Funny / The IT Crowd

Series 1

  • Jen lamely trying to convince Denholm that she has experience with computers...which winds up working.
  • Hello Computer. Hello Computer. Hello Computer...
  • The photo montage of Moss and Roy and their day at the fair with a couple of prostitutes.
  • The new emergency services number: 0118 999 881 999 119 725 (Beat) 3.
    • And then Moss, without missing a beat, repeating it flawlessly!!
    • Moss trying to put the fire out with a fire extinguisher. Being "Made in Britain", it catches fire.
    Moss: "I'll just put this over here with the rest of the fire."
    • Moss sending an e-mail to the fire department because he can't remember the number. Made funnier by him saying "exclamation mark" aloud as he types.
    "Fire! Fire! Help me! 123 Cavendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours truly, Maurice Moss."
    • Then there's his first, overly formal effort.
    "Subject: Fire. Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire that has broken out on the premises of 123 Cavendon Road... Nope, that's way too formal."
    • Denholm comes down and sees the fire still burning behind a broken monitor frame.
    Denholm: "Nice screensaver!"
    • He sees it a second time, admiring how the flames rise above the (fake) screen.
    • Why didn't Jen get fired? The stress machine was Made in Britain.
  • Jen trying on shoes three sizes too small mangles her feet so badly that her toes become crossed.
    • After Jen ruined the merger after her Cluster F-Bomb, Denholm's saving grace was that her swearing was bleeped out by the profanity filter button. Paul, who was quick to react and promoted back on the payroll, came in too late on Denholm's Precision F-Strike.
  • It loses some humour in writing, but in "Fifty-Fifty," Jen, Moss, and Roy are having a conversation—just before, Roy had asked Moss' opinion on a pair of sunglasses he was trying on. Every time the camera switches back to Roy, he's wearing a different pair of sunglasses.
  • The morning after in Aunt Irma Visits
    • Jen's "demon" makeup and hairdo in the same episode.
  • "Here we are. Your place... your place. La Maison de la femme, El casa de las senorita... DAS HAUSE DIE FRAU!"
  • Roy and Moss's overly aggressive dating profiles, with Moss going a bit overboard with his:
    Moss: (reading) "I'm going to murder you! You bloody woman!"
    Roy: "You might be playing a bit too hard to get."
    • Then there's the following conversation:
    Moss: "If you were a murderer, what would your nickname be? Mine would be The Gardener, because I'd always leave a rose at the scene of the crime."
    Roy: "What would your murder weapon be?"
    Moss: (beat) "A hammer."
    • Roy's "greaser" getup that he dons to make himself look like a bastard on his date, as well as the overly gruff voice he uses.
  • HELLO COMPUTER! COMPUTER! HELLO COMPUTER!!
  • Moss and Roy getting PMS.
  • Roy goes in to plug in a computer and... gets stuck under the ladies' desk when they come back.
    • And he texted the distress call so nobody would hear him!
  • "STOP TELLING PEOPLE I SLEPT WITH YOU! YOU... BASTARD!!!!"

Series 2

  • ''The Work Outing" in itself is one long CMOF.
    • Roy uses a toilet for disabled people and accidentally pushes the emergency button. He cannot explain it, and all he can say is "I'm disabled!" and make things up as to how it happened.
    • "He's had a rough night. Somebody stole his wheelchair."
    • The 'Could he have thought you were a man?' Brick Joke.
    • Jen turning around and seeing Moss behind the bar.
    • Moss repeatedly breaking glasses at the bar.
    • "Hooooooold my haaaaaand." "No . . . That's not my hand."
    • The gay musical called Gay. All of it.
    • The blurbs for the musical, which include "The audience applauded", "More than tolerable" and "Not as long as some musicals."
    • The Overly Long Gag of Roy going up and down the wheelchair lift.
    • Roy running into the actor from earlier during the after-party. The latter correctly assumes Roy is faking it, but expresses it through an insulting Irish accent, and dumps the guy next to Roy out of his wheelchair.
    • Roy being hit on by a man in the bus back to Manchester, and everyone doing a sing-along of the musical's songs.
  • The eulogy given during "Return of the Golden Child".
    • Roy's 'heart attack".
      • The funniest part is that Roy, worrying he's going to die thanks to Moss's internet test, gets more and more frightened as the priest at the funeral repeats the phrase "Death is calling!", only for his phone (with a juiced-up vibration, again thanks to Moss) goes off in his breast pocket. And who was calling? Richmond, his face made up like a death's-head mask. Death really was calling him!
    • Moss delivering a rant to the office after someone disables the firewall:
    Moss: "Thank you, some attention please. I know you don't think it's "important" or "cool" but there is a ruddy good reason why we put up anti-virus software and firewalls. It's because there are a lot of dangerous things out there."
    • Cue Denholm falling past the window behind him and people in the office freaking out. Soon afterwards, Moss comes back downstairs, still ranting about the firewall, only to be interrupted by Jen telling them that Denholm's dead. Moss, with no change in tone at all, adds, "Oh yes, and Denholm is dead."
    • Moss offering Denholm's widow a pen at the funeral.
    • The headshot of Denholm making an awkward sad face next to his casket.
  • Douglas's entrance to the funeral (and possibly the greatest entrance of a character EVER!)
    FAATHEEER!
  • In "Moss and the German", Jen and the other smokers attempt to fight against the company's restrictions on smoking, culminating in their being banished to an area far beyond the company property, which leads to a hilariously over-dramatic montage of Jen and Yorg making a long trek to the new smoking area, with Jen collapsing along the way and having to be carried by Yorg. After seeing the pathetic new smoking area, Jen decides to quit again.
    Jen: I am too tired for revolution. And we just walked four fucking miles.
  • Moss trying to start a bra company and going on Dragon's Den.
    Jen: "My tits! My tits are on fire!"
  • Richmond saying "Bloody hell, I think this is my one", after being introduced to Jessica at Jen's dinner party. The two end up getting on pretty well, culminating in:
    Jessica: Oh! Look at me, "having an orgasm"!
    • "Memory IS RAM! Oh DEAR!"
    • "Who's a paedophile?"
    • This:
    Jen: What are you doing?!
    Roy: Well, um... not that it's any of your business, but I was planning to have a little poo.
    • Over the course of a two-hour dinner party, Moss and the woman he's partnered up with seem to go through a twenty-year marriage by way of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?.
    Moss: You're embarrassing yourself!
    Margaret: Oh, look at him! He's a delicate flower!
    Moss: You are drunk!
    Margaret: Well, if you paid a little more attention to me!
    Moss: Oh, tell us, Margaret, tell us all! How could we possibly pay more attention to you?!
    Margaret: You've changed. You're not the same man I liked when I came into the party.
    Moss: [Bitterly] We've all changed, Margaret. We all have. [Angrily smokes a cigarette]
  • "Damn that sorcerer! Twenty gold pieces and I'm wankered on Rohypnol!"

