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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Men In Black
  • In the possibility where future Boris Kills K. J doesn't think about using the time travel device to dodge Boris' spikes and is unable to stop future Boris from killing K.
MiB suits are self-cleaning.
  • It's a perfectly reasonable In-Universe explanation for why our favorite agents are covered head-to-toe in slime in one scene and clean as a whistle in the next.
    • It's more likely that they buy in bulk and keep a bunch of spares with them.
      • No, the first troper is right. "The last suit you'll ever wear" implies they only get one each.
      • J clearly had an oriental variation of the suit at the end of the first movie. So they clearly get more than one, and they're able to customize it to some degree (though most choose not to).
      • During the induction, Zed says "You will dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MIB special services", so it's fair to say this particular suit is also sanctioned.

Agent J and Will Smith's character from Independence Day are the same character
In MIB 2, J mentions he'd defeated an alien invasion while K's memory was gone; obviously it was the one in Independence Day. When the aliens invaded, the MIB slipped several of its agents into the military as covert operatives. Agent J swapped out Jeff Goldblum's Macbook with an advanced MIB computer capable of hacking the aliens, and also switched the human atomic bomb with a more powerful explosive. Once the rubble had been rebuilt, the MIB used a massive neuralizer burst to make everyone forget..
  • Except the invaders were, as K said, 'the Backstreet Boys of the galaxy'. The aliens in Independence Day were hardly pushovers.
  • This WMG seems unlikely - that invasion left several cities (including New York) devastated and wreckage everywhere... but I'll still toss in that J had neuralized himself for the duration of the mission, which is why he doesn't seem like an MIB.

Agent J is a company morale experiment.
Conformity was actually starting to cause psychological stress among the rank and file. While everyone being individuals wasn't an option; having one person break up the monotony was an acceptable compromise. K insisted that he be effective regardless. He's basically the MIB's version of a novelty necktie.
  • Not likely. All of J's "non-conformity" in the first film can be chalked up to him being a rookie. In the second film, he is a lot more professional, compared to Agent T, who acted the same way J was acting in the first film. By the third film, he is as professional as K, if not as stuffie. K's grouchiness is based partly on his age, and partly on the events that happened at the launch site.

The disc that "will replace the CD soon" was in fact the UMD.
The Men In Black aren't perfect.
  • Plus, nobody ever said that humans couldn't do it better. The smart phone might have revolutionized intergalactic data storage.
    • How do you know it's a human creation?

The disc that "will replace the CD soon" was in fact the data storage device for a bond algorithm that allows banks to effectively use invested money and bring their clients a higher rate of return, and will have been introduced at the next depression-climb.
Wrong sort of CD, sport.

Hannah Montana and family are aliens
Hannah's mundane alter-ego Miley Stewart is, in fact, a ruse to draw speculation away from that fact. In order to maintain the charade, MiB had to track down and neuralize anyone and everyone who had seen her blow her cover in Tennessee.

The MIB is either part of or works alongside the SCP Foundation
Secretive, hyper-powerful organizations whose primary purpose is to police the planet of the strange, the unusual, and the dangerous and to keep the peace by suppressing knowledge of their existence? Too coincidental.

Michael Jackson never died.
He managed to convince Zed and got his job as Agent M.
  • Or maybe he just got kicked off the planet, or got tired of waiting and just went home.

The Liberty Island
neuralizer in the second film had secondary effects built in. Primarily, erasing undeveloped film and not having to look directly at the birdie (possibly not even having to be in the light itself, but only within a certain range which is lessened but not blocked by cement). It is likely that, aside from being lower-powered, the personal neuralizers are intentionally nerfed versions of this original-design neuralizer. Unfortunately, this means that any MIB agents within range who had their glasses off (anti-neuralizing field generators in the earpieces) lost their memories of that time as well, and that the MIB will have to find a new way to deal with flash memory storage for digital photographs now that it's become much more common.
  • The MIB doubtlessly wouldn't allow flash memory storage technology to be released to the masses until they already had a guaranteed way to alter it.

