Funny / Civilization


  • In Call To Power, destroying an enemy lawyer unit with a fusion tank.
    Fusion tank: [Powers up railgun]
    Lawyer: [Brandishing a writ] You're served!
    Fusion tank: [ZAP]
  • The infamous "spearman vs. tank" battles that resulted in the icon on Civfanatics - it's a burning tank with a confused Emoticon next to a rejoicing spearman.
  • Civ IV features Leonard Nimoy narrating a famous quote each time you research a technology. When you research satellites, he quotes Sputnik: "Beep... beep... beep... beep...."
  • Great People-related anachronisms can be quite hilarious. "Li Bo (Great Artist) was born in Tenochtitlan", while already rather weird, wouldn't have looked nearly as insane if Li Bo wasn't wearing a white Elvis suit.
    • "Hernan Cortes (Great General) was born in Tenochtitlan!"
      • J Edgar Hoover, Great Spy, in a ninja suit.
    • Muhammad (Great Prophet) is used to establish Christianity in 600BC
  • Starting from at least Civ IV, both Angkor Wat and Chichen Itza are represented both as wonders and as cities for the Khmer/Siamese and Mayans, respectively. They can even exist simultaneously, so you could have the ridiculous situation where the Mayans capture Chichen Itza from Angkor Wat, after they just finished building Angkor Wat in Chichen Itza.
    • Relatedly, Theodora's diplomacy screen in V shows the Hagia Sophia, even if you built the Hagia Sophia yourself.
  • Gandhi threatening you with nuclear weapons.
    • In Civ V, the AI has various traits between 1~10 scores. Different leaders had different "tendencies" in these scores which vary between games by 1-2 points in either direction. For example, America's likelihood to conquer city-states is an average 4 but between games can vary between 2 and 6 in value. Mahatma Gandhi's "Use Of Nukes" score in Civ V is a hard-fixed 12! In a 10-rank system! The bug from the original game set Gandhi's aggressiveness at 1, but if it was lowered beyond 0 (for example, if his country's government type was a democracy) it rolled over to 255 out of 10.
    • Any time another Civ asks the player for help in a war against Gandhi, particularly if the aforementioned Indian hasn't actually done anything of particular threat. Having them declare him as a "Threat to the stability of the world" comes off as hilariously meta. For extra humor, play as a domination-inclined Civ like Bismarck or Montezuma; having someone like Elizabeth ask them of all people for help against Gandhi is really, REALLY funny.
    • In Civ VI, Gandhi's secret agenda has an increased chance of being 'Nuke Happy'.
  • The names of the achievements in Civ V.
    • If you fail to build enough wonders before the other cultures do (once another culture finishes a wonder, you lose the chance to finish yours), you earn an achievement called "Seriously?!"
    • A (never implemented) achievement is called "Cat Fight". You get it by being a female leader and declaring war on every other female leader on the map at once.
    • What's the achievement for killing an enemy spy trying to steal a technology? Whack a Mole.
    • If you win a science victory as Poland, the achievements will tell you that, yes, Poland can into space.
  • The description of the Giant Death Robot in Civilization V:
    The “mech” is a giant bipedal mechanical robot armed with a variety of missiles, Gatling gun arms, laser-beam eyes, and a deadly kung-fu punch. Although not currently found on the modern battlefield, no doubt across the world governments and evil corporations are secretly developing these metal behemoths even as we speak. When these mechs come into service, all of the world’s other weaponry will become obsolete, and humanity’s fate will be decided by a climactic battle between armies of good and evil mechs in the streets of downtown Tokyo. (Assuming that the giant radioactive monsters don’t get us first.)
  • Kinda dark, when a humble worthless puny pathetic civilization destroyed in the players superior awesome technologically advanced military for the sake of resource or just for -ehem- "fun", just want to make you laugh maniacally evil.
    • Even when they instigate and crash their army into your superior defenses, it can still evoke this. Having too many delegates in the World Congress and taking unfair advantage of it is also pretty funny.
