...to indulge in some lovemaking. Which suffers Coitus Interruptus just after getting in through the front door.
• In On Her Majesty's Secret Service, a woman gropes James Bond (who is wearing a kilt) while everyone is eating dinner. When he is asked if he is all right, he replies, "I feel a slight stiffness coming on."
• Police Academy: A hooker hiding inside a podium unzips and gropes first Lassard, and later Mahoney.
• Madame de Blayac does this to the Marquis de Malavoy by rubbing his groin with her foot in Ridicule, mostly to distract him at a dinner party so that he can't concentrate enough to be witty. Since the key to success at court is wit, this is actually a big deal.
• One of the early examples is Shampoo; at a party, Jackie, who's drunk and miserable, gets comforted by a stranger who says he'd be willing to give her whatever she wants. She points to George, her ex-boyfriend, and says, "I want to suck his cock." She then proceeds to do just that.
• Wedding Crashers: Vince Vaughn's character is groped...er..."all the way" by his stalker with a crush, played by Isla Fisher.
• Weekend at Bernie's: In a restaurant, Bernie's girlfriend goes from Footsie Under the Table to Naughty Under The Table while her mobster boyfriend's there.
• Femina Ridens: in this Italian film of 1969 she uses both of her feet almost in the plain view.
• Sessomatto (episode "L'ospite"): during the dinner a gorgeous woman does this with the only guest invited, just under the nose of her husband who seems to be completely oblivious. Played With, as the husband is in fact perfectly aware of her actions, and the whole thing is actually meant to keep the things excited between the spouses.

Jokes

• A young couple applies to join a church, and are told that they must practice abstinence for one week to prove their dedication. A week later, the couple return to the church and the husband says, "Sorry, Father. We almost made it, but last night at dinner, I dropped my fork under the table and we both reached for it. Our eyes met and we gave into our passions right there." The priest tells them that unfortunately they couldn't join the church. The husband replies, "That's okay. We aren't allowed back at that restaurant either."

Literature

• In Atlanta Nights, Steven Suffern does the R-rated version to... some guy, who then has a heart attack.
• In Fifty Shades of Grey Christian tries to finger Ana while they are having dinner with his parents in his childhood home. Ana does not allow him, promptly removing his hand. Much to his ire.
• In In the Time of the Butterflies, Trujillo does this to a senator's wife.
• A Song of Ice and Fire. When Prince Theon Greyjoy arrives back at the Iron Islands after spending years away as a hostage, his sister Asha poses as a shipwright's wife named Esgred in order to find out his plans, allowing Theon to grope her in the process. Theon is naturally disturbed when he finds out the truth, and to taunt him Asha grabs his crotch under the dinner table later, causing Theon to leap to his feet.
• Used in the Edwardian erotic novel The Temptations of Cremorne, where a notorious rake uses his foot to bring the young heroine to orgasm by massaging her crotch with his foot during dinner.
• Marcus Didius Falco. Done as a practical joke by Falco on his Friend on the Force Petronius. He squeezes the thigh of Petronius' wife, so she'll angrily elbow her husband thinking he's the one doing it (public displays of affection being quite indecent in Ancient Rome). Without looking up from his meal Petronius tells Falco to stop groping his wife, implying he's pulled this trick before.

