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Funny / RWBY Recaps

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Being what is essentially an Abridged Series of an already funny series, this recap series is bound to have its fair share of humor as well.

List the examples in a chronological order, if possible.

    open/close all folders 

    Volume 1 
  • Chapter 1:
    • This exchange:
    Ozpin: You have silver eyes.
    Ruby: You have cookies. Let's negotiate.
    • The tragic saga of Roman and his cane, Stevey.

  • Chapter 2:
    • The title: "BLAKE BLAKE BLAKE BLAKE BLAKE BLAKE BLAKE (and other people appeared too, sure)"
    • "BUT YANG, THE SHINYS"
    • "Yang, in an effort to get Ruby to make friends, throws her sister headfirst into the water and abandons her to hang out with the Village People."
    • The Sassy Walk-Away Thunderdome 2013:
    Blake: "A." Sultry, yet she's leaving so that's depressing.
    Weiss: "A+." Attitude-y, yet graceful, like an intoxicated swan.

  • Chapter 3:
    • Jaune informs Weiss of his status as a natural blonde slightly differently and more inappropriately.
    Weiss: I miss rich people.

  • Chapter 4:
    • Jaune showing off his puppetry skills to get Weiss to join his team:
    Jaune: MY HANDPUPPET WILL IMPRESS YOU!
    Weiss: (facepalming) No, it won't.
    Jaune: HIS NAME IS HADDOCK!
    Weiss: (facepalming intensifies) Oh my Dust.

  • Chapter 5:
    • The saga of the "Birdie no!" Bird.
    • Ozpin grades students on their landing strategies.
      • Ruby: "She killed that evil bird and so saved the world. The rest was adequate. B, I suppose."
      • Weiss: "D, for deal with it. Sincerely, a commoner."
      • Pyrrha: "Killed nine squirrels and a nest of baby birds while destroying those trees. A, because I approve."
      • Jaune: "Oh, he lived. F, because now I'm down twenty lien."
    • And then he comments on partnerships.

  • Chapter 6:
    • Lie Ren is so hardcore that he once killed two stones with one bird.
    • [OFFSCREEN SLOTH CALL]
    • Pyrrha Nikos: Will give away soul on first date.
    • "And now for the best word I've ever created:"
    Jaune: I am becoming very auraoused.

  • Chapter 7:
    • The entire thing is done in rhyme. It must be seen to be believed.

  • Chapter 8:
    • Nora and Ren's Ursa ride...did not end well.
    Ursa: I'M GOING HOME TO MOTHER ENGLAND NOW, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
    Nora: I WANT MY MONEY BACK, YOU HUSSY!
    Ren: Why do all our adventures end with her yelling that?

  • Chapter 9:
    • Weiss believes the previous day was All Just a Dream... then Ruby blows a whistle in her ear.
    Weiss: OH DUST IT WASN'T A DREAM AND MY REALITY SUUUCCKS
    • Communist!RWBY. Weiss disapproves, because that means commoners are equal in status to her.
    • [UNSUBTLE VISUAL ANALOGY FOR THE END RESULT OF COMMUNIST POLICIES HERE]
    Yang: The regime was cursed from the beginning! I knew we shoulda sacrificed Weiss to Stalin's ghost.
    • Port defies the Running Gag of random things being given names, because randomly naming things is just silly. Naturally, this offends Roman, because he's still sore about his cane Stevey.

  • Chapter 10:
    • Weiss drops all pretense of not being after a Klingon Promotion, only to learn that everyone who's names start with R are before her in the lineup for leadership of team RWBY. Including Roman Torchwick.
    Ruby: Keepin' the RWBY name going y'know.
    • This exchange:
    Weiss: I want to crush everyone as if they were ants beneath my heel.
    Port: Ahh, being a teenager is a magical time.
    • Yang has a wet dream about Jaune in his onesie. And immediately regrets it.

