"Vulcans do not make small talk."The Other Wiki defines small talk, or phatic communication, as "Conversation for its own sake", versus conversation to transmit useful information. In many societies it serves as a useful social function, but this guy doesn't enjoy taking part in it. Maybe he's The Quiet One or the Aloof Ally, maybe he has a laser focus on a single goal, maybe he's completely stressed out, or maybe he's German. Whatever the case, he'd rather talk about something meaningful or nothing at all, than Talk About the Weather. Also commonly comes up with people who have an Ambiguous Disorder, Emotionless Girls, Sugar and Ice Personality, and, well, anything to do with introversion. Truth in Television for many people. Sister trope of Dispense with the Pleasantries. Compare Being Personal Isn't Professional, which may be one justification, or No Social Skills, which may be another.
—Tuvok, Star Trek: Voyager
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- Anita Blake repeatedly mentions how little she likes small talk, and how much she appreciates those characters who don't indulge in it either, like Dolph and Edward.
- A Frozen Heart: In this tie-in novel to Frozen, Prince Hans' father, the King of the Southern Isles, has no patience for idle banter and oftentimes got annoyed at Hans' attempts to make conversation with him, frequently rebuking him for not "getting straight to the point" any time he deemed his youngest son had overstayed too long in his presence and ordering him to get out. It's justified as the king has more important things to focus on than Hans' attempts at pointlessly talking about his brothers bullying him, coldly dismissing him as nothing more than a whiner and a nuisance who aimlessly rants about his twelve older brothers all the time.
- RCN: Adlele Mundy has no patience for conversation that does not convey data, and prefers to get her data electronically without any conversation at all.
- One of the many interpretations and theories around Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men is that he despises small talk because it's, essentially, purposeless. In one scene of the book and film, he bullies and almost kills a man for trying to make conversation with him, only stopping because he won a coin toss.
- Magic: The Gathering: Test of Metal contains this exchange:
His voice faded to a gurgle as the dragon leaned on his chest hard enough to spring a couple of his ribs. "Banter," said Nicol Bolas, "gets on my nerves."
- Aya of Tantei Team KZ Jiken Note hates small talk and couldn't do it either. This is the reason for her Friendless Background.
- One of the reasons the characters Hettar and Eriond get along well in The Belgariad is their mutual lack of need to fill gaps of silence while travelling together with random conversation. They don't hate small talk per se but neither see the point of it.
- In Blindsight an alien civilization cannot comprehend the concept of communication that isn't intended to transmit useful data, technically they're not even sentient, and they assume sentience is a disease and attempt to "contain" it.
- Played with in Horatio Hornblower. Hornblower, though shy, is inclined to be chatty to the point he doesn't trust himself to allow himself any unnecessary conversation with his officers. Instead he maintains a strict reserve and generally confines his remarks to an ambiguous "Ha, h'm," which certainly gives him the reputation for hating small talk.
Live Action TV
- Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. It's not that he hates small talk; it's that his idea of small talk consists of advanced physics theory, comic book and Star Trek canon, and obscure factoids he finds fascinating (even if no one else does). Things such as gossip, sports or personal relationships, he couldn't care less about.
- From the Star Trek franchise:
- Both Worf and Odo hate small talk. Inevitably this leads to a conversation in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine where they make small talk...about how they hate small talk.
- In Star Trek: The Next Generation, Captain Picard is not a big fan of small talk. In fact, when Data attempted to make small talk with him, he directed the android to keep an eye on someone who was notorious for being big on small talk. Data follows that order and the rest of the crew look in amazement as the resulting conversation rapidly shrinks to microscopic proportions.
Riker: I have to admit, it has a sort of strange fascination. How long can two people talk about nothing?
- In Star Trek: Voyager, Tuvok once remarked that "Vulcans do not make small talk." However, under orders, he does briefly make small talk with a hologram of Leonardo da Vinci.
- Similarly, on Voyager, when Captain Janeway first activated The Doctor and commented on his lack of personality, he stated that he was programmed to perform medicine as efficiently as possible and small talk would only compromise his performance. Later, however, as part of his growth to exceed his programming, he learned the art of small talk in order to better relate to his patients, and tried to teach it to Seven of Nine, a former Borg drone, as well.
- The "Vocational Guidance Counsellor" sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus has this exchange between Palin and Cleese (no prizes for guessing who plays what):
Counsellor: Ah, Mr Anchovy! Do sit down.
Mr Anchovy: Thank you. Take the weight off the feet, eh? Lovely weather for the time of year I must say!
