Funny / Gilmore Girls

  • Paris kissing Rory at Spring Break to prove she's spontaneous.
  • Rory, Paris, and Lane get absolutely hammered with Miss Patty's punch and discuss their miserable love lives.
  • Rory gets her first in the pilot, when Lorelai confronts the guy whom she turned down and later found hitting on Rory.
    Lorelai: Hi. I see you've met my daughter.
    Rory: Are you my new daddy?
  • Lorelai and Rory visit a Tastes Like Diabetes hotel. Lorelai finds the guest book and writes: "Satanic forces are at work here."
  • The Fight Montage in "Friday Night's All right for Fighting", especially the part where Emily and Lorelai have the exact same argument that they had in the pilot!
    Lorelai: We were sixteen! We didn't want to get married!
    Emily: When you get pregnant, you get married. A child needs a mother and a father!
    Lorelai: OH, MY GOD!!!!
  • Kirk's "night terrors".
  • "I'm not the first guy to name a restaurant after myself! What about Mr. Denny or Mr. E. Cheese?"
  • ''Dammit Gilmore, give them back their balls!''
  • The diorama of a modern family at the Stars Hollow Historical Museum.
    Mother: I just love serving breakfast to my family!
    Child: And I love Jesus!
  • A completely soaked Paris rushes in from the stormy outdoors to appraise a not very sharp girl who asked "Is it raining?" of how it is outside;
    Paris: No, it's National Baptism Day! Tie your tubes, idiot!
  • Lorelai comes up with a phrase of Inherently Funny Words. "Oy with the poodles already!"
  • "Where have all the anvils gone?"
  • Emily sneaking up on Lorelai while she dances and lip-syncs to Andy Gibb's "Shadow Dancing" in her Jeep.
  • Luke pushes Jess into a lake without flinching.
  • Jess's black eye and his story about attacked by a swan. Luke doesn't believe him but humors him when they row out to the lake and try to attack the swan with a ladle.
    • "I'm telling you, [the swan] is vicious." "Yeah, his butt's terrifying."
  • At the Bracebridge dinner, Dean comments to Rory that he think Jess is a jerk. They turn to see Jess standing in the foyer talking to Luke and Lorelai and when the three of them make eye contact, Jess simply waves hello at them with a semi-innocent look on his face, making Dean seethe with irritation.
    • Jackson as the Bracebridge squire.
    • Sookie forgot what salt was.
  • The short movie Kirk made.
  • Emily tries explaining her wedding day woes to Lorelai.
    Lorelai: What does that even mean?
  • The minstrel at Liz and TJ's wedding. It's a funny moment in-universe as well, Luke and Lorelai are clearly trying to think of ways not to laugh while Jess makes faces in an attempt to not crack.
    • Before that, Liz and her friends meet up at Luke's diner. A postal worker comes into the diner with a package for Liz. Jess, being completely aware of what's about to happen, hightails it out of there and gives a clueless Luke a "Have fun!!" look. Luke has no idea ("but there's no address on it!")...until the postal worker reveals that he's really a stripper and starts dancing for Liz.
  • Lorelai finding out that Rory was the cause of the fight at a Wild Teen Party. She starts singing "The Wind Beneath My Wings".
  • In "That Damn Donna Reed", Rory dresses up as, and acts like, a stereotypical housewife as a way of teaching Dean a lesson (she thinks he was acting a little sexist). When Lorelai sees her in that outfit, she's highly amused:
    Lorelai: Well, OK, you're 16. You have a whole house to yourself for the evening. I expect that you're going to have your boyfriend over. But what is with the apron?
    Rory: It's a long story.
    Lorelai: Did it involve a sharp blow to the head?
    Rory: I gotta go check on Apricot.
    Lorelai: Oh my God! I just saw the pearls.
    Rory: I'm going in now.
    Lorelai: You know what? I'm going inside too. 'Cause I have to write down all the ways I'm gonna torture you about that outfit.
    Rory: Good night!
    Lorelai: Could I just get a picture though? 'Cause visual aids would really help. Oh, oh! Oh the shoes! I am dying. Oh.
    • The beginning of the episode is also hysterical, with Loralai and Rory watching The Donna Reed Sow and making glorious commentary on the sugary-sweet and sexist 1950's vibe they get from it.
    Loralai: (Watching Donna Reed, mockingly) You now daughter, there's nothing I find more satisfying than washing windows. Oh no, I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny, I don't now why I had it. It's not the second Saturday of the month.