  • In Civilization II, the Entertainment advisor in the Modern era is an Elvis Impersonator. In ancient times, you instead have... the same Elvis Impersonator, but wearing a toga.
  • Loading up a mod that lets you play as Poland and trashing the hell out of the barbarian city of... Aryan.
  • In Civilization 5, whenever Montezuma is angry with you.
    Pacal (Attacked): He ha ha ha ha ha ha.
    • Funnier still, is if you get a generic "You fool, you have made a terrible mistake," message when you do so - as if the game is warning you for declaring war against him.
  • In V, find a city state at total war with a major civ. Gift the city state a lot of highly advanced units, and they may be able to conquer the major civ's cities, keeping the ones with wonders and burning the rest to the ground.
  • "You have discovered scrolls of ancient wisdom." "Robotics" (Or for some meta fun "Writing")
    • In a similar vein, in Revolution, moving into the space where a friendly village has a chance of finishing research on whatever technology you're working on discovering. Whatever technology. Even "Space Flight" or the nebulous "Future Technology". There's a lot more going on under those straw roofs than you might guess.
    • On the opposite end of the spectrum, you might defeat a Barbarian Village and be rewarded with a "strange sea-going craft": The Galley. It's the weakest watercraft both offensively and defensively, it's tied with the Submarine for lowest Movement ability, and it's the only one that cannot venture into deep water. Kinda makes you wonder how he'd react to Cruisers and Battleships... which might very well be around when you get this reward.
  • The Civ IV: Warlords Teleconferences, in which George W. Bush and Tony Blair deal with the expansion's new features.
  • This hidden movie in Civ III.
  • Also in Civ III, if you play on Elvis's birthday (January 8th) all the king units become Elvis.
    • After this Easter egg occurs, you can find a unit called Jaimo who is based off of one of the staff for Civ III. He attacks by slapfighting and does disco dancing when he wins.
  • Some strategic resources can only be seen rather late into the game, sometimes where you least expect. For example, finding out the location of your first uranium deposit is the same place as your first farm.
  • A bit meta, but the fact that Siam's unique building in V (the Wat) was involved in an infamous early glitch, and is still abused along with Legalism in some strategies makes its name all the more amusing ("Four free universities. Wat.").
  • In Civilization V multiplayer under the diplomacy tab, there is an easily accessible "Declare War" button right next to each player's name. This often results in accidental declarations of war.
  • The leader screens in Civ VI have one or two funny moments as well.
    • Upon first meeting Frederick Barbarossa, he introduces himself by listing all of the lands he rules over — Germany, Italy, Burgundy... — before seemingly forgetting the rest and waving it off, saying, "and many, many more."
    • When you receive a denunciation from the English empire, you are treated to the sight of Her Majesty, Queen Victoria... throwing a tantrum like an upset teenager.
    • Speaking of Queen Victoria, when you declare war she will say in the most uninterested tone of voice "We are not amused..."
    • In contrast to the many examples of Teddy Roosevelt in fiction where he's deafeningly loud, this version has a historically accurate depiction based on existing audio of his speeches. Hearing his high, reedy voice coming out of such a big man can catch a first-time player unaware.
  • In VI several tech descriptions (like for Sanitation) are from Monthy Python. That's funny enough in itself. Now imagine Sean Bean of all people reading the "What have the Romans ever done for us" quote.
  • Several of the Steam achievements in VI are all about performing actions that highlight the absurdity of the game mechanics, so as airdropping a unit of ancient-era slingers. One of them hangs a lampshade on the lot - the achievement for having a Roman Legion clear some nuclear contamination is "Missed that day in history class".
  • On the rare occasion that Gandhi declares war on you in Civilization VI, this is what he'll say:
  • In Civilization VI, Poland's culture-bomb ability will destroy any incomplete wonder occupying a stolen tile. The name of the achievement for doing so? You Are a Terrible Person.

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