Funny / SomecallmeJohnny: Livestreams

Go back to SomecallmeJohnny Funny.

• During a test stream, Johnny gets horribly lost in the Hot Coco secret area. He decides to instate "Twitch Plays Crash 3" mode, and looks to the chat for what he should do. Cue start9. Realizing it will not work, he goes back to playing the game himself... and finds the last crates immediately after.

Sonic Hacking Contests

2014

• Christopher Walken in the Sonic Hacking Contest
• This year brings us Sonic the Very Useful Engine, a game that replaces various objects with a Thomas & Friends face. The guys (Nathan especially) cannot wrap their minds around it.
  • This one line from Johnny sums up everyone's thoughts on the hack quite accurately:
  Johnny: Thomas is everywher—*sees a Spring Yard Thomas-nik* HOLY SHIT! That—that is both badass and disturbing.
  • Friday's replay adds some easter eggs to the mix (aside from Miley Cyrus on the wrecking ball boss, already shown Wednesday), such as Star Light Zone Act 2's Incredible Hulk background music. The highlight of them all was Labyrinth Zone's drowning music (the Mos Eisley Cantina theme), leaving the group in stitches.
  • Elliot plays Sonic 2: Omochao Edition.
  • At the end of playing Sonic: Into the Void, the score for the time bonus glitches out when they enter a giant ring, giving them an astronomical (read: never-ending) time bonus.
  • Johnny's rap over the fact that one hack has two Eggman:
  Johnny: You get a load of this! You get a load of that! Get a load of this, or get a load of that! You can get a load of this, or maybe some of that!
  Elliot!Sonic: You get a load of this because you are so fat!
  • This amazing line from Elliot:
  Elliot: I sure hope a block doesn't fall on me...
  *cue hundreds of intentionally placed blocks creating an Advancing Wall of Doom*
• This part from day 4. While showcasing the STH2006 Project Demo (a mod that recreates Sonic '06 in Sonic Generations) with the BrainScratch crew, Johnny asks if everyone is ready for "Original the Chaos ^note (Do Not Steal)" when starting the Iblis boss fight, which causes Ted (aka ExandShadow) to start ranting about how Iblis in Sonic '06 was pretty much just a recolor of Chaos. It's cut short when he sees that the hack's version of Iblis is indeed a recolor of the Perfect Chaos boss in Generations. Ted's reaction is priceless.
  Ted: Wait. Oh my...I was joking! I was joking!
  Ryan(Nayrman): Don't care, works better.

2015

• 2015's hacking contest showcases CrazySonic, a hack that mixes Sonic with Crazy Bus.
  Johnny: Rolling around at the speed of bus!
  • This isn't even mentioning everything else the hack offers, from "420BLAZEIT" mode ^note The game's color palette switches through all the colors of the rainbow at a somewhat fast pace, causing Johnny to tell everyone to shrink the video window to John Cena menu music to Hong Kong '97.
• And then there was Sonic 1: Burned Edition, where killing any Caterkillers caused the game to glitch out and eventually crash. Hilarity (via truckloads of panic) ensues.
  Johnny: Watch out, it's Satan! *Caterkiller leaves its separate body segments in midair* A-And he drops STOOL!
• On the next hack, he goes to a a zone...and instantly gets killed by a Caterkiller. His reaction is priceless.