  • The shocked look on Lorelai's face when Floyd Stiles reveals that he knows she and Jason are dating
  • Lorelai wakes up to Luke fixing her porch rail.
  • A reverend and a rabbi make fun of Taylor in Luke's Diner.
    Taylor: I'm not afraid of your bubbes, Rabbi.
    Reverend: Oh, God, thank you for letting me be in the room when Taylor said that.
  • Luke's Freak Out when he discovers Taylor put in a window connecting the soda shoppe to his diner
  • The church pastor finding Luke and Lorelai breaking the church bells. His response? "Oh thank god...carry on."
  • Jess sneaks into the dance marathon and attempts to grab a snack from the concession stand...except it's operated by Lane and Mrs. Kim.
    Mrs. Kim: Who are you??
    Jess: Jess. [Beat] Ma'am.
  • Kirk getting a cat and having new and worse-looking scratches every time he meets up with Lorelai, explaining how the cat (which he also named Kirk) will attack him if he doesn't "announce his presence before entering a room." Later he explains filling his tub with water and hiding underwater to hide from Cat Kirk but "he still found me", and by the end of the episode he's sleeping outside on a park bench.
  • In a meta-example, the season 4 episode where Richard's mother passes away, her very same actress plays Richard's cousin at the funeral later that episode! Make-up wise it's done so well you could hardly tell, but the voice should be a dead give away.
  • Lorelai's been uninvited to Christmas dinner and is moping about it.
    Rory: I think you're acting a little immature.
    Lorelai: I'm not acting.
  • Lorelai coming home to find an injured and very drunk Luke trying to fix her broken window.
    Lorelai: Listen, why don't you hang out, rest for a little while here. I'll go get you a real bandage.
    Luke: (slurring) I like the Barbie ones!
    Lorelai: Yes, honey, but the other kids will beat you up if they see you with one of those.
  • Rory and Lorelai devil-egging Jess's car.
    Jess: Someone prepared eggs to throw at my car?
    Luke: Yep, that's paprika.
  • In "Dear Emily and Richard", Lorelai opens a door, stares at Sookie and says nothing. Sookie gives an exasperated sigh and flips a huge golfball cake straight into a trash can.note 
  • When Lane decides to dye her hair, with Rory's help, and the bleach starts burning her scalp. They're panicking, the burning's getting worse, and the label is no help.
    Lane: What do I do?
    Rory: Run around the block!
    Lane: Why?!
    Rory: I don't know!
    Lane: Good enough for me! (Takes off running)
    • There's also this exchange.
    Rory: Oh! A girl told me once that if your scalp is hurting from bleach, drink a 7-Up! It's something to do with the bubbles.
    Lane: The Kim household does not have soft drinks!
    Rory: Well, what do you have?
    Lane: Something called salad water imported from Korea. Trust me, it's nothing like 7-Up!
  • "Oh, for God's sake, Jason, can you just be young?"
  • Rory's therapy session after she returns to Yale. Once the therapist brings up Logan, it all goes downhill from there...
    • By the end, Alexis Bledel was clearly "sobbing" into the tissues to hide the fact that she was hysterically laughing.
    • The ending of the scene in particular is funny:
    Rory: I stole a boat with [Logan]! I never stole a boat with Dean!
    Dr. Shapiro: Who's Dean?
    Rory: My married ex-boyfriend who I lost my virginity to!
    Dr. Shapiro: Wow.
    Rory: Yeah, I'm a treat! I don't know what I'm gonna do, I don't think I can take running into him every day in the halls, and in the paper and the coffee cart... Oh my god! I'm gonna have to quit drinking coffee! And I love coffee! [sobbing] I really love coffee!
  • Poor Sookie has a meltdown when Jackson deep fries the turkey.
    Sookie: Am I crying or laughing?
  • Jess's prank on Doose's Market by putting up crime scene tape and chalk outline. It gets the whole town into a tizzy and Rory's real opinion is that it was Actually Pretty Funny.
  • Sookie and Jackson figuring out how to deal with the 68 pounds of marijuana Jackson found illegally growing on one of his plots, even trying to hide it from the reverend, the rabbi, and the town troubadour.
    Sookie: They were always listening to the Allman Brothers. We should never hire guys that listen to the Allman Brothers!
    [later, when Lorelai shows up at Sookie's door after having a fight with Luke]
    Lorelai: What's that smell?
    Sookie: 68 pounds of marijuana.