Counsellor: Enough of this gay banter.
- Both Cersei Lannister and Lyanna Mormont in Game of Thrones get extremely annoyed at folks who don't get to the point. Lyanna quickly shuts down the admittedly poor attempts at small talk and flattery during her meeting with Sansa and Jon. Even her initial greeting ends so abruptly that it catches her guests unaware.
Lyanna: I think we've had enough small talk. Why are you here?
- In the crime-lab show Bones, one of the regularly-repeating crew of interns is constantly frustrated by the amount of time the main characters spend discussing their personal lives and dramas, so much so that "can we talk about the job, please" is basically his Catch-Phrase. Of course, on the rare occasions when he talks about his personal life, everyone else expresses shock at how unprofessional he's being.
- From Sabrina the Teenage Witch where she meets Aaron's parents:
Sabrina: Hi, Aaron's told me so much about you.
Aaron's Dad: Then he obviously didn't tell you I hate small talk.
- Sam Puckett from iCarly, especially when it comes to guys and dating. She'd rather they not talk to her and pay for dinner... or even just give her the money and stay out of her life.
- Mitchell from Modern Family hates making small talk with strangers. In one episode, this is his justification for not attending a wedding with his partner Cam.
- Detective Murdoch from Murdoch Mysteries is a downplayed example, as he doesn't especially despise it, but he prefers useful conversation or talking about science.
Brackenreid: So Murdoch, how's married life treating you? All well at the hotel?
Murdoch: I'm happy to report that it's an excellent arrangement. No one pays you any particular mind.
Brackenreid: What do you mean?
Murdoch: Well, sir, at my boarding house, the other residents... I was constantly being pulled into conversations of limited merit.
Brackenreid: I can only imagine the difficulty.
Murdoch: Thank you.
- Veronica from Better Off Ted.
Veronica: How are you?
Ted: I'm fine. Why?
Veronica: I was just seeing what small talk might look like.
Ted: Oh, well, usually, you...
Veronica: Please stop. I feel like I just pissed away my day.
- Jess from Gilmore Girls hates small talk mostly because he'd rather be in a quiet corner somewhere reading and because everyone in Stars Hollow likes to be in each other's business. This is apparently a negative with some folks, especially Lorelai.
- Captain Holt and Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine (and in Rosa's case, it's not just small talk but revealing any details about her life whatsoever).
Rosa: We only have to fill eight minutes.
Holt: Sure, but think about it as 480 seconds and you'll see why I'm concerned.
Rosa: Oh, my God.
- Kilgrave in Jessica Jones. He looks like he'd rather pass a kidney stone than try to have a conversation without his powers.
Kilgrave: I've always been bad at small talk. I'm used to just saying things and they happen. (chuckles) Spoils you.
Lin: Well, what a burden.
Kilgrave: You have no idea.
- NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Tony DiNozzo describes him as a "functional mute".
- "Small Talk" by Genesis:
Going round in circles, hearing too many points of view
Just words to tire me out, small talk I could do without
I would be amazed if you returned to see things my way
Now that you've been disrespectful to my sense of pride
- The song "Everybody But Me" by Lykke Li covers this pretty well.
- Imogen Heap's "First Train Home" is allegedly about something like this happening at a party.
- Scritti Politti's "Small Talk":
I heard a whisper
That careless talk costs more than you bargained for
- Supertramp's Casual Conversations
- In The Pajama Game there's a song called "Small Talk"
I don't want to talk small talk
Now that I'm alone with you
I don't want to talk small talk
We've got bigger things to do
Let's not talk of the weather
Or the fashions for the fall
Why don't you stop all this small talk?
I've got something better for your lips to do
And that takes no talk at all
- Dragon Age: Origins:
- Sten. It's almost expected, considering he's a Proud Warrior Race Guy.
Alistair: You know, you can try to talk more.
Sten: You mean I should remark upon the weather before I cut someone's head off?
Alistair: Uhh... never mind.
- Another example, when the player is asking questions...
Grey Warden: Tell me about the Qunari.
Grey Warden: Well that's not what I expected to hear.
- The sequel confirms this applies to Qunari soldiers in general, either out of stoicism or discomfort with a foreign language. They can be extremely eloquent when discussing philosophy, but have no concept of talk for its own sake. The Arishok has little to say but "begone" to anyone besides Hawke.
- Sten. It's almost expected, considering he's a Proud Warrior Race Guy.
- David King, the plumber in the Resident Evil Outbreak games. His strong aversion to small talk lessens in his ending in File # 2.