2016

• Day 1, by pure chance, managed to get most of the joke hacks out of the way in one session alone:
  • Pepsi in Sonic 1. Said game has Johnny's "Amiibo face" as the wrecking ball.
  • The Radical Ralakimus Hack Pack (Wow!) is also a goldmine of hilarity. Standout moments:
    • "Come on and join the fun and join the fun and join the fun and join the fun and join the fun and join the fun..." *Passes goal post* You did not have fun.
    • Crazy Sonic 2 has a massive assortment of logos, only to end on a screen with Sanic, a bus with eyes, and a Caterkiller with the text "No Memes" scrolling by. According to a note in the corner, not even Thomas 2.
    • The Art Gallery and the secret games, one of the latter being Sonic in Windows 95. It's as glitchy as you'd expect, with lopsided physics, loops not functioning and platforms moving one direction only (before disappearing).
  • Knuckles' "Red Sonic" identity crisis. ^Context One hack added Tails and Knuckles to Sonic the Hedgehog Pocket Adventure (his Neo Geo Pocket Color outing). Knuckles' sprites were not finished fully, resulting in a red-hot Sonic at times, including the entire Special Stage.
    Devin: "Not enough rings". Oh well, I guess I'll turn back into Knuckles.
  • Donnie the Chao is a funny homage to one of the commentators. But then...
    • Meme Zone is a standout section in itself, with warped red, green and blue backgrounds and Donnie turning into Sanic for a section. The boss? The decapitated head of Hong Kong '97.
    • The sound that plays every time Donnie (or, in Meme Zone, Sanic) dies? NOOT NOOT!
  • Ending Day 1 is Eggmanland in Sonic Generations, which features Johnny freaking out over the horribly glitched coaster section. Mr. Hog's Wild Ride, anyone?
    Johnny: Sonic! Keep your feet inside the car at all times!
    Johnny (Later, Broken/Somewhat Deadpan): Daddy? Where do I put the quarter? Daddy, it has a mind of it's own! Father, I am no longer in control of the roller coaster!
    Intruder #2 (SuperEgg): You're doing it! You're playing a Sonic game!
• In Pikachu The Mouse, the music at one point flatlines. The reactions are humorous. Also, one of the commutators points out that the Pikachu's head reminded him of a horrible porn parody of Pikachu. Cue common reactions.
• "Powerpoint in a Gimp Suit".
• In Sonic Halloween, the backstory of the Devil possessing Eggman to turn him into Devil Eggman immediately goes into Narm territory, due to bringing up an easily-missed pun: Deviled Eggman.
• The religion of Sandwich, brought up after hearing a hidden clip of Knuckles saying "Sandwich?" in Knuckles' Emerald Hunt.

  Nathan: In the name of Bread, Cheese, and the Holey Crust.

  • Topped off with a nice raid to ProtonJon after the stream!
• While testing a hack that simply inverts the stage along the horizontal axis, somehow Johnny turns into Super Sonic in the middle of the stage and flying off the rails so hard Sonic breaks the map. Twice.
• Johnny's silent but hilarious reaction to the request of a Sonic Labyrinth hack.
• In the same hack, we also get this wonderful bit of rage as John is trying to reach a spring that Tails can reach, but Sonic cannot due to the terrible physics.

  Johnny: STOP LAUGHING GODDAMNIT! JESUS CHRIST! THAT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY!

• The whole "Cool Ranch Soda" ordeal. Ranch burp, disgusting thoughts, and weird flavors. One viewer sums it up perfectly:

  Megachamp:*Vomiting Intensifies*

• COCANE THE HEDGEHOG
• Sonic next Genesis, much like it's Source Material, is very, very unfinished, resulting loads of glitchy sprites and empty levels. Even the score isn't safe.
• Johnny introducing everyone to SilvaGunner's version of "Open Your Heart", among other songs. The reactions are priceless.
  • Later, in Day 5. This played during the break.
    "I searched and I searched and I searched and I searched and I searched and I searched and..."
  • And the ending: THUNDER, RAIN AND LIGHTNING
• Infinite Trees Zone.
• Anytime Johny makes Big or Eggman in areas they're not supposed to be in.
  • Eggman, in case you're wondering, is DEBUG MODE, allowing him to fly around. Hilarity Ensues.
    "I HAVE TRANSCENDED THE BOUNDARIES OF EXISTENCE!"
  • Eggman goes for a stroll through Sky Deck, oblivious to the constant explosions.
    Johnny: Dum-de-dum, everything here seems to be operating normally!
  • Big in the Pinball Tables... ALL OF IT.
  • Eggman in SUPER SONIC. The cut-scenes are something straight out of a hilarious corruption.
  • Super Sonic manages to escape the boundaries of Emerald Coast, with the explanation being he was high.
    Johnny as Sonic: I'm Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog! I think I'd better lay off the cocaine, I don't have any memory of last night and I woke up with a dick drawn on my cheek...
• One of the game's backstories starts with Sonic trying to stop the Cold War by going to WWII to stop Eggman.
• Sonic Labyrinth 2.
• Apparently, some sadistic, unloving, cold-hearted bastard made a mod which only contains Metropolis with more Slicers... Oh, and it's UNDERWATER. Did Tails Doll enter in this contest or something? Either way. It was hilarious.
• The ending of 137E0 Action 1 Steak.