Live-Action TV

• In Battlestar Galactica (2003), Ellen Tigh, in one of her first appearances, does this quite blatantly under the table. Bonus points because the man she did it to was the commander's son. Extra credit: it was in front of her husband. Ultra points: Lee [the commander's son] didn't want it at all and was publicly disgusted. High Score: She managed to get him in trouble for it, while she got away scot-free.
• Happens in an episode of Breaking Bad when Walt tries to grope his wife under a table (during a PTA meeting!). The scene ends with Walt and Skyler ditching the meeting and having sex in their car.
• Californication: Dinner Table version. In a first-season episode, Hank's date squeezes his thigh. Seated on his other side, Mia goes right for his crotch.
• In Charmed 6x04 "The Power of Three Blondes", Phoebe's imposter gives her boyfriend outright fellatio underneath the table in a restaurant full of people.
• "The Bare Facts", an episode of Simon & Simon, where the brothers were undercover at a nudist colony, had a woman who instigated the naughty with her foot, directed first at AJ, and later at Rick, who jumped back, knocking a waiter into a pool.
• An episode of Three's Company had Jack, Lana and Mr. Furley having dinner together. Though Furley considered it HIS date with Lana, she was interested in Jack and grabbed him under the table, causing him to exclaim "Hway!" and jump to his feet.
• In a season one episode of Dexter, Deb and her date are making out across the table, which causes Rita to feel insecure about the lack of sex in her and Dexter's relationship. She responds by putting a hand on his thigh under the table, but he merely looks uncomfortable and tries to ignore her.
• CSI: In one episode, a man is murdered while having dinner in a restaurant whose gimmick is that meals are served in 100% darkness. While questioning the patrons, the team meet a woman holding a bloody handkerchief to the top of her head. Turns out, her fiance had proposed, she'd accepted and then "thanked him" by crawling under the table for some, uh, intimacy, and had beaned herself on a metal support bar.
• Subverted in a Season 4 episode of CSI: NY. A woman dies right after having an orgasm in a restaurant (for bonus points, her fingers and toes are still curled). It is initially assumed by the detectives and witnesses that the woman was murdered by her...erm, partner. In reality, her inhaler was spiked with a sex drug that caused her to, in Danny’s words, “lose it in front of God and everybody.” The sudden rush triggered a heart attack.
• Legends of Tomorrow. In "Tender is the Nate", as a birthday present Sara Lance saunters into Director Ava Sharpe's office in lingerie and starts making out with her. Hilarity Ensues when Ava's boss barges into the room and starts roasting her about the Legend's excessive expense account, while Sara uses her ninja skills to avoid detection, somehow ending up under Ava's desk.
  Hank: If I didn't know any better I'd say you were in bed with the Legends! (Reveal Shot of a grinning Sara running a hand up Ava's leg) Either that or this Captain Lance is simply screwing you! (Ava gives a guilty start)
• In New Girl, Jess's sister Abby gives Schmidt a handjob under the table, much to Nick's dismay.
• Supernatural: In one of the many instances of a Winchester being sexually harassed and it being Played for Laughs, the psychic Pamela conducts a seance to see the entity that rescued Dean from Hell and needs to touch a part of Dean the entity touched. She grabs something under the table, to which a visibly uncomfortable Dean replies that it didn't touch him there.

Music

• Suggested in the Alanis Morissette song "You Oughtta Know". Of course, we don't see the "victim" reacting to her behavior in the theater, but it IS a public place.
• Mentioned by Childish Gambino in his song "Bonfire".

Visual Novels

• Happens in Daughter for Dessert if the protagonist advises Kathy to be more spontaneous. When a psychologist customer gives the protagonist an impromptu therapy session, Kathy starts sucking him off underneath the bar.

Web Animation

• In the first episode of Typical Strange, a psychic does this to TK with her foot.

Webcomics

• Implied in Funny Farm the webcomic, between Flink and Tanya Rubbthys when she "goes for the breadsticks".
• Invoked as a means for the President to overcome her qualms to morally objectionable proposals in Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, as seen here.

Web Video

• Briefly referenced in this video from The Onion: "Space Under Boardroom Table A Complex Web Of Feet Massaging Various Genitals."
• Hysterical Literature is an art project where women read from a work of literature while being stimulated by a vibrator which is out of sight under the table, so you don't see anything NSFW. Hilarity Ensues.

Western Animation

• In an episode of The Venture Brothers, Bud Manstrong's mother tries to grope Brock under the table. He is not amused.
• Season four of South Park has an episode where Saddam Hussein strokes Satan's thigh under the table.
• Archer: In the episode "Killing Utne", KGB agent Katya Kasanova seduces the lecherous UN intelligence chairman during a dinner party held in his honor by ISIS by gripping his thigh while seated next to him. Then subverted when she injects him with a poisoned needle instead.
• Clone High: When Joan visits Ghandi after he gets sent to prison by mistake, he asks her to give him a high-five under the table, since no one has given him a high-five since he got there and all the other prisoners are currently getting one. Joan looks over to the other visitors, who are giving their respective prisoners something under the table that probably isn't a high-five but does give them great pleasure.

---