  • Chapter 11:
    • Glynda gives no fucks:
    "I only once knew a student as bad as Jaune is, and it was a robot programmed to be the worst student ever, and even he managed to rise up and kill three kids."
    • Nora's suggestion on how to deal with Cardin manages to be even more bloodily hilarious than the original.

  • Chapter 12:
    • Weiss is still horribly racist.
    Velvet: Yesterday someone tried to cut off my foot to make a lucky charm.
    Weiss: Pfft. It was for science.
    • [JUDGMENTAL SIP OF COFFEE]

  • Chapter 13:
    • Pyrrha is sad from her fallout with Jaune, so Nora reminds her that she still has her and Ren.
    Pyrrha: Last week you got me a dead Beowolf.
    Nora: It was a present! Ren got one too last week.
    Ren: to be fair, it was actually one of the more thoughtful birthday presents nora's got me.

  • Chapter 14:
    • Weiss is about to reveal to Ruby that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real, when Pyrrha intervenes.
    Weiss: (to Ruby) Oh, you adorable little teacup, lemme explain to you some things—
    Pyrrha: Weiss, your P-Money commands you not to destroy any dreams.

  • Chapter 15:
    • "Haven't seen Weiss this happy since that busful of orphans crashed."
    Weiss: I did love hearing their screams on the news, it's true.
    • "This kinda stuff never happened on Judge Judy, yo."
    • Blake bemoaning the fact that she will now be the target of many cat puns, while her newly uncovered ears happily shout about their freedom.
    • "This tea is not strong enough for the shiz I'm about to reveal."

  • Chapter 16:
    • "The moment of clarity comes with tumbleweed, as all do."
    Tumbleweed: I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL! WRREECCKKKKIINNNGG BAAAAAALLLLLL!
    • "I swear by the strands of my perf hair I will not let Weiss pick out a collar that doesn't match Blake's outfit."
    • Roman's return to the season. "I'M BACK AND I'VE GOT STEVEY MARK TWO, BITCHNOZZLES!"
    • [AWAITING NUCLEAR WEISSPLOSION]

    Volume 2 
  • Chapter 1:
    • "JAUNE, YOU USELESS HETEROSEXUAL"
    • Mama Cinder is not pleased with Mercury and Emerald.
    Cinder: Do you know that we don't have Germany in this world? So why are you two acting like I was speaking German this whole time and somehow ordered you to kill that guy?!
    • "Cinder then spins back around to Roman, who’s been making faces at Emerald and Mercury this whole time, like a real adult."

  • Chapter 2:
    • This:
    Ironwood: Glynda scares me.
    Ozpin: Glynda scares all of us.
    • "Now, okay, let's stop measuring our egos. Mine's this big, btw...Ladies."
    • "And the final capper on this humorous scene is Nora, dispensing wisdom beyond her years or something."
    Nora: BITCHES BE CRAZY
    Ren: Nora no
    • "Sandwiches?"

  • Chapter 3:
    • Weiss tries to make her codename "the Queen" AKA Matt's nickname for Blake. Everyone else decides on Fartface McGee instead.
    • Ironwood speech when he's about to unveil the Paladin.
    Ironwood: Now I couldn't be here in person on account of the high possibility of these machines turning on humanity and horrifically murdering us all.
    Spectators: [Mild applause]
    Ironwood: Why would you applaud that? What is this, an Apple press conference?
    • Ruby reacts to Penny being a robot:
    Ruby: So Blake's a cat person and you're a robot person. I swear to god if Weiss turns out to be an actual shark person, I'm gonna flip.
    (cut to Weiss humming the Jaws theme to herself)

  • Chapter 4:
    • "Well, this whole lead turned out to be deader than Ruby's mother."
    • "SOMEONE FETCH ME MY PUPPETS!"

