Funny / My Brother, My Brother and Me

The Podcast

  • "WAIT A MINUTE! Stop the world I want to get off! Did you just say 'Sow your seed in a field of pussies!?'"
  • The brothers' attempt to make a completely PG advertisement for Extreme Restraints, an online BDSM sex shop, results in product descriptions such as "a juicer for really skinny cucumbers" and "is your kids' Harry Potter pretending not upsetting enough? Have I got a wand for you!"
  • Justin tries to cap off the Anxiety-Free Cruise with a soothing rendition of Jimmy Buffett's "Boat Drinks", which Griffin and Travis spend the whole time ruining by singing other songs, trying to turn the song into a round, and just yelling, among other things. At one point Justin gets annoyed enough to take off his headphones, which Griffin and Travis delightedly realize means they can say anything they want.
    Griffin: Hey everybody, Jimmy Buffett sucks!
    Travis: Justin is piloted by fart sperm!
  • OOH MOMMY! (The Daniel Taste™)
  • Griffin describes an awkward sandwich shop via roleplaying, with him as the sandwich shop employee and Justin as him (23 min into Ep 302). Justin ruins the bit by playing Griffin as a socially awkward dweeb with a weird voice, so Travis volunteers to step in and play Griffin instead:
    Griffin: [as sandwich shop employee] Hey man, how was your weekend?
    Travis: [in an even more ridiculous voice than Justin] POKÉMON!
    Griffin: Alright, fuck you guys!

The Show

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     "Dorms & Ghoulsmashing" 
  • Justin warns that "Dorms & Ghoulsmashing" is full of jump scares. They're all clips of him jumping in front of the camera while wearing a goofy cape and saying, "Jump scare!"

     "Resumes & Jamiroquai's Dad" 
  • Griffin reveals that he was once fired from a job by Justin's father-in-law because he skipped work to go to Bonnaroo, and the boys spend the rest of the episode competing for that same job.
  • Travis and Justin pick out a professional work outfit for Griffin. Justin describes the end result as looking "like a carpet fucked a nerd."
  • "Griffin is hungry for responsibility, horny for teamwork, and ready to BUST A NUT up in this job! Skills include EIGHT-FOOT VERTICAL LEAP, young, dumb, and full of... you know ;). OH SHIT THIS THING HAS OTHER COLORS. Thanks for your time. I love you."
  • During the final job interview, Justin reminds Tommy Smirl that he's a breadwinner for their family, and it would be "a real Shame If Something Happenedlet me start over, that wasn't how I wanted to phrase it."
  • Griffin walks into his interview, exclaims, "Aw shit, who's ready for round two?!", and tries to bribe Tommy with $6.

     "Tarantulas & Travis Did A Hit" 
  • The brothers' mission is to convince a man's wife to let him get a pet tarantula. To that end, they bring in Mark Berman, an arachnologist, and several spiders.
    Justin: Aw, that's such a big spider... hey, I just had an interesting thought.
    Mark: Yeah?
    Justin: Actually, fuck this!
    Griffin loses it in the background.
    • "YOU yelled - you're the spider guy and you yelled at it!"
    • When Mark introduces the brothers to an incredibly poisonous spider.
    Griffin: Bye, Travis is going to space. You've just - Travis is now working for NASA-
    Mark: This is not a tarantula, I don't know if we can go out-
    Griffin: Wha - Why'd you bring it, Mark!?

  • The brothers' Tarantula Facebook Page gets hacked.
  • In a genuinely heartwarming moment at the end of the episode, Travis and Justin apologize to each other for their earlier fight and the three boys all say that they love each other... and then Clint asks if this is just them "selling out".

     "Teens & Your Least Favorite Soda" 

     "Secret Societies & Apologies to Nathan" 
  • As Griffin looks for secret maps inside a biography of Barbara Bush, Justin asks if the book has any nudes.
  • "Guys, I'm getting smoked out by Sonic the Hedgehog and Benjamin Franklin!"
  • The boys review each other's secret society outfits:
    Griffin: [to Travis] You look like a businessman with an extremely specific fetish.
    Travis: [to Griffin] You look like a new character in Candyland that just steals Twizzlers.
    Justin: [to Griffin] You look like a vaudeville usher who's trying for a management position.
    Travis: Justin, you look like a Halloween costume to represent farts under a blanket.
    Griffin: Justin looks like some rye bread that a cape got on.
    Justin: [to Griffin] You look like if hepatitis was a person.

     "Candlenights & Vape Ape" 
  • There's a Running Gag of the boys writing "legally binding" statements into things that other people read aloud, such as the mayor commenting on Justin's big muscles or declaring them all the new mayors of Huntington. It's used to its greatest effect here when Lin-Manuel Miranda, who narrates the episode, realizes that about 6 pages of his script are just a list of things Griffin is trying to get from him, including his Tony Award.
  • The last scene is an emotional moment of the brothers all sitting together talking about how much they love each other and how grateful they are for this show and the ability to work together. Justin ends up crying, so Travis and Griffin comfort him by cracking jokes about how tears are "Emmy Juice". It... sort of works:
    Justin: I do love you. I don't enjoy you, either of you. As people—I don't like you very much as people.
    Griffin: That feels like a good place to...
    Justin: I feel like the credits have all gone past!
    Travis: I feel like they're going right now.