The MIB are the American branch of the Torchwood Institute.
Both organisations reverse engineer alien technology, defend the earth from alien invasions, have the ability to perform Laser-Guided Amnesia, and function under the philosophy of "if it's alien, it's ours."
  • Alternatively, MIB is Torchwood Four, the missing one.
  • Problem is that Torchwood was devoted to the British Empire until The Oughties, there would not be an American branch.
    • Another problem: their philosophies don't match up very well. MIB has no problem coexisting with aliens as long as they stay secret. Torchwood is more interested in seizing the tech by force- at first, anyway.

Anne Heche is being monitored by the MIB.
And she's used in training videos: "What Happens When an Alien Encounters Earth Drugs and Accidentally Reveals Their True Identity".

The next film will feature Alpha
He'll be a full-on canon immigrant. And it will make up for the second movie.
  • Jossed. The next movie's villain will be a time traveler named Boris.

Laurel is a necrophiliac.
  • Seems Legit

Fonzie was an MIB agent at one point
He was agent Aaay.
  • May not a lame pun. His name was Arthur Fonzarelli. And he did have almost supernatural powers at times.
  • And he fought Mork!

The MIB eventually evolved into Section 31.
They exist outside of the Federation to protect it's citizens from any outside attacks and strives to protect the Federation's interests at all costs. And like MIB, people hardly know they exist.
  • They also look good in black.

Time travelers are to the present universe what space travelers are to planet Earth.
Men In Black III will introduce us to The Masquerade within The Masquerade. Most contemporary aliens are unaware of the presence of visitors from the future and many would dismiss the very idea of time travel. Ironically, the man teaching J to "time jump" will turn out to be a regular human.
  • Confirmed. Except that while most aliens don't know about time travel, at least one race can do it mentally.

Mi B suits are actually high tech armor
We see Agent J getting tossed around alot, stuff that would shatter his spine or at least break ribs. J just shrugs it off. My conclusion is that the Mi B suit contains an inertia dampener and probably anti-energy weapon/bullet resistant armor. Still there is quite a lot that can penetrate the suit, so they don't tell the new guy, to prevent delusions of invulnerability.

Agent K is Agent Phil Coulson's father.
First off, Marvel owns both franchises. Second off, they're both badass agents who dress in suits, both work for secret government agencies, and neither bat an eyelash at aliens or alien technology. We also know that Agent K was married, but never whether or not he had any kids. Not that much of a stretch, is it?

In the Alternate Timeline, the colonel joined the MIB.
He later recruited J in the MIB while K had been dead since 1969.

Agent K and Agent O are married. The character of Agent O and the wife from the first film are Same Character Different Actor.
It would seem cruel and inconsistent that K would outright leave his wife to join MIB, yet still love said wife as depicted in the first film. It'd be terribly cruel for K to chase two other women and maybe more. The Agent K and O "how we met" story, described in the 3rd film, is very common even without the alien angle to it. Agents K and O obviously care about each other in 1969 and O clearly remembers his "coffee routine" in 2012. There is no indication in the first film that K's wife was ever neuralyzed. A circumstantial theory is that Agent O caught K having an affair in 1977 that produced a daughter (see second film). They could eventually split personal with professional, K working full-time at the agency and O as a deep-cover agent with a civilian life. When K was neuralyzed after the first film, O saw this as his "retirement". However, after Zed's death, O and K are the most senior agents, so O is named chief as she is the younger of the two and K is probably headed for retirement (again) before O.
  • Not likely, though. A close-up of K's screen in the first film, when he's observing his future wife, reveals her name to be "Elizabeth Ann Reston". Observed naming conventions would have put her as "Agent E", or possibly "Agent EA".

