After Pete tells a fat, Turkish kid to stop stuffing his face with crisps. The kid's dad calls him a racist.
"He said I singled him out because of his religion and weight, which is now a glandular problem, which I guess compels him to thrust pies down his throat."
There is normally one per episode.
When Pete goes to watch Ben play soccer, he talks with several of the other parents and finds himself correcting Ben's various Blatant Lies about him (such as Pete being a trained SAS officer).
Mark: You're Ben's dad, aren't you?
Mark: He's told me all about you.
Pete: Has he? Well, he will have made it all up, OK? It's just something he does. Whatever story he has told you, it will be a lie. What did he tell you?
Mark: He said you're a history teacher.
Pete: ...Right. No, that one's true.
Pete and Jake's attempts to keep Sue and Angela apart at a wedding, with Pete sneakily changing the seating, and Jake distracting Angela...by talking about floral arrangements.
Jake: Hi Auntie Angela. (awkward silence) Uh, nice table display.
Angela: Yes, that a very nice... table display. (tries to move)
Jake:(blocks her) Yes, I like a good table display. Don't you?
Even funnier, when later on, Angela thinks Jake is gay because of this conversation.
Pete tries to fix a washing machine himself, claiming he needs no help to do so. An ironic cut later goes to outside the laundry room door, where the audience can clearly hear him angrily shouting and violently hitting it.
Sue starts thinking Ben has become an avid sexist, and this isn't helped when he asks for bacon.
Sue: For example, why did you direct that to me and not your father?
Ben's parents evening in Season 4. All his teacher's sugarcoat how annoying he is, but when a humiliated Pete and Sue reach his form teacher, he's more honest:
Mr Hunslet: "I find Ben..."
Pete: "Challenging? Stimulating? Special?"
Mr Hunslet: "No I was going to say pain in the arse."
Pete: Oh, ok...fair enough."
Then there's another teacher's astonishment that Ben and Jake are brothers. She just can't believe it.
Teacher: "Jake? Jake is Ben's brother?"
Teacher: "Right. Gosh. Not a half brother with a different - "
Sue: "No. Brother."
Teacher: "Wow. Crikey."
The ending of the 2011 Christmas Special, in which Ben messes around with Grandad's bed, and Karen messes up with a graph recording some vital levels. Jake is also clearly drunk by this stage.
Several from the 2012 Christmas special:
Jake facepalming by using the wall.
Sue asking if anyone is sober enough to drive Jane to the hospital cut to.
Gran and Ray drunkenly going about the garden
Norris putting two glasses over his eyes
Throughout the party, there is a Running Gag that wherever Jane goes, Pete is following her with a change of clothes and a large, red bucket for her to vomit in.
Pete's mother getting completely hammered at the party and behaving completely out of character, even going as far as to laugh, tell jokes and tell her son she's proud of him.
Pete being stuck in a bathroom with a very sick Jane for a long time. Every time she tries talking about how badly her life has gone, he bangs the door loudly and bellows to be let out; he is practically clawing at the door when she asks if he thinks she should convert to Scientology.
Sue explaining the "Twenty Twelvey" bunting
Sue: It's feel good and twenty twelvey.
Pete: Twenty Twevley?
Sue: It will help revive a glorious summer of sport. The Olympics, Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah, Andy Murray, The Paralympics, everybody booing George Osborne. It makes you feel good just thinking about it.
She probably was smiling about the George Osborne bit.
Norris' wife coming out in public.
Also when Pete and Sue wondering whether Norris knew what happened (Mary, his wife, coming out)
Sue: Do you think he realises
Pete: A small part of him does. The part that isn't a prat
The revelation that Karen is playing online poker. Even better, Sue is about to email the website to tell them that she is being impersonated, until Karen mentions that she is £183 up and she just decides to forbid her from doing it again.
Also how casual Karen is when saying "Online poker"
A donkey walking past the Brockman's house and snorting loudly, leading to the brilliant deadpan response from Pete of "Merry Christmas to you, too!"
Jake and Ben trolling Sue and Pete in the blind football by taking their blindfolds off and shaking the ball in the air to throw them off.
Karen saying she doesn't like oranges because they're "too orange", but they are honest about it.
Sue leaves Ben and Karen with Pete while he's trying to play tennis with his friends. One of them gives Ben and Karen spare tennis rackets, and Karen immediately starts loudly grunting when she hits the ball. When Pete asks her what she's doing, she replies, "When...professional tennis players on telly do it, they always go UNGH! and then they sit down and eat a banana."
Karen giving a funeral to a mouse killed by her parents:
Brethrens, we are gathered here in the bosom of Jesus to say goodbye to this, to this mouse, killed before its time. We have given it cheese and bread for its journey to heaven, or at least if it goes to hell, it'll have cheese on toast. Next up is the Pope. [takes out a teddy bear] Dust to dust, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, may the force be with you, because you're worth it. Amen and out. Thank you, Pope.
During a car trip, Sue suggest playing "who can tell the biggest lie":
Ben: I’m a toilet.
Angela: I’m a magical witch and I’m a hundred thousand years old and at night I sprout wings and I fly above the owls and the bats and I leap over the moon-
Sue: Jake, your go!
Jake: I have the deadly Ebola virus an we’re all gonna die in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.