Series 3

  • "Dem glasses is shit, innit?".
    • "It's too real, Roy! It's too real!"
  • Moss getting back at the bullies in "From Hell"
    Moss: *waving a gun around while running* I've got a gun! I've got a ruddy gun!
    • Douglas finds the aforementioned gun in his desk:
    "Oh wow! A gun!"
  • "Are We Not Men?" which gives us the longest Fake-Out Make-Out in human history... between Roy and Moss, in order to hide from passing police cars (of which there are far too many), instead of using a collection of huge bins nearby as cover.
    • Their all-purpose football dialogue.
      • Roy had just been shellshocked from finding out his new friends were robbers and blubbers, "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"
    • Jen's magician boyfriend.
  • "Tramps Like Us", where it starts with Roy getting coffee spilled on him and Moss getting concussed and ends with a nun, a priest, a rabbi and Douglas's electric sex pants. Moss goes to his happy place...
    • To clarify that last one, Douglas has been court-ordered to wear something to prevent him getting aroused. They begin shocking him all the time.
    Douglas: GOD DAMN THESE ELECTRIC SEX PANTS!
    • Moss recovers from concussion after an electric shock from said pants, and wakes up to the Windows start-up sound.
    • Roy's reunion with Jen after a shirtless Roy had been thrown out of the building. "It was the worst two hours of my life!"
  • Douglas first meeting and wooing his would-be girlfriend when she comes to interview him. He shows her a "caricature" he's done of her... which turns out to be a stick figure with two gigantic boobs. Then, after he's learned that she's a post-op trans woman, he sorrowfully takes the drawing and adds a mustache to it.
  • Moss's delivery of probably the single most awesomely cheesy one-liner not to appear in an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.
    "You'd better put seat belts on your ears, Roy, because I'm about to take them for the ride of their lives!"
  • In "The Speech", the boys have convinced Jen that "the Internet" is a small box with an LED on top. Roy initially acts hostile to the idea of her borrowing it - "What's Jen doing with the Internet?" - but comes round after Moss assures him that it's been completely "demagnetised" by Stephen Hawking himself.
    • "C'mon, boys, the Elders of the Internet? The Elders of the Internet know who I am?!"
    • In the same episode, Douglas's knuckle-down action movie-style fight with his trans ex-girlfriend, which revels in being as wrong and offensive as possible until you have no choice but to find it funny. In his defense, she started it... by punching him so hard he went straight into a glass cabinet.
      • And then it intersects with the other plot when the two break the "internet", causing a panic among the shareholders.
      • Before that, Moss and Roy are giddily waiting for Jen to make a fool of herself during her presentation of "the internet" at the shareholders meeting... only to be disappointed when they discover that the shareholders are all just as computer illiterate as she is and eat the whole thing up.
  • The end of "Friendface", where a series of events involving Jen pretending to have a husband to impress an old classmate at a reunion and Roy trying to get out of a date with an old girlfriend who has trouble letting him go collides together, with Jen, Moss and Roy somehow ending up acting out an impromptu romantic confrontation straight from a soap opera in front of Jen's entire reunion.
  • From the episode Calendar Girls:
    Jen: What kind of man would want to look at pictures of naked women?!
    Roy: The kind who wants to help people, Jen!