The tiny alien thing which moves inside and out of Boris's body is actually his chopped-off hand
Proofs: it gets delivered to Boris by the girl during the prison escape sequence, so it must come from outside the prison; Boris says it's a part of him; we see Boris' arm getting vaporized at the end of the third movie but his hand being chopped off and remaining (almost) intact; and, most important, younger Boris doesn't seem to have it.
  • If it's his hand, then how would younger Boris not have it?
    • It's his hand after it has been chopped off, which made it take on a life of its own. Younger Boris doesn't have any tiny alien around because his hand is still firmly attached to his arm (or whatever it is his body is made of).
      • Younger Boris does have it and may possibly have 2, one for each hand. When he has Griff on the motorbike he sends it out from his left hand to grab the box Griff has. I figured that's why he always refers to himself as "we", and says that since losing his left arm "we've thought about it everyday" because his right hand insect thingy misses its brother.
      • He only ever uses one hand to throw spikes, and the orifice in his right hand was empty when the symbiote (which was presumably in his left when K shot it off) freed him.

Star Wars is based on real events
The first movie had an off-hand reference to Corellians. The third film had an Arcanian, which is also a Star Wars Expanded Universe race. Finally, the original movie showed George Lucas to be one of the undercover aliens - he probably wrote Star Wars as a fictitious story, involving actual places and customs he was familiar with.
  • Which would explain the "inaccuracies" between the original trilogy, the Special Edition, and the latest DVD release. And also the Expanded Universe.

The big tongued woman in the Chinese restaurant and the big fish being towed away are one and the same
The long tonged girl was not killed during the battle, but the fish was. However, another giant fish is being towed away at the end.

The Cephalopod Jay chased down was not working for the Bugs, but some other race thriving on destruction.
"There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet."

Butters was mistaken at one point to be a Ballchinian.

Griff is the MIIIB universe's Doctor.
He can sense timelimes, is telepathic and is the last of his kind. He even has a strange alien device that kinda looks like a watch!

The reason why people have to jump off a tall building to time travel...
...is because they have to reach speeds of up to 88 miles per hour to do so.
  • Lol, the MythBusters should try and debunk this theory.

When K came back in the second movie, it brought back his hidden memories of the 1969 events.
He had hidden that from himself (hey, there's precedent). The reason he recruited J was the timeline auto-correcting. Once he remembered, he decided not to bring it up in hopes it would never happen. Maybe the memory was just loose and foggy until the present film happened.

9/11 was another covered-up alien event
But it was just as horrible and sad in the MIB universe as it was in Real Life. It was the MIB's biggest loss of human life in one shot.

The Neuralizers attract people
Everyone is always standing in front of the MI Bs in a neat group. There's a function built in that makes people naturally curious and the MI Bs activate it before they neuralize them to get them into an easy-to-flash group.

The Chinese branch of MIB...
Doesn't use letter-based names. Instead, they're all named Agents Wang, Li, Zhang, and Chen. In Real Life, those names account for a quarter of China's population, and would serve as unremarkable monikers.
  • It might work in the field, like how modern CIA could use John, Jack, Mary, and Jane but how do they speck to each other at their base?

Agent T became The Tick after being retired.

The bug inside the cake is what a Boglodite looks like. Boris isn't a Boglodite, he's made out of them.
Much like an insect or lizard with camouflage capabilities, Boglodites have instincts which allow them to "blend in" (or in this case assemble a replica of the species which surrounds them.) Since it's a reflexive, subconscious action, it's extremely hard to completely drop the disguise on command unless injured (see the theory above that the bug was part of Boris's arm) or in extreme danger (Boris transforming into a primal state near the end.) Years of being stuck in human form have conditioned Boris to want revenge for his "arm" rather than his slain teammates.

Neuralizer Uses Are Logged
Every time a Neuralizer is used, the details of when, where and who used it is sent to MIB's database for records. It would help prevent agents from abusing it, and in the event someone would need to be Deneuralized, you could easily bring up the details. It would also explain why K's Neuralizer has a dial-up modem in 1969.

