- The Establishing Character Moment for Feeney and Cory.
Mr. Feeney: A candy bar? Doesn't your mother feed you a proper breakfast?
Cory: Oh yeah, she does. Now I gotta get the taste of this shredded wheat out of my mouth.
Mr. Feeney: You know, you're not doing your body any favors loading up on junk like that.
: Oh thanks, Mr. Feeney. And please enjoy that high-vitamin astronaut drink you're
: There's no gravity in space, Mr. Matthews, therefore astronauts suck up
. Learn from them.
- In "Cory's Alternative Friends," when Mr. Feeny assigns Shawn and Minkus as partners, both facepalm in unison.
- Cory's dad keeps having to bail on planned father-son bonding because of emergencies at the store - a flood of broken Perrier bottles meeting a hundred thousand Alka-seltzer tablets, a grease fire because someone put lighter fluid next to the rotisserie cookers...but it's his reaction to these that sells it.
Alan: [shrugs] Just a small grease fire. Tomorrow we'll have a sale on blackened chicken.
- In "Class Pre-Union," Topanga states that in her future, she will be the president of the US, which will now be a matriarchy, with all the men being moved underground solely to be used for breeding.
- In the last scene, Alan and Amy start kissing, only to find Cory filming them.
- In "Santa's Little Helper," Cory's explanation of what Dickens was trying to say through A Christmas Carol:
Cory: If you're a real butthead, the neat ghost will take you to cool places.
- "On the first day of Christmas, I murdered Santa Claus..."
- Minkus's freak-out about getting a question wrong in "Once in Love with Amy."
- "Hey great, a water gun in December. I'll be the little boy spreading pneumonia!"
- From "Model Family"
Eric: [lounging on the kitchen island] Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
- Later in the episode, Cory's mom and dad have refrained from interfering at Amy's request, letting Eric decide on his own to get his money back from what appears to be a modeling scam. Eric comes back having signed up for it as a career.
Amy: Alan, I'm letting you out of your cage.
Alan: [tosses his paper over his head] Thank you! [runs after Eric]
- Alan then gives Eric a surprisingly reasonable talking-to about how he should really think it through before trying to be a model. Eric's reaction?
Eric: [after a three-second pause] I want to be a supermodel.
Alan: Yes really. I am not the type of father who dismisses his son's well-considered aspirations with some quickly tossed-off parental negativity.
Cory: That's it?
Alan: Shut up!
- The other plot in the episode focuses around a family project Cory is working on, and Feeney's point that there are no ''perfect'' parents, and life doesn't come with a script.
Cory: I guess it's easy to sound smart when you have the best writers in Hollywood writing everything you say.
- In the episode tag of the first season finale, Cory and Shawn focus all their energy to make Minkus disappear. Made funnier by the fact that they don't see him again until graduation. Or possibly Fridge Horror.
- The second season episode "Me and Mr. Joad," where Cory attempts to start a seventh grade student union and lead a school walkout. His singing to the tune of an old Garment Workers Union jingle sells it even more. And to go along with that—what does Shawn want with his steak? MACARONI!
- From the same episode, Mr. Turner learning that Feeny lives next door to the Matthews:
Turner: Face it guys: Feeny's not going to go away. He's going to be all over your case. You turn around, he's going to be there. (looks out Matthews' back door window; sees Feeny tending his garden) Now that's scary. You guys live next door to a principal?
Amy: It's not something we brag about.
Turner: (heading outside) George? You live next door to Matthews?
- Several of the interviews in "Wake Up Little Cory" when Cory and Topanga are working on their project for The Scarlet Letter
- The failed attempt to interview Feeny:
Cory: What's your opinion on love and sex?
Feeny: My opinion is, not on school property?
- After Mr. Turner say sex can't exist without love:
Cory: Have you ever been in love?
Mr. Turner: Not yet
Cory: So have you ever had, you know?
Mr. Turner: What?
Cory: You said you know what can't exist without love and if you've had you know what and you weren't in love then you know what must've not been good.
Mr. Turner: Hey, who are you? Mike Wallace?
- And after Amy compares sex to voting
Alan: Sex is just like voting, you go behind the curtain, do your thing, and do it again, in 4 years.
- The Roller Coaster scene.
- Mister Feeney has yanked Cory and Shawn off the school radio for having tossed aside the approved script and instead turning their program into a hook-up show. Later, in his class, he announces what the next day's lesson will be: The Bill of Rights.
- In "By Hook or By Crook," Shawn standing up to his giant Uncle John to get Mr. Turner a fair price on repairs for his bike.
Shawn: You treat him right, okay?
Uncle John: Like family.
- And after the guy hands Turner a $1500 bill after an estimate of $300, Shawn intervenes again.
Shawn: This is my teacher. And if you hurt him, I hurt you.
Uncle John: Is that a threat?