  • Chapter 5:
    • Glynda continues to give absolutely zero fucks.
    "As a teacher, I should be impartial and encouraging, but damn, son, you got your ass kicked. Miss Nikos, if today has taught us anything, it's that if you were a supervillain, no one could stop you."
    "Oh, my, Mercury...If you weren't my student I would devastate your entire pelvic existence."
    Yang: And you need to do it before you enter the next stage of sleep deprivation which is transformation into Jeff Goldblum!
    Blake: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
    Yang: Oh, no, it's starting; Blake, please come back to us!

  • Chapter 6:
    • This exchange:
    Sun: I was just going to suggest that this dance needs Blake to make it better and I could use my abs to help convince her. It's worked before.
    Ruby: Well, it's either that or we use Weiss's idea of luring her with a can of tuna.
    • "It's a hug. I'm hugging you. Just enjoy it, you sad Kit Kat."
    • Weiss's idea of how to court a potential date:
    Weiss: So basically you're perfect for a new master race and so, hey, why not go to the dance with me and we can make plans to repopulate?
    Neptune: Bit strong for a first date but I can dig it.
    Jaune: (spying) I swear I watched a porno that started like this once...

  • Chapter 7:
    Ozpin: PUNCH FOR ERRYBODY!
    Glynda: Yeah, I'll punch you, all right.
    Ozpin: If anyone gets knocked up tonight, I own like half the babies.
    • Cinder likes her phases:
    Cinder: Now entering Phase Two, Subphase 9.4: Killin' some fools and lookin' fine as hell while doing so.
    • [POTATO INTENSIFIES]
    • Ruby lures Cinder out of hiding by calling "Marco!" Cinder cannot resist responding with, "Polo!"
    Cinder: Dammit, Cinder.

  • Chapter 8:
    Ruby: Okay, I can't leave Zwei here alone, he'll rack up our phone bill by calling sex chat lines.
    Zwei: One time. One. Time.
    • Roman Torchwick has now been singing "Kokomo" behind the scenes for at least two episodes.

  • Chapter 9:
    • "Ahh, five-Grimm bowling...My second favorite sport, behind the peasant lava 'n' piranha 200-meter medley."

  • Chaper 10:
    • Yang won't go to sleep until she gets some Character Development. She asks Weiss and Blake to get in on it too.
    Yang: Let's be honest Weiss, you've got like a long way to go before you become a decent person.
    Weiss: I resent both that statement and your face.

  • Chapter 11:
    • Yang confronting Neo and pointing out their obvious height difference.
    Yang: You're so small I could put you in my pocket. You're like a teacup human.
    • "Shouldn't the sun melt ice cream?! Why am I losing this?!"
    • Raven Branwen being The Terminator.
    Raven: YOU SHALL NOT HARM YANG XIAO CONNOR. PREPARE TO BE TERMINATED.
    Neo: (immediately pulls a Screw This, I'm Outta Here)
    • [ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF RWBY FANS IN THE HIATUS CRYO FREEZING THEMSELVES UNTIL THE NEXT SEASON STARTS]

  • Chapter 12:
    Weiss: Don't bomb me, I'm rich and white!
    • The Ursa Major's reaction to Fox's exploding palm technique:
    This is gonna go right to my thighs.
    [Ursa swells up]
    AND ALSO MY EVERYTHING ELSE!
    Ironwood: He'll come around eventually.
    Ozpin: (from far away in his tower) YOU SUUUCCCCKKKKK!
    [If you look close enough, you can see Ozpin giving Ironwood the middle finger]
    • After Cinder declares that after a season of working on Phase 2 of their plan, they will now be moving on to Phase 2-X.
    Mercury: (to Emerald) Well, hey, at least it's not Phase Potato.
    Cinder: GENIUS.
    Emerald: (looks horrified)
    Mercury: What have we done?
    Mercury: Where were you all this time, anyway?
    Adam: I don't wanna talk about it.

