Funny / Clueless

  • This gem from the P.E. scene:
    Amber: My plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose!
    Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.
  • Christian asks Cher if she likes Billie Holiday. She responds, "I love him!"
  • A random boy tries to hug Cher, who responds by shoving him away with a very hammy utterance of her catchphrase, "Ugh! As if!"
  • Cher's description of Amber: "She's a Monet! You know, looks okay from far away, but up close, she's just a big ol' mess!"
  • Mel is unimpressed by Cher's skimpy designer outfit she wears for her date:
    Mel: Cher, get in here!
    Cher: Yes, Daddy?
    Mel: What the hell is that?
    Cher: A dress.
    Mel: Says who?
    Cher: Calvin Klein.
  • When Cher gets mugged, the mugger than orders her to get down on the ground. Cher responds she can't because of her dress; it's "like, a totally important designer."
    • His response: "And I will totally shoot you in the head. Get down!"
  • The scene are the party where Dionne freaks out about about Murray shaving his head:
    Dionne: Why do you care what he thinks, Murray? I'm the one who has to look at you! What am I gonna do with you now? And right before the yearbook pictures? What am I gonna tell my grandchildren? You know what? That's it...
    Murray: That's it!
    Dionne: You wanna play games?
    Murray: You wanna play games?
    Dionne: I'm calling your mother!
    Murray: Wait! Don't call my mom! Don't call my mom...
  • Cher's having her driving test, but she's pretty terrible at it, accidentally scraping a parked car and knocking the side mirror off.
    Cher: Oops! Should I write them a note?
  • When Christian shows up to take Cher out on a date:
    Mel: Hey, you! I Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and shovel. I doubt anybody would miss you.
  • When Cher manipulates and argues her way into higher grades:
    Mel: What'd you do? Turn in some extra-credit reports?
    Cher: No.
    Mel: You take the mid-terms over?
    Cher: Uh-uh.
    Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
    Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
    Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.
    • Not too unjustified considering that he's a litigator - a lawyer whose job is to argue cases rather than settle or research.
  • "Why should I listen to you anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive."