Funny / Crash Bandicoot

  • "I'm in a safe place... I'm in a safe place... Ohhh-AAAH!"
  • The "N Faux Mercial" cutscene from Mind Over Mutant.
    • "Stare into the dancing lights. Stare and dream. AAAHHH- Stare and dream. Get your NV today!"
  • From Crash Tag Team Racing:
    Stew: "You ever put a baked ham in a woodchipper? I know I have!"
  • "YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE A BANDICOOT!!"
  • The Elementals in Wrath of Cortex tend to have rather lame insults or just outright threaten you during periodic stage transitions. The Water Elemental voiced by R. Lee Ermey?
    Water Elemental: Leave my levels alone!
  • More fun with N. Gin: "Ow, my spleen is coming out! ...So that's what it looks like."
  • "Avenge me! Eat a balanced breakfast."
  • Some of The Many Deaths of Crash in the second and third games.
    • One of the best comes from the third game: in the level "Double Header", there are double-headed giants. They can hit you with their clubs. Know what happens when you get hit? Crash slams into the screen. Another good one is in the Arabian stages, where there are swordsmen swinging their swords, and if you get close, they will slice Crash's pants leaving him in his undies, and laugh at him while Crash is embarrased and walking away.
    • In Wrath Of Cortex, Coco gets her own ascending angel death animation like her brother. It's as adorable as it is hilarious, especially since she seems to be struggling to maintain flight.
  • N. Gin's scene in Crash of the Titans, where he starts arguing with himself (a clear reference to Gollum):
    N. Gin: But Doctor Cortex is our friend... (switches) You don't have any friends! He always kicked you in the tokus! And other! Very! Gentle! Spots! (switches) But I liked it when he did that!
  • Most of the things that N. Gin randomly yells out over his intercom and during his boss fight in Titans:
    I'll ruin you like I ruined my prom!
    I could be on Cyborg Idol if that show existed! WHY DON'T THEY MAKE THAT SHOW?!
    Oh I am the worst thing to happen to music... since Andrew Lloyd Webber!
    Attention disgusting monkeys: Crash Bandicoot has been sighted loose in the facility. Please take a moment to look around your work space. If you find a bandicoot, please DROP! HUGE! BOMBS ON THEM!! CAUSE EXPLOSIONS, AND SHARP THINGS TO FLY INTO THEIR BODIES!!! (crazed laughter)
    Tomorrow is "Make Your Child Work In The Corps" Day. Be sure to bring your many rat-like offspring so we can make them do work considered unsafe for robots. Also, please note that Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day, so try to find a sufficiently tacky shirt. That is all.
  • This gem from Uka Uka:
    Uka Uka: I'll get the last laugh! (Evil Laugh) (Beat) I'm laughing now too, just in case.
  • This line.
    Cortex: Ugh, there was a piece of lettuce in the urinal. Who eats a sandwich while going to the bathroom? Seriously!
    Cortex: It was you! Ugh, I don't have time for this. Disgusting freak.
  • Aku Aku describes Uka Uka as a "jerk"... for sending their mother socks for her birthday.
    Aku Aku: Honestly! Who sends socks to a magic mask with no feet?
  • Several of Uka Uka's Boss Banter lines in Titans.
    You're only winning because I'm not used to having legs! Long, supple legs!
  • In Crash Nitro Kart, if you fall off the track as a member of Team Cortex, when pulling you out Uka Uka will occasionally chide you for falling, telling you "Try driving on the track!"
    • Also the intro cutscene when Cortex's castle is beamed away by Velo. N. Gin's instant reaction to the commotion?
    N. Gin: *shakes his fist at Tiny* What did you break now???
  • The Enemy Chatter of the minions in Titans and Mind Over Mutant, especially if you run away to a area they can't reach or when they are doing their Victory Pose when they kill you.
  • Wanna know the name they gave the first game during development? Sonic's Ass Game.
  • "Fish?........"
  • In the opening cinema in Cortex Strikes Back, Cortex lands in a cave and lights a match:
    Cortex: (Evil Laugh) Crystals! Of course! (his light goes out) ...Yipe!
  • In one cutscene of Mind Over Mutant N. Brio makes an animated diagram to explain his methods of recycling junk to help create his NV gadgets, leading to some directed Author Powers to his crude drawing of Cortex:
    Cortex: Look...there has to be a better picture of me. *Brio rubs him out and redraws him more buff and detailed* Enter my recycling program, Crash. The recycling program...of DOOM! *admires his new figure* Oh that's better, I look butch.
    • "I CREATED SLINKIES! STOP PLAYING WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE MINE!"
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