J died trying to save K in the original timeline.
This theory proposes a semi-stable time loop. In this, Boris always went back in time, and J always went back to chase him. The character Griffin shows that there are a near infinite amount of possibilities that can happen. Basically though, something happened in the original timeline, and the adult J died to save K. This is what traumatized K so much, and why he was so quiet about the whole incident. In the new timeline, where K didn't witness his partner's death, and then meet a younger version seconds later. Notice K doesn't seem as grouchy at the end, he actually seems quite content and happy. This also explains why the mission was classified. It makes no sense for it to be classified due to time travel in an unaltered timeline, since the younger Boris wasn't interested in time travel at all. Time travel would've had nothing to do with that mission if the timeline wasn't altered. It's also why K didn't want J chasing after Boris, he'd already seen J die once from it.

The mission to stop Boris was only classified to Agent J.
Even if K didn't recognize James as that kid he neuralized forty years ago, (James Edwards being a common name, and adults look nothing like kids, and it was forty years ago) in the process of deleting J's personal records, he saw the birth certificate and figured out that J was the little kid who lost his father and whom he neuralized. K pulled some strings with Zed and O, and made it so J would never find out that K knew exactly what happened to his father and covered it up. K also didn't want J on the mission, since it might come up that Boris killed J's father; such things tend to lead to blind rage and wrecklessness, likely to get J killed.

Alternatively, it has been surmised that in the original timeline that J's father wasn't killed but recruited (since we don't know how that timeline occured, it's possible things changed in such a way that J's father would've taken up that offer to join MIB). Even so, the mission was still classified, and only to J. Both because joining MIB is supposed to be like disappearing off the globe, so family members aren't allowed to know about recruitment, even if that family member joins MIB (probably official legal stuff that wasn't changed simply because this doesn't come up often enough). And also because if J knew that MIB was the reason he grew up without a father, he might defect. Any other agent would be able to access the full mission report from their account if they tried, but J didn't think of getting somebody else.

In the timeline where K was killed, the mission wasn't classified because K wouldn't be able to report about J's father. O had no idea about J's father and simply assumed the mission was classified due to time travel. Interestingly, since Boris wouldn't have a reason to go down and kill James's father, and K wouldn't be around to recruit him, this means that James was raised by his father, but doesn't remember it due to Ripple-Effect-Proof Memory.

The mission to stop Boris wasn't classified until O saw J looking into it.
J only started receiving "Access Denied" messages after O seemed to notice what he was doing. From her point of view, something very strange was going on. One of her agents who, from her point of view, knew nothing about K has suddenly become obsessed with him and started looking at a 40-year old file. Whether the file was originally "above his paygrade" or not, it was certainly suspicious behavior from her point of view. Being a responsible boss, she decided to intervene to find out just what the hell was going on, and used her higher security clearance to lock J out of the file until she found out what was going on.

Someone in the cast is into Vorarephilia.
In nearly all three movies, someone gets wolfed down by an alien or the film's antagonist. For example, in the first film, the real Edgar is devoured by the alien giant cockroach and then his skin is used as a costume, a thug is eaten by Serleena in the second movie (though he's later spat out), and in the third, another thing gets eaten. Seems like more than a coincidence, doesn't it?
  • Lol, that explains so much.

"They're beautiful, aren't they? the stars?"
The phrase "They're beautiful, aren't they? The stars?" is a code phrase MIB agents use when they want to retire from MIB.
The MIB are undercover fairies from artemis fowl.
The similarities are too hard to not notice. Fairies mind wipe and the MIB neuralyzes. Perhaps MIB is a branch of LEP that deals with aliens and other species of fairies that are not part of the main 8 families, sort of like section 8.

Agent K is a secret voraphile
Nuff said.
MementoWMG/FILMMetropolis

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