    Volume 3 
  • Chapter 1:
    • "Taiyang Xiao Long is heading out for missions, probably because his girls are off at Beacon and Zwei always beats him at Monopoly."
    • "Looks like Dad's been taking full-body Viagra again."
    • "Heiress Weiss Schnee: In a shocking turn of events, is actually being a useful lesbian."
    • "My father's calling me? Wait until my father hears about this..."
    • Roman's been enjoying his time in jail:
    Roman: As the sole occupant of this prison, I have elected myself the prison king and the prison bitch. I rule.
    • Apparently, Taiyang leaves Zwei in charge of his house and his daughters when he leaves for missions.
    • Cinder is thrown into an existential crisis by a piece of Mercury's popcorn and can't handle it.
    Cinder: Now you will tell me the secrets of the universe! (eats the popcorn) It refused to talk...I must try again.
    Emerald: I miss my bell.

  • Chapter 2:
    • "Please note: This recap is sponsored only by the dankest of memes."
    • As a legitimate battle strategy, Jaune attempts to distract the opposing team with stories of his Hilariously Abusive Childhood.
    Jaune: One summer, my parents left me at an orphanage while they took my sisters on vacation just to let me know what it felt like to be unloved by strangers instead of family.
    Ren: oh, so that's where i know you from.
    • Jaune losing his shit on Team BRNZ when they interrupt Team JNPR's plans for a new world order in which their children rule everything.
    Jaune: YOU'LL STAND FOR WHAT I TELL YOU TO STAND FOR, YOU NECKERCHIEF-WEARING HUSSY, AND I AM TELLING YOU THAT WE ARE USING DIBS RULES! STAND FOR THAT OR I'LL FIND A SHOTGUN TO SHOVE INSIDE YOU SO I CAN CATCH THE BULLETS WITH THE FIST I'VE STUFFED DOWN YOUR THROAT!
    • Sun's reaction to seeing the bright and sunny desert stage:
    Sun: Mommy? Is that you?
    The Sun: Sun Junior, is that you? You've grown so tall and abs-y!

  • Chapter 3:
    • "Professor Ozpin: As drunk as Qrow is, just hides it better."
    • Reno the Reactionary Raven.
    • Apparently Ironwood moonlights as a stand-up comedian. His act is so bad that it managed to turn Qrow sober.
    • Cinder is still plagued by the existential questions Mercury's popcorn put into her head.
    Mercury: You're not going to use that virus to access the government files on the origin of popcorn, are you?
    Cinder: (has a classified file with a picture of popcorn up on her screen)
    Cinder: ...No. What would possibly give you that idea?

  • Chapter 4:
    • [DAMN COCO I USUALLY HAVE TO PAY A GUY TO GATLING GUN MY LAWN]
    • Weiss is still under the belief that her older sister is a vampire.
    Winter: Weiss, why does this tea taste like holy water?
    Weiss: ...No reason?
    • "Speaking of Qrow, we find him and his nieces hanging out much like the Schneeblings, only sans croissants because they are but lowly cookie-eating peasants. Qrow, in an uncomfortable comparison to Charlie Sheen, is winning."

  • Chapter 5:
    • "Can we negotiate terms for our surrender? We are willing to give you Cardin."
    • Weiss's immediate reaction to seeing Neon is to try and figure out how she can make money off of her.
    Weiss: That chick has a rainbow on her! Yang, your job is to get me to the pot of gold at the end of it. Now.
    Port: This may be the stroke talking but there now appears to be four of them.
    Oobleck: I've ingested so much coffee there's always four of everybody. It's a real problem.
    • Upcinder Funk's gonna give it to ya.
    • The one time Ozpin attempts to be serious with Qrow...
    Ozpin: I have called you here on a matter of grave import.
    Qrow: I want to take you seriously but all I can see is the penis chair looking at me.
    Ozpin: >:[
    [Ozpin stayed like this for two hours before he finally turned his chair]
    • "Imagine that, for a moment. Jaune having sex with someone ends the world. Just. Imagine."