- Shawn hitting on Topanga in "Hair Today, Goon Tomorrow"
Shawn: She's my best friend's girl, she's my best friend's girl. Oh, to heck with it. Marry me! I live in a trailer park and have no education, but my hair does this! (runs hands through hair as audience cheers)
Shawn: Shut up, man! I'm going for it!(Cory sprays Shawn with a water bottle) Thanks,thanks. I'm back.
Cory: Good. (turns to talk to Topanga as Shawn does a "call me" sign over his shoulder)
- When Cory thinks Shawn is having sex before he and Topanga are and asks Eric for advice:
Cory: Tell me about your first time.
Eric: Remember Mitchell Davis?
Cory: Now there's an unexpected twist. Tell me about your second time.
- "Shallow Boy" - the whole episode's funny but there's one scene where Eric's trying to let Purity Sue songwriter Corinna down easy but she's off in her own world.
- Corinna: "I had a goldfish who died." Eric: "Suicide, was it?"
- "CHECK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE BRING ME A CHECK!"
- Oh it gets better, after he in no uncertain terms dumps her she ends up going Goth and writing angry and humiliating songs about him. He has to end up going back out with her again (which she agrees to because she was running out of material) and he forces her into a Heel–Face Turn by singing "Tomorrow" with her. And to top it off, there's the credits, where Eric is listening to the radio & Corinna's new Lighter and Softer song is played, only to cut the song off within seconds.
DJ: Wow, that's bad! She's over!
Eric smirks & laughs evilly.
- Let's not forget the awesome song Morgan comes out singing:
He's a loser freak, loser freak. He's a maladjusted loser freak. He's a woman-hating, maladjusted loser freak!...And he doesn't like girls 'cause he's afraid of them, afraid of them! I think he likes boys if you know what I'm saying.
- After Eric dismisses the possibility that Corinna's new darker sound is down to him after the name of one of the songs on her album is read to him, the next song title in track listing is read out & makes it perfectly clear that the songs are about Eric.
Track number 2: "Eric Matthews - You're So Vain
You Probably Didn't Know The Song Before This Was About You
- Mr. Feeny reading Eric's one-man play: "'The hot wind howled, like a howling... hot... windy thing.'"
- Feeny goes out of town for a weekend and Shawn opens up a bed and breakfast in his house. The entire plot is hilarious with Cory wondering what is wrong with the universe that Shawn appears to be getting away with it before Feeny reveals the cab driver gave them away ("The cab driver! I forgot to deport the cab driver!")... but then during the end credits, Feeny is trying to get the couple who missed check-out out of his bedroom (the honeymoon suite) and Topanga, who was dressed up as the maid through it all walks into frame, sees Feeny, her eyes go wide, and she turns right around, completely unseen by him.
- The looks on Shawn and Topanga's faces when the judge offers Cory a balloon dog or hat.
- Cory disguised as a crusty waitress in "Chick Like Me". "My hosiery is bunching!"
- "Please pay at the register honey, and tipping is not a city in China!". Ben Savage's delivery of that line was perfect.
- Earlier in that episode when Cory first dresses up as a girl when he says "I knew it, I look fat". It's a simple line but Ben Savage's delivery makes it hilarious.
- Cory being told that he will die if anything happens to Topanga on their trip. By his own father. Cory's response is an indignant "You like her better than me!" and Alan smiling & nodding.
- In the episode A Affair To Forget, Shawn dates a girl who doesn't want him to see Cory anymore. The scene where he talks to Cory secretly on the phone, only to have them argue over who will hang up first, than long for each other silently on both ends of the phone is laugh out loud funny.
- In the sixth season premiere, while Cory and Topanga take off to elope, Feeny relays the story of the time he tried to separate Cory and Topanga's desks in first grade:
Feeny: "She kicked me, he bit me, and some little punk kept saying 'Leave them alone. They should get married.'"
Shawn: "I was cute then, huh?"
- "Only creeps and weirdos are awake now." [Door opens] "How're you doin'?" Turns out the creeps and weirdos are Shawn, Eric, and Feeny."
- "You brought pudding to college!"
- Cory gets a lot of these later on when he becomes crazier and more neurotic. Most notably his complete breakdown after Shawn kisses Topanga for a college video: UNDAHPANTS!!!
- Eric singing "Little Cabin in the Woods" to cheer Rachel up.
- Cory's dorktastic love poems to Topanga in "Poetic License: An Ode to Holden Caulfield".
- Cory's attempt at writing his own wedding vows in "We'll Have A Good Time Then". "Sometimes, two people who love each other are in love, and because of that love, they love each other."
- "Bee True" from Season 6 is filled with them, thanks to it following a series of sombre episodes.
- Eric beckoning Feeny in the Student Union.
Eric: Feeny! You here, sit now!
Mr. Feeny: Eric, don't use that ton—
Eric: Dean Bolander.
Mr. Feeny: [Sits down] Okay, what've you got?
- Cory, Shawn & Eric's extended The Godfather parody.
- "You could get any girl with the world's first brain!"
- Eric asking who knows who Feeny loves, and the entire class responding with "The Dean!"
Mr. Feeny: (annoyed) All right, everybody out!
