Funny: Clue

  • The desperation in Mr. Green as he attempts to prevent the cop from discovering all the corpses, from his ridiculous Captain Obvious tour of the house, to his Obfuscating Stupidity in feigning ignorance of which rooms the cop is talking about (made funnier if you take the third ending into account—he's a real cop going through ridiculous antics to prevent the sting from being ruined), culminating in his reactions to what they discover in the study and the lounge. Michael McKean's expressions have to be seen to be believed. "Because... because it's all too shocking!"
  • Mrs. White admitting that she killed Yvette, and explaining why Madeline Kahn ad-libbed the gem with the director's foreknowledge. None of her costars knew about it, however, and their reactions when to her spiel are priceless.
  • Wadsworth abusing Mr. Green during The Summation.
    Mr. Green: WILL YOU STOP THAT?!
    Wadsworth: No.
    • In the second ending, you see he's gotten wise and ducks out of the way when he demonstrates how Yvette and the Cop were killed.
    • The gagging noise Mrs. White makes when Wadsworth pretends she's Yvette and strangles her is priceless. (As is her little scream when Mr. Green commiserates with her, "I hate it when he does that!")
    • When Wadsworth lies face-down on the floor in the study to simulate Mr. Boddy, he appears to be dead. Everyone gasps and Mr. Green exclaims "Oh, grand!" before Wadsworth springs back up again, nearly giving poor Mr. Green a heart attack.
      • Miss Scarlet, however, just calmly lights up her cigarette in the darkness.
    • When Wadsworth falls out of the meat locker in the Kitchen, Mr. Green catches him, then simply drops him onto the floor in exasperation.
      • Even better, Wadsworth continues his exposition without missing a beat from his position on the floor.
    • When Wadsworth leaps out from behind the secret passage painting in the study and chases Mr. Green with an imaginary candlestick to re-enact Boddy's death, listen closely: he actually does a laughter version of "Na na na-na na!"
    • Wadsworth shooing Mrs. Peacock to her chair during the explanation, managing to get her to squawk to reenact her screaming.
      • After he reenacts Mr. Green's slapping of her, he imitates Green's meek "I had to stop her from screaming" and mimes pushing glasses up his nose. Look behind him, and you can see the real Mr. Green doing the same.
    • Mr. Green walking nonchalantly out of the bathroom after Wadsworth has thrown him in there (simulating the killer hiding Mr. Boddy's body), drying his hands on a towel and accompanied by the sound of a toilet flushing.
  • "I...am...your singing telegram..." *BAM*
  • "I didn't know it was that free."
  • A good portion of the humor during The Summation comes from the madcap soundtrack, which unsurprisingly is quite vaudevillian in nature.
  • The first ending.
    Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
    Ms. Scarlet: Oh, come on, you don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick?
    Wadsworth: It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the Study; two for the chandelier; two at the Lounge door and one for the singing telegram.
    Ms. Scarlet: That's not six!
    Wadsworth: 1 + 2 + 2 + 1.
    Ms. Scarlet: Uh-uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier. It's 1 + 2 + 1 + 1.
    Wadsworth: Even if you are right, that would be 1 + 1 + 2 + 1, not 1 + 2 + 1 + 1.
    Ms. Scarlet: ...'kay, fine. 1 + 2 + 1SHUT UP! The point is, there's one bullet left in this gun and guess who's gonna get it!
    • After shooting the last bullet at the chandelier.
    Wadsworth: (quietly) 1 + 2... + 1...
    Ms. Scarlet: +1.
    Col. Mustard: +2... +1... Is...
  • The second ending.
    Wadsworth: "We always get our man!"
    Mr. Green: "Mrs. Peacock was a man?!" *Proceeds to get Dope Slapped by both Wadsworth and Col. Mustard.*
  • When Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard are locked in the lounge with the dead motorist, and the others are trying to get the door open.
    Professor Plum: The door's locked!
    Mr. Green: I know!
    Professor Plum: Then unlock it!
    Mr. Green: Where's the key?
    Wadsworth: (after searching his pockets) The key is gone!
    Professor Plum: Never mind about the key! Unlock the door!
    Mr. Green: (grabbing Professor Plum and shaking him) I can't unlock the door without the key! (releases Professor Plum and bangs on the door) Let us in! Let us in!
    Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard: Let us out! Let us out!
    • Then when Yvette shoots the lock to open it Col. Mustard staggers from the door screaming "I've been shot!" despite being perfectly fine.
    • Even this throwaway line, from after the door is opened:
    Mrs. White: How did you get in?
    Mr. Green: The door was locked!
    Mrs. White: It's a great trick!
  • The guests come back to the study with the dead cook, only to discover Mr. Boddy's "body" has vanished. Several of them immediately drop Mrs. Ho's front half with a very resounding thud. Then comes this exchange:
    Mrs. Peacock: What are you all staring at?
    Mr. Green: Nothing.
    Mrs. Peacock: Well who's there?
    Colonel Mustard: Nobody.
    Mrs. Peacock: What do you mean?
    Wadsworth: Nobody. No Boddy, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body, it's gone!
    Mrs. White: Maybe he wasn't dead.
    Professor Plum: He was.
    Mrs. White: We should have made sure.
    Mrs. Peacock: How? By cutting his head off, I suppose.
    Mrs. White: That wasn't called for.