  • Chapter 6:
    Pyrrha: What happened to her? Was she attacked?
    Ozpin: No, she tripped and fell into a coma and then into this tube we can't get open.
    • [IT'S ABOUT RIGHT NOW THAT EVERY VIEWER WHO REWATCHES THIS EPISODE IN THE FUTURE WILL REALIZE THIS WAS THE LAST INNOCENT MOMENT. YAY!]
    • "DEAR GOD HERE COME THE DUBSTEP REMIXES"

  • Chapter 7:
    • "R.I.P Marcus Black (V3C7 - V3C7): Professional Assassin. Made Raven Branwen Look Like Parent of the Year."
    • "We'll get our own White Fang! With blackjack! And hookers!"
    • "Wow, I either need to stop drinking or start drinking even more."
    • "R.I.P. Amber's Horse (V3C7 - V3C7): You Were a Better Horse Than Raven Branwen Was a Parent...But That's Not Saying Much."
    • Right after Cinder dramatically sets her swords on fire in front of Adam:
    Cinder: Emmy and Merc, bring out the marshmallows!
    Emerald and Mercury: ...Wait, we were supposed to bring marshmallows?
    Cinder: I didn't rescue either of you off the streets out of the goodwill of my heart, so, yeah, what do you think?
    Cinder: You all performed admirably. Oscars and marshmallows for all. Guys, if I wasn't your commanding officer I'd pick you both up, give you a giant bear hug, and make you call me daddy.
    Emerald and Mercury: ...We would both be entirely okay with that scenario.

  • Chapter 8:
    • Ruby being convinced that Yang is possessed by the devil and requires an exorcism right away.
    Weiss: Ruby, stop being ridiculous. And yes, this is coming from someone with a vampire for a sister.
    • [THIS IS WHAT RICHARD SIMMONS SEES WHEN HE GOES ON ACID TRIPS]
    • In preparing for Yang's exorcism, Ruby calls in Qrow and Roman Torchwick, who has been in prison so long he's discovering religion, as the priests.
    Roman: BLESS YOU, MY CHILD.
    • But according to Qrow, the one who's actually possessed by the devil isn't Yang: it's Raven.
    • "Finding your mother will be hard as all hell because she's basically a roaming legendary Pokemon. Thankfully, I cheated and have 99 Master Balls so catching her should be easy."
    • "She didn’t expect what that destiny would look like, in the end. She didn’t expect that she’d find friendship and love, and that she might have to sacrifice them and get her soul devoured by a hungry hungry Fall Maiden’s soul hippo."
    • Poor Pyrrha's mother did not have high hopes for her daughter's life.
    Pyrrha: Oh, God, I'm going to die alone after getting my soul eaten by a magical girl! Mom was right!
    (Later, after she accidentally uses her Semblance on Jaune)
    Pyrrha: Oh, no, I've used my powers to kill my first love! Mom was right again! (runs away) How did she know these things?!

  • Chapter 9:
    • Pyrrha complaining that her future gravestone spells her name wrong.
    • "R.I.P. Pyrrah "P-Cash" Nikos (V1C3 - V3C9): Went Out Like A Punk Bitch."
    • Cinder's idea of Evil Gloating:
    Cinder: People of Vale, I have won. I have taken from you all everything: your dust, your Laura Bailey, your cute robot girls, and finally, your show's happy tone. And now I have just taken your nighttime rooftop scenes away from Jaune and Pyrrha. Fear me.
    • "Every background character for themselves! Run!"
    • And later, when Qrow and Glynda want to know what Ozpin's plan is:
    Ozpin: It's every penis chair owner for themselves! Run!