  YOU ARE BAD END

  PLAY GAME AGAIN

  [beat]

  YOU ARE WASTE TIME!

2017

• Due to yet another red Sonic hack, the contest is said by Johnny's guests to be run by Mattel. This leads to a whole slew of jokes about Mattel monetizing the stream just from the mention of the name.
• A Day 1 hack has an entire level falling apart around Johnny.
• Day 1 also features a Sonic 3 hack where, at one point, Johnny spent five minutes in one spot because he wanted to explore — and because he kept missing his jump. One can almost hear Ryan saying "You could just go".
• When Nathan finally joins during Day 2, he spends about 20 minutes being incredibly confused as everyone else brings him up to speed about the previous day.
• One of the last hacks of Day 2 (Day 2 was cut short due to Johnny suffering from a severe headache) is yet another Sonic 1 hack, only the boss is not just the first boss from Sonic 1, but is joined by two other wrecking balls that keep hitting Johnny. Johnny wants to beat the boss out of principle alone, he keeps loading up a save state until he finally beats the boss, only to die when one of the other wrecking balls hits him before he can break the animal capsule. Johnny is, of course, pissed, but everyone else is laughing their asses off.
• Part 3 features a Sonic 2 hack that, allegedly, fixed over 100 bugs within the game. 20 seconds into the first act of Emerald Hill, Johnny already manages to clip through a ceiling.
• Day 3 is when they got into the joke hacks. The very first one has Johnny attempting to use some bumpers to get up a vertical shaft only to encounter a poorly placed Slicer, and after the boss is defeated, Sonic just dies. And then there's the end title card which reads "And then Sonic died, LOL, Fuck you!!"
• Tickle Me Johnny.
• Johnny has a lot of fun with Hyper Sonic in Sonic 1, but then he gets to the final boss.
  Johnny: EGGMAN! YOUR EYES! THEY'RE GOING HYPER!
• Day 4 has a Sonic Lost World hack that replaces Sonic with a giant snowball. Hilarity ensues.

2018

• Day 3 is full of funny moments:
  • After completing the Sonic Eclipse demo, we get treated to the 8-Bit Sonic 2 credits sequence, with Johnny lamenting letting Tails die. However, even Donnie spoiling that the Tails constellation is not in the sky at the very end doesn't take away from what is up there: Sans from Undertale
  • Johnny is told about an Easter Egg in Cthulu's Island, and to listen for an audio cue to start looking for it. That audio cue? "What could possibly go wrong?!" much to Johnny's disdain. However, when he does find the Easter Egg, it turns out to be a lynched Bubsy the Bobcat, leading to jokes about how something actually did go wrong.
• Sonic Generations: Virtual Boy Edition
• One Sonic Adventure 2 hack has everyone's heads attached to Rouge's body.
• Day 5 brings us Johnny and Elliot's multiplayer mayhem.

2019

• Chat tortures poor Johnny in "Chat vs. Sonic Mania" (a sort of Sonic Mania Crowd Control hack) that when the game decides its had enough (i.e. crashes), not only does Johnny take off his headset, he LEAVES THE ROOM AND COMES BACK AND TAKES A SHOT OF VODKA ON STREAM to drink his suffering away.