  • The guests trying to make the dead bodies seem alive for the benefit of the cop. Especially Miss White making out with the corpse on the sofa!
  • "To make a long story short—"
    • "Too late!"
  • Colonel Mustard's investigation of the kitchen culminates in him opening a closet, suspecting a body or the murderer or anything, diving his head forward to make sure nothing escapes him... only to get bonked on the head by a pull-out counter.
    • He also manages to hit his head on the underside of the dining room table after the power is turned off.
  • The "is there anyone else in the house" argument. "No meaning yes?"
    Mustard: Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?
    Wadsworth: ...No.
    Mustard: Then there is someone else in this house?
    Wadsworth: Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes."
    Mustard: "No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer; is there someone else, or isn't there? Yes or no?
    Wadsworth: No.
    Mustard: "No, there is," or "no, there isn't?"
    Wadsworth: Yes.
    Mrs. White: [shatters glass] PLEASE!
    Mustard: Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in this house!
    Wadsworth: I told you, there isn't.
    Mustard: There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anybody else?
    Wadsworth: Either! Or both.
    Mustard: Just give me a clear answer!
    Wadsworth: Certainly! [Beat] What was the question?
    Mustard: Is there anybody else in this house?
    All: No!
    Mustard: [Dismissively] ...well, that's what he says...but does he know?
    • Immediately following this, Mrs. White cuts off the argument with a shrieked "PLEASE!" as she smashes her brandy glass against the mantelpiece. Madeline Kahn's inflections are priceless.
    Mrs. White: Shouldn't we get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here?! (smashes glass in the fire)
    • Also, Mrs. Peacock:
    Mrs. Peacock: Look, that man doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half an hour! The police will be here by then, and THERE ARE TWO DEAD BODIES IN THE STUDY!!
    Everyone: Shhhhhh!
  • "I'm not shouting!" (Looks around at everyone.) "Alright, I am! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUT-- (Thunk)"
  • This exchange:
    Colonel Mustard: Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests!?
    Colonel Mustard: That's right!
    • And this one:
    Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
    Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?
    Colonel Mustard: Yours.
    Mrs. White: Five.
    Colonel Mustard: Five?
    Mrs. White: Yes, just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.
    Colonel Mustard: You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies!
    Mrs. White: Flies are where men are most vulnerable.
    Colonel Mustard: Right!
  • The guests becoming less and less concerned for the care of the corpses as the movie goes on. When the cook dies, they take great care not to aggravate the deadly injury. By they time they get to the singing telegram girl, they simply drop her face-first on the floor from waist-height. And by the time they find Yvette's body, they simply walk into the billiards room, stare at her for a few seconds, then leave without even taking the body with them.
  • Mr. Green and Yvette have been sent up to the attic to search for the murderer. Upon reaching the steps, they both stay frozen at the bottom, staring up into the attic for quite some time (even still doing so after a cut-away and back with Miss Scarlet and Colonel Mustard), despite Mr. Green unconvincingly stating there wasn't anyone up there. When next shown, Yvette tries to reassure him by saying she'll be "right behind him" ("That's why I'm nervous"), leading them to finally decide to go up the narrow staircase together side by side. The ridiculously awkward way they manage this (complete with quite the Panty Shot from Yvette) has to be seen to be believed.
    • Prior to that, they're getting themselves set apart in pairs in the kitchen. Professor Plum is looking around finding his match, and it's Mrs. Peacock. What he says to her is priceless.
    Professor Plum: It's you and me, honeybunch.
    Mrs. Peacock: Oh, God...
  • Similarly, Plum and Peacock at the top of the basement stairs, understandably reluctant to go down:
    Prof. Plum.: What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death?
    Mrs. Peacock: No, just death. Isn't that enough?
  • In the study, after Mr. Green has stopped Mrs. Peacock from screaming over the possibly-poisoned brandy, they all examine the broken glass and decide they'll never know if it was poisoned. "Unless," Mr. Green points out, "she dies too." Cue the guests running over to surround Mrs. Peacock and intently study her for signs of impending death, while she stares at them like they're utterly mad.
  • The discussion of Mrs. White's husband and his untimely end:
    Mrs. White: He was found dead on the floor, his head had been cut off, and so had his...you know...
    • Shortly afterwards:
    Wadsworth: But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared!
    Mrs. White: That was his job. He was an illusionist.
    Wadsworth: But he never re-appeared!
    Mrs. White: He wasn't a very good illusionist!
    • The Novelization makes this even funnier by noting that Wadsworth sounded like Ralph Edwards from This is Your Life.
  • "What's this? Another door?" *turns handle and gets hit by shower water*
  • This exchange:
    Wadsworth: I suggest we take to cook's body into the study.
    Colonel Mustard: Why?
    Wadsworth: I'm the butler, I like to keep the kitchen tidy.
  • When Wadsworth confronts Mrs. White (the first time) about her having known Yvette:
    Wadsworth: You knew Yvette, didn't you? Don't deny it.
    Mrs. White: What do you mean, don't deny it? I'm not denying anything.
    Wadsworth: Another denial!
    (Mrs. White Blows a Raspberry)
  • This part after Wadsworth reveals himself to be Mr. Boddy always makes this troper giggle:
    Prof. Plum: WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! Who did I kill?!
    Wadsworth: My butler.
    Prof. Plum: Aw, shucks.
  • "But there's still one thing I don't understand." "One thing?"