  • Chapter 10:
    • People who are shocked at Penny's death.◊
    • Blake blames the whole disaster on her lack of screentime.
    • In this recap, the Nevermore that attacks the stadium is a Grimm ambassador that came in peace. It does not go well.
    Nevermore: OH SWEET GOD, WHY?!
    • Jaune's attempt to comfort Pyrrha over killing Penny:
    Jaune: Dammit, P-Money, pull yourself together. You think you're the only one around here who's accidentally murdered someone? You seen Cardin around lately? No? Exactly.
    • Sage vs Yatsuhashi: The War of Identity
    Yatsuhashi: And who are you?
    Sage: Wassup, I'm Sage.
    Yatsuhashi: I thought I am Sage?
    Sage: ...Then who the hell am I?
    • Oobleck calms Ruby down about the show's supposed Anyone Can Die direction.
    Ruby: You guys can't do this! People actually can die in this series!
    Oobleck: Ms. Rose, Professor Port here has had twelve strokes since I started talking. I'm pretty sure he's immortal.
    • Ironwood on Torchwick stealing an airship;
    Ironwood: The man who has taken that ship is the most dangerous and cunning criminal mastermind ever to live. Fear him.
    [Meanwhile…]
    Torchwick: Why are there six pedals when there's only four directions?
    • Cinder and Mercury gleefully recording the chaos they caused:
    Cinder: Be sure to film all the people dying painfully!
    Mercury: I'mma make both you and Werner Herzog proud!

  • Chapter 11:
    Roman: My name is Roman Torchwick. You killed my Neo. Prepare to die.
    Ruby: My name is Ruby Rose. You killed my Penny. Prepare to die.
    Roman: Do you not have any value or respect for originality?!?
    Ruby: Well, that was a freebie.
    Weiss: This is your moment, Weiss. You can do it. Remember what Winter told you.
    Winter: No one will ever love you.
    Weiss: Okay, maybe not that.
    [Cut to Ruby's fight]
    Ruby: This is your moment, Ruby. You can do it. Remember what Winter told you.
    Winter: I've known you for about five minutes, yet I already understand why your mother chose the sweet embrace of death over raising you.
    Ruby: Wait... Was she not just joshing me at the time?
    [Cut to Jaune]
    Jaune: This is your moment, Jaune. You can do it. Remember what Winter told you.
    Winter: Who are you and why the hell are you here? Leave me and go off to die somewhere unloved and unmourned.
    Jaune: And yet, that's more encouraging than anything I've ever been told...
    • "IRONDADDY'S HOME"
    • "Get in the pod get in the pod get in the pod get in the pod get in the pod get in the pod get in the pod get in the pod"

  • Chapter 12:
    • Apparently Zwei was under the impression that he was going to be the main focus of the finale.
    • "I AM A BUNSEN BURNER OF EVIL!"
    • Before she finished off Pyrrha, Cinder also killed Quicksilver and Ozpin's penis chair.
    • "I also have to wonder if Raven and Summer ended up leaving Taiyang 'cause he was just an average lay or something. I mean, Summer took the leaving thing a bit further, but she’s nothing if not committed."
    • Yang does not take well to attempts at comfort.
    Ruby: (entering Yang's room) Guesssss who it is~?
    Yang: Is it my missing arm?
    Ruby: Wow, you suck at guessing.
    • Though, that's better than the tagline of her father's intervention: "Just Jerk It With Your Left Instead."
    • Even now, no one cares for Yang, not even the wildlife:
    Yang: At least this bird outside the window hasn't left me yet.
    Bird: (flying away) Good heavens, just look at the time, it's abandon Yang o' clock!
    Yang: ...Figures.

    Volume 4 
  • Episode Zero:
    • Sunny Vista doesn't seem to have a very good reputation. And for good reason.
      Random Citizen: We don't deserve this! Not even a little bit!
      Sign: Welcome to Sunny Vista. 3 time winner of "Most Racist Town to Ever Exist Award" Population: --666-- Dwindling.
      (Ruby fighting the Beringel)
      Ruby: Alright listen up buster, I'm saving this town no matter what!
      Sign: Welcome to Sunny Vista. The entire town is voting for Trump. Population: On fire. Thankfully.
      (Yang at home)
      Yang: Maybe I should get away from here and find a nice town to settle down in...
      Sign: Welcome to Sunny Vista. Yeah...even we won't take her. Population: Minus Yang.
      Yang: Sigh...
    • The reason Ruby decided to help Sunny Vista? they were shining the Bat-Signal.
    Ruby: Did somebody say Batman?
    Beringel: Not even a little bit!