2020

• One of the mods showcased in Day 1 is little more than literally just Doom ported directly onto Sonic Mania, much to Johnny and co.'s surprise and amusement.
• At the beginning of day 4, Donny apologizes in advance for any rumbling or loud noises that his mic might pick up (It seems the wind was rattling his roof very badly) — but before he can finish the sentence, there's an explosion of noise that sounds like his house blew up. Matt and Johnny immediately crack up.
  Johnny: Whelp, there goes Donny.
  Matt: (reading the chat) "Matt farted." No, not yet...
• On the last day, Johnny plays a mod which inserts Sonic from Sonic Adventure into Bob-omb Battlefield from Super Mario 64. Johnny quickly discovers that not only does Sonic absolutely break the level with his spin-dash, but there's no enemies or obstacles at all anywhere in the level. Playing around, Johnny finds that off in the distance, the remains of Emerald Coast (The first level in Sonic Adventure, which the mod apparently placed Bob-omb Battlefield inside) can be seen. Johnny tries to spin-dash onto the remains of the other level... only to find the one enemy that remained: the orca from Emerald Coast leaps out of the water as Johnny passes, shocking everyone into startled yells.

2021

• At the end of Session 12 of Johnny's Sonic Heroes All-Emblem Run, Johnny's co-commentator Ben plays a clip of Tom Hanks's infamous laughing fit from the film The Money Pit. This is funny enough, but then someone in the chat comments that the rhythmic gasping that starts the laugh sounds like the beginning of "One-Winged Angel." Cue everyone laughing even harder and Johnny immediately demanding an edit.

2022

• On Day 2, during a mod that puts Super Mario into Sonic 3...
  Donny: Man, you know what this reminds me of?
  Johnny: What?
  Donny: A cease and desist.
  Johnny, cracking up: Jesus Christ, when did the fun police get here?!
• On the final day, Johnny's playing a Sonic Adventure DX mod that throws random effects and items at the player throughout the game, even during cutscenes. During one cutscene, Dr. Eggman shouts "Silence!" at Sonic as part of his usual dialogue... and for the next random effect, the sound cuts out entirely.
  Johnny: That was PERFECT!
  • Later, the same mod spawns a speed booster directly under Sonic during a cutscene. As a result, immediately after Eggman summons Chaos, Sonic unexpectedly bolts off in a random direction, sending Johnny into hysterics.
  Johnny: Sonic was like "Oh shit, I gotta get outta here! That thing scares me!"

Hangin' Out

• During the sampler session (with Ryan and Ted), John plays Mega Man X, and the guys take a moment to mock the Miiverse function of the Wii U.
  Ryan: What's this screen with the number for?
  Ryan: How do I get up this wall?
  Ted: What's this girl?
• Ryan and Ted constantly mock John for failing Storm Eagle.
  Ryan: Will you or will you not die to Storm Eagle?
  John: That's not the plan.

Final Fantasy VII

• Johnny "honors Matt's wishes" during the stream and names Aerith "Goddammit". The way the game's text boxes are aligned up (or just Johnny reading the text including the phrase) has Johnny giggling during the rest of the live stream sporadically. Of course, this leads to the only possible reaction to Aerith's death scene.
• Johnny's reaction to the Highwind. "Barret, I want one."
• During Session 16, Nathan begins sharing the heights of all the characters of Final Fantasy VII. When he gets to Aerith, he lists her height as "6 feet under".
• Johnny decides to play around in the Gold Saucer before saving the world. This includes the Battle Arena. At one point, a Ghost Ship appears. Before Johnny can throw an Elixer and one-shot the thing, it grabs Johnny and throws him out of the battle, leading to this exchange:
  Johnny: No! No! Nononononononononononononono!
  Nathan (laughing the whole time): And away he goes!
  • Johnny leaves for a bit afterwards to vent, and you can still hear him yelling "Fuck you, Ghost Ship! I hate you!"

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

• During Session 7, Nathan talks about how excited he gets whenever John does a review of a game both are familiar with and John's opinion lines up with his own. The chat begins joking that John and Nathan are actually the same people, and Nathan begins wondering what horrible things would happen should the two touch. John asks if they are indeed two halves to one person, what their combination name would be, and Nathan replies "Jonathan" without batting an eye. John suddenly agrees they are one.