*Cue everyone but Mr. Feeny and Eric leaving the classroom
- "You're in a triangle, Feeny! [Makes a square as he says triangle] And take it from someone who has been in a triangle before, he who hesitates is lost. RACHEL!"
- Cory & Shawn's master plan taking effect.
Cory & Shawn: [Absolutely deadpan] Oh no. It's Feeny.
Mr. Feeny: What's going on in here?
Shawn: We didn't break this stuff.
Mr. Feeny: Then who did?
Cory: YOU DID!
Shawn: And we're telling!
- Dean Bolander, on Topanga and Angela's suggestion that perhaps she needs to make her interest in Feeny more obvious:
Bolander: I hiked up my skirt at the seminar!
- In "The Truth About Honesty", Shawn and Angela attempt to have no strings attached sex but before they can get anywhere Shawn tells her he loves her, which leads to this exchange:
Aw man, I Cory'd
this up didn't I?
Angela: You had to go and get heavy, Shawn - didn't you?
Shawn: No, I'm not getting heavy, Angela, I just think that an emotional commitment is the proper foundation for OH MY GOD I'M BOTH OF THEM!
- After Cory and Topanga and Shawn and Angela have broken up:
Cory: I believe in love like I believe in God. You can't see it. You can't touch it, but you know it's there because you can feel its wrath."
Shawn: And goodness. You can feel love's goodness.
Cory: I wouldn't know.
- Eric and Jack versus Rachel, Topanga and Angela in a wrestling competition for the apartment. With Mankind as the referee.
- Every scene with Eric in the episode where Shawn tries to impress Angela's father is hilarious.
(Eric misses in his attempt at attacking Topanga and lands on the floor)
Eric: (feebly) Help.
Mr. Feeny: I quit. I just do.
- When Cory gets unusually excited for he and Topanga's honeymoon:
Topanga: So you're just marrying me so you can consummate our relationship?
Cory: Me and 900 million other guys!
Topanga: Cory, I'm beginning to think you'd be fine if we spent our honeymoon in any old hotel.
Cory:' Or in the road...
Topanga: Cory, that's sick!
Cory: "That's sick?" I'm sick?! You know what's "sick", everyone?! We have been in a relationship for seventeen years, and DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE GOTTEN IN ALL THAT TIME?! LET ME TOUCH SOMETHING!!!
- As Cory prepares for his wedding with Topanga, Shawn might not end up as the best man, so Eric tries to win Cory over... Hilarity Ensues. Watch here:
- The second part is arguably funnier - Cory's parents try to make Cory have Eric as his best man. Cory just sits there, knowing what's coming.
Alan: Eric's out, Shawn's in!
Amy: The baby! Someone save the baby!
Eric: Sparklers are fun.
- Eric declaring that if he can't be the best man at Cory's wedding, he's going to be the groom & proceeding to propose to Topanga. Once Eric's finished, an exasperated Cory simply says "Get him" & a screaming Topanga lunges at him.
- What he says in his "proposal" to her though: "Topanga, marry me and let's make nick-nick!"
- "There are some people who shall remain nameless...CORY MOMMY AND DADDY! Who believe I'm not Best Man material."
- "HA HA, SHAWN'S POOR!"
- Cory grabbing the key to the honeymoon suite out of Eric's hand, grabbing Topanga, and all but sprinting out of the ballroom as she whoops.
- Jack mentioning that being a hero would look good on his resume.
Eric: That sounds a little hostile, but I wish you well!
Jack: Aw, now I feel bad...[the two hug]
- In "The War," the prank war divides the group - and Eric objects. To Feeny. Who responds completely deadpan.
- In "Seven the Hard Way," Eric imagines what will happen to the group if they don't settle their current, very bitter disagreements. Eric himself is portrayed as a nutty recluse, having changed his name to "Plays with Squirrels."
Eric: I married a moose. [To Cory & Topanga, smugly] We don't need counseling.
Mr. Feeney: Mr. Matthews?
Eric: Mr. Squirrels.
Eric: Plays With.
- And followed up by Feeney's reaction: "All right, everyone. I'll see you at my funeral."
- Topanga gets some good moments when she gets so fed up with Cory and Shawn still getting along despite everyone else fighting and starts calling Shawn "His lovah!"
- Chet, Shawn and Jack's dad, gets some great lines in the series, especially in ghost form.
I got two stupid boys! Y'all embarrass me in front of my dead friends!
- In the finale, Eric does one last "Feeny call" before a montage plays of his best "Feeny calls" from over the years: FEE-HEE-HEE-HEEEENAY!
- As big a combined Tear Jerker and Crowning Moment of Heartwarming the whole episode was, this little exchange between Cory and Mr. Feeny in The Finale never ceases to make this troper laugh.
Mr. Feeny: So, Mr. Matthews...
Cory: Think we've known each other long enough for you to call me "Cory"?
) I think we've known each other long enough for me to call you "Cornelius"
Cory: SHHH! Mr. Feeny, not even Topanga knows that!