  • Chapter 1:
    • How Salem handles her minions;
    Tyrian: Hey Miss Salem can I go to the bathroom?
    Salem: I don't know, can you?
    Tyrian: …May I go to the bathroom.
    Salem: That's better.
    • Salem switches between Cool Teacher (which according to Mercury is making his teacher kink resurface) and Team Mom in dealing with the others.
    Cinder: (after Watts insults her) Hey, Emmy, tell Watts to take himself and go fuck himself with his own self.
    Salem: Language, young lady! We're evil, not uncouth. Don't you make me take your gold star away.
    Watts: Honestly, I'm just glad to be moving away from Phase Two, it was so overrated.
    Mercury: (while being held back by Emerald) YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
    Ren: yeah we're doomed, i'm going to sit this one out and hide in my safety tree
    Nora: (jumps onto his branch) SUP?
    Ren: the tree is compromised, nothing is sacred
    "SHOOPDAWHOOP MOTHERFUCKER, YOU GON GET LASER EYES'D"
    "EXPECTO PATRONUM, BITCHNUTS"

  • Chapter 2:
    • Whitley is under the impression that he's not a surprise sibling.
    Whitley: So, sis, you mentioned me to everyone back at Beacon, right?
    Weiss: Yep, all the time.
    (footage not found)
    • Weiss's reaction to hearing that her mother is already drinking in the garden? "I can't believe Qrow was secretly my mother all along."

  • Chapter 3:
    • Yang considers reading the therapy books that her father bought for her. But, on seeing that the titles are, "It's Going To Get Better...Probably?", "How to Deal with Constant Abandonment," and "One-Handed Juggling 101," she decides not to.
    • Yang then tries to watch some TV to make herself feel better. Between reminders of Adam and Nina Tucker, that doesn't work either.
    • Yang mentions that her motorcycle was stolen by Blake, so that Blake could run away faster.
      Yang: And look, the bike was named Bumblebee and I'm trying not to see it as a metaphor, but...
      • Turns out that Cat Burglar!Blake from RWBY Chibi is canon here too, as Blake also stole Yang's stereo and Weiss' hairbrush.
    • Taiyang's idea of being a supportive father is...fairly flawed.
      "Ironwood wanted me to tell you that you fought admirably, but I corrected him and said you went out like a punk for some chick who left you. And Christ, Yang, you didn't even knock her up first; have I taught you nothing?"
      "I know you think your life sucks and you'll have to give up on your dreams but know that I still have mine. The dream of impregnating ten women in one night at the exact same time, then they give birth at the exact same time, then they all die at the exact same time...That last part will be easiest."
      "Now you'd best go to your room and don't make any noise when Daddy's lady friend is over. I'll know if you do, for I am an alligator. And alligators have ears, bitch."
      • Said lady friend turns out to be Salem.
    • Blake would rather try to fake her own death than pay student loans.
    • Sun picking Blake up The Lion King (1994)-style.
    Sun: (singing) IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

