This oh so loving exchange between Edgar and his wife...
Edgar: I go out, I work my butt off to make a living, all I want is to come home to a nice clean house with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this. It looks like poison. Don't you take that away, I'm eating that, damn it. It is poison, isn't it? I swear to God I would not be surprised if it was, the way you skulk around here like a dog that's been hit too much or ain't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind. You're useless, Beatrice. The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck. (then a UFO crash-lands into said truck) Edgar: (rushes outside to survey the mess)Figures.
In the recruitment sequence:
"Something funny, Edwards?" "My boy Captain America over here! Best of the best of the best, sir. With honors. Obviously, he's just really excited and he has no clue why we're here."
"No, Elvis is not dead, he just went home." My favorite line in the entire movie.
Tommy Lee Jones happily driving the car upside down and singing along with the Elvis song. He pays the toll without missing a beat.
After K interrogates Jeebs in the pawnshop, he threatens him with even more bodily harm and leaves. Edwards can only say "Yeah, and, and... I'ma be back to talk about them Rolexes."
"Edwards. Would you care to explain why you felt Little Tiffany deserved to die?"
Agent K's eagerness to use the neuralizer gets on J's nerves...
Kay: Have a look at this, please...(triggers neuralizer) Jay: (barely able to shield his eyes with his glasses) Would you stop that?! Kay: What? Jay: That thing is gonna give that poor woman brain cancer or something! Kay: Never hurt her before...(he leaves, Jay in tow) Jay: "Never hurt her before"? Kay, how many times have you flashy-thinged that poor woman? Kay: A couple. Jay: So you're not worried about any long-term damage? Kay: A little. Jay: Kay, have you ever flashy-thinged me? Kay: No. Jay: I ain't playin', Kay! Have you ever flashy-thinged me before?! Kay: No.
Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming in the 3rd film when you find out that he did do it to Jay...when he was a child
Identifying the Bug:
Kay: I don't suppose you know what kind of alien life form leaves a green spectral trail and craves sugar water, do you?
Jay: Uh, wait, that was on "Final Jeopardy!" last night. Damn, Alex said...
The alien childbirth scene. Jay is getting pummelled all over the car and screaming in the background, and Kay is just chatting calmly with Reggie. It's harder to pay attention to the foreground event, but it's pretty important. The start is particuarly hilarious.
Kay:(to Jay, looking at an alien woman in labour) And you, uh, deal with this!
Jay's and Kay's exchange on the inflatable "auto-pilot" of their vehicle.
Kay: Does that come standard?
Jay: Actually it came with a black dude but he kept getting pulled over.
The infamous scene at the start of the second film where Serleena devours a man whole, if sheerly for how unexpected it was that it would actually show.
What really sells the scene is how mannequin-ish Serleena is while letting the rapist drag her into the bushes, barely registering any sort of expression. Then she comes hobbling out with the deadweight, like she was white trash or something...
The mind wiped Kay follows in Jay's footsteps from the first film and is utterly bewildered by MIB HQ. Much like Jay, he curiously pokes at a small floating sphere. While Jay poked a super bouncy ball of chaos, Kay happens to have stumbled upon a tiny planet. Presumably they're okay, though.
Jay: (Grumbling under his breath) Old, busted hotness...
After J defeats Jarra, he finds himself in a pile of plastic tubes... which he awkwardly tries to flop out of as the launch timer is counting down.
Men in Black III
From the trailer for the third film:
Jay: I'm looking for Kay. Have you seen him? Sort of a surly, older gentleman. He smiles like this.
(Puts on the most serious face he can)
In the third film, Agent J drops a very sly Chappelle's Show reference into 1969. When J was confronted about how he knew Agents O and K, he tried a lame excuse to say that he referred to couples as "Okkaayyy!!" Also counts as Hilarious in Hindsight even if it was unintentional.
In the third film, most every scene with Griffin, since being able to continuously see several dozen possible futures makes him a Cloudcuckoolander, is funny, awesome, or both. Especially his Brick Joke at the end of the film, "that was a close one".
Agent O's eulogy at Zed's funeral, where she proceeds to paraphrase something an alien said about him... in the same language of the original quote.
When J first meets young K.
J: Kay!!! (Moves to hug him)
K: (Promptly tasers J)
After time has been altered, J is back in MIB HQ and asks O about what's been happening. O says that there are two possibilities about it, the first being a long winded explanation about a dangerous alien tick that could kill J...and then promptly slaps J hard.
O: *dissapointed* Damnit, it's not the tick...
J: *annoyed, rubbing his cheek* Damnit it's not the tick!?
Men In Black: The Series
The episode "The Bad Seed" where Jay is accidentally injected with a truth serum.
Possessed Zed: Well, did we lose him? Jay:(trying to keep his mouth shut, unsuccessfully. Runs out of the closet) No you didn't lose me! I'm right here! And the worms are in there! (the worms run away screaming)
Kay: You didn't leak out any classified information while you were out in public, did you? Jay: Who me? Nah. Yo, the truth serum wore off! Kay and Elle: Jay!
"The Elle of My Dreams Syndrome" episode where Kay acts like an incompetent partner in Jay's dream world.