EarthBound (1994)

• The opening image of the game looks straight from a 50s sci-fi movie. As such, Johnny uses a newscaster's voice to read off the text on the screen. Also:
  Nathan: This is EarthBound!
  Johnny: Brought to you by the letter B!
  • Nathan setting up the options:
  Nathan: Um, start new game... text speed, fast... stereo... I prefer banana flavor...
  Johnny: (Beat) ...huh?
• The names for Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo: Iwata, Peach, Dumas, and... Poo.
• John's increasing bemusement at the game's tone, not helped at all by Nathan's blunt descriptions of what's happening.
• Poking fun at EarthBound's rarity:
  Buzz-Buzz: Where I am from, there is a well-known legend that has been handed down from ancient times...
  Johnny: It says, "This game will be fucking expensive."
• In regards to the Minch family:
  Nathan: Their family is dicks.
  • For that matter, there's Johnny's reaction towards Lardna:
  Johnny: Holy mother of clown!
• Frank. He has two knives, as Johnny will remind you.
  Johnny: A kid has no business fighting Frank!
  Nathan: Hey, John, you wanna know the worst part? After this, we get jumped by five police officers.
  Johnny: *sighs* For- for protection, right?
  • Frank said something nasty! "You're an accident, Ness!" "Ohhh!"
• Nathan spots a Coil Snake.
  Nathan: Hey, snake!
  Johnny (as Snake): Yeah?
  (Because Ness is a high-enough level, the battle immediately concludes)
  Nathan: I win.
  Johnny (as Snake): Oh.
• Near the beginning of Session 2:
  Johnny: What do we expect to get done today for Session 2?
  Nathan: Um, fight the blue KKK, get our second party member—
  Johnny: Woah, slow down, slow down!
  • "Wait, so Shadow Mario is blue KKK?!"
• Ness learns Paralysis, which Johnny jokes to mean that he's suddenly become paralyzed.
• "Mr. Carpainter wants a girl."
• Heckling the Runaway Five performance.
  Johnny: That's it? They walk backwards? They get paid money for this shit?!
  Nathan: Apparently not, 'cuz they're ten thousand dollars in debt!
  Johnny: What?! Oh, that's just how much money we got-- aww, fuck, I know where this is going...
• During the fight against Giygas, Dumas gets confused... and shoots himself in the face with the Heavy Bazooka. Nathan's reaction is wonderful.

Sonic Adventure - All Emblems

• While playing as Sonic, Johnny of course shows off the "Drunk Sonic" glitch during the first fight with Eggman.^note Where you hit Eggman during his explosion animation after losing your rings; in lieu of Sonic's victory animation, he'll instead go into his death animation despite the game registering that you won the boss fight
• There are a lot more bugs and glitches that prompt Johnny to come up with the Twitter tag #FuckDX
• Battle Axe Amy and Morning Commute Gamma. That is all.
• While going for the emblems for Big, Johnny finds himself in the water section of Ice Cap. The water physics glitch out, making it so that Big SOMETIMES swims and other times walks like he's on land. Nathan decides that Big is a god.
  • Added on to that, after getting a lure power up, Big spins up up and away!
• Omnipotent Big.
• "It was in my ass!" — John Ortiz, 2018
• John trying to raise a Chao.^note John has stated that he never bothered to play the Chao Garden before.
• Tails stealing a rocket during a stage that has a time limit.