  • Chapter 4
    • "Yang, like anime, was a mistake." -Raven Branwen, 2016
    • Ragtime Adam returns in Yang's nightmares.
    • The prosthetic arm tempting Yang with its twenty-six vibration settings. Bzzz bzzz bzzz.
    • Matt apparently took Tai's canon "You lost more braincells than your arm" crack at Yang to be a sign that Recap!Tai is canon.
    • The darker take on Professor Port's odd fear.
    Oobleck: Port's afraid of mice because they carry diseases.
    Port: Diseases like the one that killed my wife, nine children, and eighteen grandchildren. But sure, Barty, let's make jokes about it, you fuck.
    • "Raven Branwen: If there was a Deadbeat Mom Olympics she'd win gold, silver, and bronze and not show up to collect the medals."
    • Raven has apparently been spending years thinking up puns on Qrow's name for the next time they talk to each other.
    • Qrow has no problem telling his sister exactly what he thinks of her -
    Qrow: I would say you look well, Raven, but that would be a lie. You look like a hurricane of bad decisions and eighties hair styles.
    • This exchange:
    Qrow: Taiyang was a real mess after you left him, sis.
    Raven: Didn't he knock up Summer like a year later?
    Qrow: Exactly. The old Tai would have done it in at least a fortnight.
    • Raven and Tai apparently disagreed on Yang's name:
    Raven: Who the hell is Yang?
    Qrow: ...Seriously?
    Raven: Wait, since when did Tai change her name from Raven Raveny McRaven The Second?!
    • Raven then refers to Yang as Raven Junior almost immediately after.
    • "Brother, you know how the tribe works - it's natural selection. I just chose not to select whatsherface."
    • Raven's excuses for abandoning Yang begin with her saying abandoning daughters is her Semblance. It only escalates from there.
    Qrow: Yeesh, your excuses are getting out of hand, sis.
    Raven: Are not.
    Raven (Ten seconds earlier): Yeah, I was abducted by aliens.
    Raven (Ten seconds before that): Look, I take my games of Hide and Seek very seriously and if the kid couldn't find me it's her own fault.
  • Chapter 5
    • Managerie is apparently RWBY-Australia, complete with photoshopped kangaroo, vegamite, and people going "CRIKEY"
    Sun: Is this...Hell?
    Blake: Close, but no. Welcome to Furry-Fantasy Australia. This is the one place anyone can feel safe, no matter who they are or who they yiff.
    • Sun's freakout over the endless backstory possibilities for him.
    • When he first sees that Blake brought Walking Shirtless Scene Sun home, Ghira assumes that he's supposed to be a new concubine.
    Sun: I both like and fear where this is going.
    • Kali considers her parentage of Blake to be the best there is, taking potshots at two other particular parents. Cut to Jacques and Raven, who take no offense to that.
    • "Sun getting his testicles blown off by Ghira’s shotgun gun is mercifully interrupted by a rapping on the Belladonna’s manor door."
    • Kali refers to herself as the hottest parent on the show. Raven and Taiyang take great offense.

  • Chapter 6
    Weiss: (looking up at her father and brother) Thank you, my next song goes out to the guys on the balcony. It's called, "I Hate You, Please Die."
    • Jacques is entirely oblivious to his daughter's homicidal intentions.
    Jacques: And where do you think you're going?
    Weiss: I'm going to burn this whole place to the ground with you and everyone here in it.
    Jacques: By yourself? Sweetheart, we have people for that.
    • [TFW INCOMING FUCKBOIS]
    • "Okay, I'm done with you, go fuck off back to Legoland."
    • Combined with Moment of Awesome: "This Weiss curtsies for no bitch, and her song ain't over."
    • When Trophy Wife begs Weiss not to hurt her:
    Weiss: I'm not going to hurt you...I have people for that. Specifically, summoned Grimm boar people.
    Background Man: Choke me harder, daddy.
    • Tyrian performs Shakespeare with the skull of Ren's dead mother.
    • Turns out that Ren's parents weren't killed by the Grimm, they were just run down by a drunk driver. That drunk driver happens to be Qrow.
    • "It’s been six to eight months since she’s seen her family, and while Ruby Rose knows she can’t just go home, sometimes, just sometimes, you get lucky and home comes to you, half drunk and saving you from a psychotic scorpion man. And that’s all that matters. Merry Christmas, everyone."

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