->''"Vulcans do not make small talk."''
->--'''{{T|heSpock}}uvok''', ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''

TheOtherWiki defines small talk, or phatic communication, as [[SeinfeldianConversation "Conversation for its own sake,"]] versus conversation to transmit useful information. In many societies it serves as a useful social function, but this guy doesn't enjoy taking part in it.

Maybe he's TheQuietOne or the AloofAlly, maybe he has [[{{Determinator}} a laser focus on a single goal]], maybe he's completely stressed out, or maybe he's {{German|icEfficiency}}. Whatever the case, he'd rather talk about something meaningful or nothing at all, than TalkAboutTheWeather. Also commonly comes up with people who have an AmbiguousDisorder, {{Emotionless Girl}}s, SugarAndIcePersonality, and, well, anything to do with {{introversion|Tropes}}.

TruthInTelevision for many people.

Sister trope of DispenseWithThePleasantries. Compare BeingPersonalIsntProfessional, which may be one justification, or NoSocialSkills, which may be another.

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!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:{{Literature}}]]
* AnitaBlake repeatedly mentions how little she likes small talk, and how much she appreciates those characters who don't indulge in it either, like Dolph and Edward.
* ''Literature/{{RCN}}'': [[BadassBookworm Adlele Mundy]] has no patience for conversation that does not convey data, and prefers to get her data electronically without any conversation at all.
* One of the ''many'' interpretations and theories around Anton Chigurh from ''Literature/NoCountryForOldMen'' is that he despises small talk because it's, essentially, purposeless. In one scene of the book and film, he bullies and almost kills a man for trying to make conversation with him, only stopping because he won a coin toss.
* ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'': ''Literature/TestOfMetal'' contains this exchange:
-->''His voice faded to a gurgle as the dragon leaned on his chest hard enough to spring a couple of his ribs. "Banter," said Nicol Bolas, "gets on my nerves."''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:LiveActionTV]]
* Sheldon from ''Series/TheBigBangTheory''. It's not that he hates small talk; it's that ''his'' idea of small talk consists of advanced physics theory, comic book and ''Franchise/StarTrek'' canon, and obscure factoids he finds fascinating (even if no one else does). Things such as gossip, sports or personal relationships, he couldn't care less about.
* From the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' franchise:
** Both Worf and Odo hate small talk. Inevitably this leads to a conversation in ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' where they make small talk...about how they hate small talk.
** In ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', Captain Picard is not a big fan of small talk. In fact, when Data attempted to make small talk with him, he directed the android to keep an eye on someone who was notorious for being big on small talk. Data follows that order and the rest of the crew look in amazement as the resulting conversation rapidly shrinks to microscopic proportions.
** In ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', Tuvok once remarked that "Vulcans do not make small talk." However, under orders, he does briefly make small talk with a hologram of LeonardoDaVinci.
** Similarly, on ''Voyager'', when Captain Janeway first activated The Doctor and commented on his lack of personality, he stated that he was programmed to perform medicine as efficiently as possible and small talk would only compromise his performance. Later, however, as part of his growth to exceed his programming, he learned the art of small talk in order to better relate to his patients, and tried to teach it to Seven of Nine, a former Borg drone, as well.
* The "Vocational Guidance Counsellor" sketch from ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' has this exchange between Palin and Cleese (no prizes for guessing who plays what):
-->'''Counsellor''': Ah, Mr Anchovy! Do sit down.
-->'''Mr Anchovy''': Thank you. Take the weight off the feet, eh? Lovely weather for the time of year I must say!
-->'''Counsellor''': Enough of this gay banter.
* In the crime-lab show ''Series/{{Bones}}'', one of the regularly-repeating crew of interns is constantly frustrated by the amount of time the main characters spend discussing their personal lives and dramas, so much so that "can we talk about the job, please" is basically his CatchPhrase. [[RuleOfFunny Of course]], on the rare occasions when ''he'' talks about his personal life, everyone else [[HypocriticalHumor expresses shock at how unprofessional he's being.]]
* From ''Series/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch'' where she meets Aaron's parents:
-->'''Sabrina:''' Hi, Aaron's told me so much about you.\\
'''Aaron's Dad:''' Then he obviously didn't tell you I hate small talk.
* Sam Puckett from ''Series/{{iCarly}}'', especially when it comes to guys and dating. She'd rather they not talk to her and pay for dinner... or even just give her the money and stay out of her life.
* Mitchell from ''Series/ModernFamily'' hates making small talk with strangers. In one episode, this is his justification for not attending a wedding with his partner Cam.
* Detective Murdoch from ''Series/MurdochMysteries'' is a Downplayed example, as he doesn't especially despise it, but he prefers useful conversation or talking about science.
-->'''Brackenreid:''' So Murdoch, how's married life treating you? All well at the hotel?
-->'''Murdoch:''' I'm happy to report that it's an excellent arrangement. No one pays you any particular mind.
-->'''Brackenreid:''' What do you mean?
-->'''Murdoch:''' Well, sir, at my boarding house, the other residents... I was constantly being pulled into conversations of limited merit.
-->'''Brackenreid:''' I can only imagine the difficulty.
-->'''Murdoch:''' [[SarcasmBlind Thank you]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:{{Music}}]]
* "Small Talk" by {{Music/Genesis}}:
-->Going round in circles, hearing too many points of view\\
Just words to tire me out, small talk I could do without\\
I would be amazed if you returned to see things my way\\
Now that you've been disrespectful to my sense of pride
* The song "Everybody But Me" by LykkeLi covers this pretty well.
* ImogenHeap's "First Train Home" is [[WordOfGod allegedly]] about something like this happening at a party.
* Music/ScrittiPolitti's "Small Talk":
-->I heard a whisper\\
That careless talk costs more than you bargained for
* {{Supertramp}}'s Casual Conversations
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
* In ''Theatre/ThePajamaGame'' there's a song called [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0cJKzYyYy8 "Small Talk"]]
-->I don't want to talk small talk
-->Now that I'm alone with you
-->I don't want to talk small talk
-->We've got bigger things to do
-->Let's not talk of the weather
-->Or the fashions for the fall
-->Why don't you stop all this small talk?
-->I've got something better for your lips to do
-->And that takes no talk at all
[[/folder]]