Series 4

  • EIFFEL TOWER!
  • In "Jen the Fredo", Jen works Roy like a pimp working a nervous prostitute in order to keep him from leaving the role-playing game.
  • Tnetennba
  • Four words: A fire at Sea Parks. The entire b-plot of Roy's obsession with finding out exactly how the hell someone could die in a fire at a Sea Parks of all places is easily one of the funniest bits in the whole show.
    • There's a moment of perfectly placed awkwardness after Roy reveals that his girlfriend's parents died at a Sea Parks where Moss and Jen — equally confused as Roy — try to find out more details while simultaneously trying not to step on any toes. When she tells him that it's a weird place for it to have happened, he almost sound relieved that he isn't crazy when he replies "It's a very weird place!"
    • Roy's reaction when Jen asks if his girlfriend might have been lying. "Why would she lie? And if she was going to lie, why would she use this one? A fire at a Sea Parks?! It's wrecking my head! I mean if... if she had said that her parents had drowned I'd be the happiest man in the world!"
      • If you watch the scene closely Katherine Parkinson starts to break when Moss talks about how he "lived at Sea Parks" while on holiday and when he says that it's the "funnest, wettest, most splish splashy place in the world!"
    • This exchange when Roy's girlfriend catches him researching this on her laptop.
    Girlfriend: What are you doing?
    Roy: Masturbating.
    • The relief on Roy's face that she thinks he's using her laptop "just" to look at porn instead of the Sea Parks website.
    • Roy going a bit "Close Encounters mad" with the Sea Parks dilemma, courtesy of a generous serving of mashed potato and some gravy.
      • He finally manages to figure out how the fire was caused by using a model Sea Park made of matchsticks. The sheer glee as he finally, finally figures out how it could have logically happened At least until he realizes that his desk is burning down.
    • Moss climbing into a claw machine and giving birth to an iPhone... then being stuck there all night after Jen forgot about him.
    "These toys may smell of wee come the morn."
  • "Bad Boys" gives us this.
    • The software for the bomb disposal robot crashing, with Roy and Moss being forced to give tech support to the bomb technician operating it while standing right next to the bomb.
      • "What operating system does it use?" "Windows Vista!" "We're going to die!!!"
    • The Fake-Out Make-Out from season 3 appears again as a magnificent Brick Joke when Moss, believing that they are about to be arrested for shoplifting, swoops in for another kiss, causing Roy to hiss "That's not going to work this time!"
  • "Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?"
    • Goth To Boss!
    • Moss, to a Judge: "Thank you, my love".

The Internet is Coming

  • Roy's Butt-Monkey status reaches ridiculous levels in the finale. He receives horrible coffee from a midget barista, has a noxious concoction burning his eyes when he's supposed to cry at his girlfriend's father's funeral, gets dumped by her and reaches infamy as the guy who pushed the barista into a van with tits (don't ask).
  • The second coffee scene in the Final Episode. The first one involved Jen casually flirting with the hunky Italian barista who creates her face in her coffee, along with exciting music and facial close-ups. However, when Jen brings Roy along and asks for one to be made for him, the scene repeats - except that the music becomes severely distorted as the barista suffers a HeroicBSOD as he becomes confused between Roy and Jen's features. The end result is not pretty.
    • It is this incident that leads to both Jen tossing the coffee over a tramp, a dwarf barista being angered by Roy to the point of running into a van. With breasts.
      • And then it goes viral.
  • Douglas on The Secret Millionaire, in a Regency-era suit with a powdered wig.
    Douglas: Check your privilege!
  • Jen revealing that she still has "the Internet", and Roy realising he and Moss never told her the truth about it.

Unsorted

  • This:
    Douglas: Good God.
    Jen: Mr Reynholm?
    Douglas: You looked exactly like Melissa there.
    Jen: Melissa?
    Douglas: My wife. She died.
    Jen: Oh, poor you. That's terrible.
    Douglas: There's not a day goes past that I don't think of her. I'll never forget our final moments.
    Woman's voice in Douglas' head: Help me! My husband's trying to kill me!
  • When Roy is talking about his phone, he accidentally calls his mother. If you listen, you can hear her asking "Hello?" in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Roy talking in a falsetto.
  • "You wouldn't shoot a policeman, and then steal his helmet! You wouldn't go to the toilet in it! You wouldn't mail it to the policeman's grieving widow, and then steal it again!"
  • Not technically within the show, but Richard Ayoade's 2014 BAFTA acceptance speech for Male Performance in a Comedy Programme certainly counts, due to his very un-Moss-like shyness and deadpan sense of humor. (Veers into Crowning Moment of Heartwarming when he thanks his wife "for more than everything.")
    So I hope this serves as an inspiration to other nasal men with no facial expression or emotional range.
  • The DVD menus of the first two seasons are drawn and animated as parodies of many retro games.

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