Funny / Gilligan's Island

• The castaways tap into a transcontinental telephone cable, and Gilligan reaches an operator who keeps asking him to deposit a dime.
  Gilligan: Operator, listen to me, listen to me! We're shipwrecked, you see, and we found this telephone line, and we tapped into it. And we're on a deserted island, and there's no telephone booth or even a phone!
  Operator: Why do I get all the nuts? [disconnects the line]
• Similarly, in "Plant You Now, Dig You Later", when they find a chest which they think is full of treasure, the Howells open it up and discover cannon-balls, which they don't recognize, and postulate that they are black pearls.
  Mrs. Howell: I wonder how they got those little tiny oysters to produce such large pearls?
  Mr. Howell: [amazed voice] They must have used whips.
• Also Mr. Howell's Harvard-grad reaction to a loincloth-clad savage spewing enraged gibberish: "Must be a Yale man!"
• "Not Guilty":
  • The Professor's pride and glee in showing off his latest invention — a coconut cutter modeled after a guillotine — and his utter obliviousness to why everyone else is getting creeped out by it. Both Gilligan and the Skipper and the Howells disappear while his back is turned, much to his bemusement.
  • The Professor finds out that the Castaways are considered murder suspects last of all of them, and he manages to calm the girls down. Ginger and Mary Ann agree that they can't let this paranoia go on...and then the others, who've been hiding in various places in the supply hut, emerge and say that they agree too.
• In "Agonized Labor", the Howells think they've lost their fortune and the other castaways try to train them in various professions. Ginger tries to teach Mrs. Howell acting:
  Ginger: Oh! I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying...
  Mrs. Howell [clapping]: Oh, that was a beautiful death!
  Ginger [crossly]: I'm not finished yet!
• "Mr. and Mrs. ???:
  • The rest of the castaways' predicament dealing with the temporarily split-up Howells, from Ginger and Mary Anne trying to remain patient as Mrs. Howell obliviously does not discuss her husband, to Gilligan telling Mr. Howell, who has just given him a Long List of things to take care of, that he lost a building team, not a wife.
  • When the Skipper's disoriented from being conked on the head:
    Gilligan: You sure you're all right, Skipper?
    Skipper: For the last time, I'm all right, Mary Anne!
• Any time the show launched into a Dream Sequence tended to be a high point. The cast loved doing them, and it shows:
  • Gilligan's dream that he's Lord Admiral Gilligan, fighting pirates (the other male castaways) on his ship in the wildest, wackiest swordfight in 1960s Live Action TV.
  • In "Up At Bat", Giliigan gets bit by a bat and believes he's now a vampire, he goes to sleep and has a dream about being a vampire. Hilarity Ensues.
    • The part where Gilligan is Dracula fighting Inspector Sherlock and Watson (Professor and Skipper) in a brawl that may have been really stiff, but is even sillier with the onomatopoeia words than in the 1960s Batman series.
    • Still not fully awake, he punches the Skipper in the gut:
      Gilligan: Oh gee, sorry about that, Skipper.
      Skipper: I'm not Skipper, I'm Frankenstein's Monster! [He proceeds to chase Gilligan]
  • "And Then There Were None", in which Gilligan dreams of being on trial. It manages to mix references to The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Mary Poppins, and Pygmalion.
  • Gilligan's spy-adventure dream in "The Invasion."
    Lovey Howell:: Oh, no wonder they call you 014; you're twice as smart as 007!
• Also in "Up At a Bat", Ginger is looking in a mirror with no silver at the back.
  Ginger: All I get is a blank expression.
  Mary Ann: You don't need a mirror, you're still beautiful.
  Ginger: Oh, I know. But I like to get another opinion.
• In "Voodoo", the Professor gets turned into a zombie (the "brainless slave" kind, not the "flesh eating" kind). The Skipper and Gilligan begin talking about a plan to appease the witch doctor so he'll lift the enchantment. Gilligan, however, isn't quite sure about the terminology for turning a zombie back to normal — and apparently, neither is the Skipper.
• In The Producer, Gilligan as Hamlet flubs a line:
  Gilligan: There is nothing left for you but to get thee to a notorary! [Ginger looks confused]
  • Gilligan as Hamlet also tells Ginger as Ophelia to hide wherever she likes, "just don't go near the water." Ginger nods agreement.
• In "The Invasion", the Professor keeps the briefcase in his hut to guard it against the curiosity of the other Castways. When Mary Ann and Ginger decide to go after it, Ginger tries to seduce the Professor to distract him. He expresses suspicion, and she tries to convince him that she's interested in him.
  Ginger [breathy]: Isn't it enough that you're here...and I'm here...
  The Professor: And the case is here?

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