[[folder:VideoGames]]
* Sten from ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''. It's almost expected, considering he's a ProudWarriorRaceGuy.
-->'''Alistair''': You know, you can try to talk more.
-->'''Sten''': You mean I should remark upon the weather before I cut someone's head off?
-->'''Alistair''': Uhh... never mind.
** Another example, when the player is asking questions...
-->'''Grey Warden''': Tell me about the Qunari.
-->'''Sten''': No.
-->'''Grey Warden''': I...didn't expect that.
** The sequel confirms this applies to Qunari soldiers in general, either out of stoicism or discomfort with a foreign language. They can be extremely eloquent when discussing philosophy, but have no concept of talk for its own sake. The Arishok has little to say but "begone" to anyone besides [[WorthyOpponent Hawke]].
* David King, the plumber in the ''VideoGame/ResidentEvilOutbreak'' games. [[spoiler:His strong aversion to small talk lessens in his ending in ''File # 2''.]]
* Mare from ''VideoGame/RPGShooterStarwish''. Mare initially appears to be TheVoiceless, answering all your attempts to strike up a conversation with an ellipsis. When finally starting to talk, Mare [[TheQuietOne still doesn't say much]], because "You never said anything important."\\
\\
And yes, those occasions when Mare ''is'' willing to talk, is when you bring up ''important'' stuff, like 'the continued survival of Life, the Universe and Everything', more or less.
* Squall Leonhart from ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII''. When badgered by his companions to speak you can visually see his whole body sigh before he stands upright to make as short a statement as possible. He makes prolific use of the "..." VisibleSilence and seems to have a ready stock of responses to deter people from making small talk with him.
-->Quistis: Talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind.
-->Squall: Whatever.
-->Quistis: (mocking) Whatever. *laughs*
-->Squall: *facepalm*
* In ''VideoGame/{{Bayonetta}}'', the titular protagonist has no time for the constant, winding chatter of the AffablyEvil archangels. Her responses to their enigmatic prattle and over-formality is invariably some mixture of [[MsFanservice innuendo]], [[DeadpanSnarker snark]], and/or [[TalkToTheFist gunfire]].
[[/folder]]

[[folder:WebOriginal]]
* [[TheBestPageInTheUniverse Maddox]] wishes he could kick people who make small talk [[GroinAttack in the crotch]]. [[http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=smalltalk Seriously]].
* The awkward, filled-with-this date WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic has with the WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick drove him to breaking point.
* Bitch of ''Literature/{{Worm}}'' isn't fond of conversation in general, and particularly dislikes small talk.
* In Volume 1, Chapter 3 of ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}'', Blake Belladonna is clearly agitated when [[SociallyAwkwardHero Ruby]] and [[CoolBigSis Yang]] attempt to start a conversation with her. Only when Ruby asks Blake about the book does Blake seem interested in talking to her.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:WesternAnimation]]
* In ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'' episode with the MrAltDisney character Mr. Brisbee, Brock at first tries to get along with Brisbee's bodyguard, but the other is completely silent and rude. Later on Brock is bored and tries to light a cigarette but can't, at which point the other bodyguard produces a lighter, prompting Brock to say "You're all right." Of course, it was all a trick to knock him out.
* Lemongrab of ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime'' tends to be like this, thanks to his almost total lack of social skills. He prefers sending people to the dungeon without a peep to actually discussing problems.
* Garnet from StevenUniverse normally responds to small talk by glaring silently until they go away.
[[/folder]]

[[folder:RealLife]]
* “small talk comes from small bones” ― Ezra Pound
* This is why [[MyersBriggs introverts]] are perceived as not being very talkative by so many, in fact. They don't like making small talk, but if they're asked about a subject they enjoy talking about, it may be difficult to get them to shut up.
* Phil Hill, the first American to win a UsefulNotes/FormulaOne championship has been described as being uneasy making small talk, but welcoming of a serious discussion on any topic.
* Steve Wozniak, one of the fathers of the modern computer, also hates small talk, which he has said is part of what made him so interested in computers. If he wasn't so asocial he wouldn't have become so interested in electronics in the first place.
* In the Finnish language, the closest thing there is to a expression for "small talk" can also be roughly translated to "grinding shit." The implication is that you are moving your mouth, but you are not doing anything useful with it.
* Hungarian also doesn't have a direct translation, the closest expressions used for it can also mean "chit-chat", "gossip", "tattling" or "empty-talk". Stereotypically done by almost only women: secretaries, government-employees and old ladies.
* The prevalence of small talk does appear to vary with culture. [[http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13545386 Reportedly]], the British find Germans rude for not using small talk, while Germans consider small talk to be dishonest and don't have a native word for the concept in their language.
* Situation gets very interesting if you visit old traditional country villages, in which you may find out people talking about what you perceived as a small talk topic seriously. This is relatively common in case of ''weather'', very important in relation to crop growing.
[[/folder]]

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