- Timur, Ray Bulgarin's buddy/lackey from Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony really hates small talk, and considers Luis' insistence in engaging in it with him as a sign of insincerity. He's also a total Jerkass to boot:
Timur: So fucking what?
Luis: So, what's up with you, bro?
Timur: Fuck off.
- Mare from RPG Shooter: Starwish. Mare initially appears to be The Voiceless, answering all your attempts to strike up a conversation with an ellipsis. When finally starting to talk, Mare still doesn't say much, because "You never said anything important." And yes, those occasions when Mare is willing to talk, is when you bring up important stuff, like 'the continued survival of Life, the Universe and Everything', more or less.
- Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy VIII. When badgered by his companions to speak you can visually see his whole body sigh before he stands upright to make as short a statement as possible. He makes prolific use of the "..." Visible Silence and seems to have a ready stock of responses to deter people from making small talk with him.
Quistis: Talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind.
Quistis: [mocking] Whatever. [laughs]
- In Bayonetta, the titular protagonist has no time for the constant, winding chatter of the Affably Evil archangels. Her responses to their enigmatic prattle and over-formality is invariably some mixture of innuendo, snark, and/or gunfire.
- Both Rinkah and Beruka from Fire Emblem Fates firmly believe in this trope. In Rinkah's case, it's because of a rule of her tribe, while Beruka is this way due to being an Emotionless Girl.
- Shining Force: Resurrection of the Dark Dragon added some mild characterization by allowing you to get to know your Force members by speaking to them in headquarters. Zylo the werewolf absolutely abhors this, though, and every conversation with him is either Visible Silence or him (re)stating that his favorite color is black.
- Shadow from Sonic the Hedgehog. Due to being an aloof and standoffish individual who is always focused on a mission, he isn't a fan of small talk. For example, in Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), Rouge asks Shadow if he wants to know the object she's holding which is the Scepter of Darkness. Shadow tells her that G.U.N. sent him to rescue her and nothing else. Rouge then comments on how he's always business.
- Maddox wishes he could kick people who make small talk in the crotch. Seriously.
- Matt Walsh, the conservative blogger, has mentioned in several of his posts and podcasts his hatred of small talk.
- The awkward, filled-with-this date The Nostalgia Critic has with the The Nostalgia Chick drove him to breaking point.
- Bitch of Worm isn't fond of conversation in general, and particularly dislikes small talk.
- In Volume 1, Chapter 3 of RWBY, Blake Belladonna is clearly agitated when Ruby and Yang attempt to start a conversation with her. Only when Ruby asks Blake about the book she's reading does Blake seem interested in talking to her.
- In The Venture Bros. episode with the Mr. Alt Disney character Mr. Brisbee, Brock at first tries to get along with Brisbee's bodyguard, but the other is completely silent and rude. Later on Brock is bored and tries to light a cigarette but can't, at which point the other bodyguard produces a lighter, prompting Brock to say "You're all right." Of course, it was all a trick to knock him out.
- Lemongrab of Adventure Time tends to be like this, thanks to his almost total lack of social skills. He prefers sending people to the dungeon without a peep to actually discussing problems.
- Garnet from Steven Universe normally responds to small talk by glaring silently until they go away.
- “small talk comes from small bones” ― Ezra Pound
- This is why introverts are perceived as not being very talkative by so many, in fact. They don't like making small talk, but if they're asked about a subject they enjoy talking about, it may be difficult to get them to shut up.
- Phil Hill, the first American to win a Formula One championship has been described as being uneasy making small talk, but welcoming of a serious discussion on any topic.
- Steve Wozniak, one of the fathers of the modern computer, also hates small talk, which he has said is part of what made him so interested in computers. If he wasn't so asocial he wouldn't have become so interested in electronics in the first place.
- In the Finnish language, the closest thing there is to a expression for "small talk" can also be roughly translated to "grinding shit." The implication is that you are moving your mouth, but you are not doing anything useful with it.
- Hungarian also doesn't have a direct translation, the closest expressions used for it can also mean "chit-chat", "gossip", "tattling" or "empty-talk". Stereotypically done by almost only women: secretaries, government-employees and old ladies.
- The prevalence of small talk does appear to vary with culture. Reportedly, the British find Germans rude for not using small talk, while Germans consider small talk to be dishonest and don't have a native word for the concept in their language.
- The situation gets very interesting if you visit places outside of your usual area of residence, like old traditional country villages, where you may find people talking about what you would typically perceive as a small talk topic seriously. This is relatively common in the case of discussing the weather, which is in fact very important to growing and cultivating crops.