Kingdom Hearts - Lv. 1 Proud Mode

• After finally beating the Trickmaster in Wonderland, Johnny realizes that he had obtained an accessory called Brave Warrior from Traverse Town (which would have increased his strength by 1), only to forget to equip it.
• At the start of Session #4, Johnny introduces a soundboard, for keeping track of deaths and successes. The former sound?
  *Ding Ding* Yah-hoo-hoo-hooey!^note The Goofy yell.
• Johnny's many attempts to defeat the Pot Centipede in Session #4. It took fifty minutes, doubled his death count^note Going from twenty to forty, and sent him into pure rage.
• At one point in Agrabah, Johnny finds one of the Torn Pages for Pooh's storybook. Cue Matt spamming "POOH BREAK!" in the chat.
  Co-Commentator: (reading chat comments) Why would there be a Pooh break? There's no bathrooms in Disney!
• While fighting through the Cave of Wonders, Aladdin starts to do a special attack while proclaiming "Here I come!", only to get hit immediately afterwards, resulting in a grunt of pain; needless to say, this ends up sounding like something else. Johnny has to pause the game because he's laughing so hard.
• Three hours were spent in Atlantica, most of that on Ursula. The rage was almost palpable.
  • When Johnny finally beats Ursula, he follows it with chugging an entire bottle of beer on stream.
• While making his way through the bonus bosses, Johnny accidentally summons Bambi at one point. Cue everyone turning BAAAYMBI into the resident Memetic Badass.

The Legend of Zelda - Second Quest

• Johnny's incredibly bad luck during the Money Making Game:
  Johnny: "You lied to me, chat! I lost ten rupees!"

  Johnny: "Okay, there's no way it can be the same one twice."
  *Loses another ten rupees*
  Johnny: "Fuck you, you lied to me again, chat!"

  Johnny: "Law of averages dictates that I'm gonna be right eventua-"
  *Loses forty rupees*
  Johnny: "I LOST MORE RUPEES!"

Platformania/Fund the Charity Room streams

• Johnny had to do Mega Man & Bass run on Game Boy Advance using Mega Man as part of the incentive... sure enough, his sanity was slipping away at some moments. Some highlights include:
  • Just the mere fact that Cold Man jumped to collide with Mega Man was enough to prompt the bewildered "HE CAN MOVE?!" from Johnny.
    • Even King gives him the same shit later on.
      Johnny: WHAT ARE YOU- STOP! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?! WHY'D YOU CHANGE YOUR STRATS SUDDENLY?! STOP THAT!!!
  • Him discovering that Spread Drill is detrimental in the auto-scrolling part of Tengu Man's stage.
    Johnny: Oh, THE DRILLS POP THE BALLOONS! Oh... I mean that makes sense when you think about it... but FUCK!
  • On several occassions, he yells "Get the fuck off me!" while being dogpiled by little circus robots.
  • Dynamo Man's recharging makes the fight a whole lot harder.
    Johnny: No! No! NO! NO! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU! DYNAMO!!!
    Clement: I take it the fight is going well?
    Johnny: NO, IT'S NOT! HE JUST GOT FUCKING ALL OF HIS HEALTH BACK!!!
  • During one of battles against King Tank (the first boss of King Stage 2), he was waiting for the tank to open the top hatch. The realization of why it wasn't happening comes later.
    Johnny: Oh, did I kill the top part?
    Ryan: Yeah.
    Johnny: Is that why it's not opening? AM I WASTING MY FUCKING TIME BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE THE GODDAMN THING?!
  • During the first encounter with King himself, Johnny acts way too soon and wastes Lightning Bolt's ammo.
    Clement: The winning move at the beginning is to not play! (everyone chuckles) No really, you're wasting your weapon energy!
    Johnny: WHY, CAUSE THE FUCKING SHIELD- I forgot about how the damn shield works!
    Clement: You're waiting for Proto Man to show up.
    Johnny: THAT'S RIGHT!!! WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!
  • "I have a good feeling about this one!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
    • While defeating King Jet for the umpteenth time...
      Clement: I have a good feeling about this one.
      Johnny: Shshshshshsh- okay. He died before you finished that sentence!
  • The last meeting with King.
    Johnny: Dormammu... I've come to bargain!
    Derrick: Oh, that's a bad sign!
  • During grinding in Wily Stage, Johnny makes a shocking discovery...
    (while shooting the worm enemies) They drop EXTRA LIIIIIVES?!
  • As Johnny gets blindsided by a penguin dropping from above: "WHAT... THE FLYING SHIT IS THAT?!"
    Derrick: Surprise, motherfucker!

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - World of Light

• "HEY KIDS, WANNA SEE THE ENDING TO INFINITY WAR?!"

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