- Oh look Knackers...... Eddie then proceeds to kick Richies knackers in various humorous ways... - Hooligans Island
- Anytime in the stage shows that Rik and Ade break out of character.
Richie: Oh Eddie! Think what we're missing, like a script!
Eddie: Well, we're not missing a script; it's just that you can't fucking remember it!
Richie: Oh Eddie!
Eddie: And every time you can't remember it you go, Oh Eddie!
Richie: Oh Eddie, fuckin'... A-ha!
Eddie: He probably hasn't got the right one.
Richie: Oh fuck!
- Best example is in Hooligan's Island when the Japanese WW2 bunker is accidentally revealed in Act 1 rather than Act 2. Rik cracks up, and takes roughly about 5 minutes to recompose himself to a point where they can actually continue with the show.
- "There was little mistake there, wasn't there? Did you spot it? Bastards."
- The "sad and tragic news" scene in the first show is very much similar.
- When a Frenchman appears on the beach in Live 3, Eddie says he left a 8ft long kayak on the beach. Richie thinks he meant the Frenchman left a turd there.
- There's also this scene from the second live show.
- Eddie getting shat on by an albatross. Ade breaks character just to get his point across about how irritating the scene, and continues in a sarcastic tone.
- He does try to distract the audience with how rubbish the albatross looks so he can skip the scene. It doesn't work thanks to Rik.
Eddie: He's not in very good form is he? Perhaps we should skip the albatross this evening.
Richie: No....Go and stand on your special mark.
- Richie being revealed to be wearing a pair of Y-fronts made from a pair of washing up gloves with the thumb stuck up his rear end.
- The ending to the last live show where the meaning of everything is apparently pants and the two try to get the audience to take off their pants.
- From the second show:
Richie: Eddie get downstairs immediately. I've got the sprouts.
Eddie: Go and see a doctor.
Richie: Eddie come and help me unload my vegetables.
Eddie: I shall do no such thing you foul pervert.
Are you finished? It's just that I'm beginning to understand why Stephen Fry
fucked off. note
- "Alright me skip jap flip flap slippy dip lipstick oh look Mrs Jones Bomber Harris tweed cat in hat it might be raining Achtung baby psycho ward 10 minutes please gentlemen it's the lavvy express thunderpants are go!"
- Eddie enters a Special K competition.
- This from the second live show:
Richie: So here I am in the witness box spikey spikey huge dangling knob, everything's great.
Eddie: Gonna get a stand in for that are you? Normally they'd just have a body double but in your case it'd probably have to be a body treble wouldn't it? (Richie bows to Eddie in worship)
- From the third live show:
Richie: (after being hit on the knob with a poison dart) Eddie read that last bit again.
Richie: No, read more than that.
Eddie: Oh, "Snnnd."
Richie: Give it here, I'll do it myself. "The. Dart. Is. Poi. Son. Ed." Oh fate! Oh nemesis!
Eddie: Oh fuck!
- When the audience participate in the second live show:
Audience: HAVE A WANK!!
Richie: Welcome to sophisticated Oxford!
- "Now you listen to me, buster! You're just a door! I'm Rik-[Thrust!]-Fucking-[Thrust!]-Mayall! CLOSE!"
- The duo's parrot getting attacked by seagulls and suffering a heart attack in An Arse Oddity. The pair try to revive him and hilarity ensues.
- This goes for the series too but anytime Eddie and Richie get into a fight its hilarious esp the fight with the saw and the fire extinguisher in one of the stage shows...
- When Eddie mentions knowing a Pat O'Cake, Rik and Ade are barely able to compose themselves throughout the rest of the joke.
Richie: Pat O'Cake?
Eddie: *trying not to laugh* *to audience* Shut up...
Richie: Pat O'Cake?
Eddie: *nods* Pat O'Cake!
Richie: *laughing* Baker's man?
Eddie: That's the one!
Eddie: Oh I love that gag...
Richie: What a sad, lonely life you must lead..
Eddie: I'm afraid it is!
- When Rik flubs yet another line during the second live stage show and the audience laughs...
Richie: Fuck off home! I don't go down to where you work and laugh at you! Bastards!
- When Rik slips up and accidentally punches Ade in the balls.
Eddie: *high pitched* It's all right, Richie, I've got three fucking kids already.
Richie: Hey, tell you what, how about we cut the rest of this scene and go to the pub?
Eddie: No no... it's my turn. Stand there you cunt.
- The whole camping trip from "Bottom's Out".
- The outtake tape known as "Fluff".
Richie: I think there's something outside.
Eddie: Well there's bound to be something outside. You cant expect the universe and its entire contents to be constained well fuck bastard bollocky bums!
Richie: He couldn't do it in rehearsals either.
- Eddie drinking a full bottle of bleach and Richie dragging him upstairs by the legs, on a rope, whilst singing his own version of "The Sailor's Hornpipe". See the trivia page.
- This quote, and the many others of its kind:
Eddie: Rightey dokey, matey-bloke-flap-old-salty-seadog-amigo-skip-jack-jockstrap-piano-tuner, let's see you balls this one up!
- This word of advice:
Eddie: Always keep your mouth open when you're insulting a lady.
- This masterpiece of innuendo from 'Bottom's Out' when Richie is fishing:
Richie: My grandfather was a trawlerman you know.
Eddie: Oh that's what they called them in those days was it?
- Sprouts Mexicain?
- "God, what a night to get Guy Fawkes bottom!"
- This montage of Double Entendres from "Terror".
Never mind all that. How's your sausage!? Richie:
Oh you mean my sausage not my penis? Well it's a complete disaster. I mean you put it the pan you set fire to it and it gets incinerated. Eddie:
Well maybe we should eat our flakes. (holds up a pack of corn flakes
Oh right, I'm getting Double Entendre
Can I drink your Juice? Richie:
) Oh right, okay, I'm going mad this this morning. Eddie:
Someone's giving our knocker a damn good banging. Richie:
Right I'll grab my sausage and give it a good seeing to.
- The chess game from "Culture".
- During the episode "Hole", Eddie and Richie get trapped on a malfunctioning Ferris wheel scheduled for demolition. After praying to God for rescue, a giant hand comes down to carry them to safety, only for Eddie to spoil the moment with a hilarious disclaimer.
Eddie: Hang on, Rich. Although we and indeed the whole BBC respect people's rights to believe in whatever they wish, [to the camera] because we don't want to get in the shit on this one, [back to Richie] we don't actually believe in God, do we?
Richie: Tch, no.
- One of the funniest moments of physical humor has to be the liposuction scene from "Break". Basically Richie asks Eddie to give him liposuction for their upcoming holiday using nothing but a vacuum cleaner. And while he's getting liposuction, in true Bottom fashion, the vacuum sucks his penis. Just Rik's expressions and the sound effects make the scene.
Richie: Eddie! Put it on blow! Put it on blow!
Eddie: You dirty dirty bastard.
Richie: Quick Eddie, hurry! I've nearly reached the bag!
- "Edward Hitler! Come down here at once!"
- Richie and Eddie watching the Prime Minister's sex tape (which they inadvertently stole from the back of a news van) in "Carnival", and the hilariously long time it takes them to work out that it is a sex tape.note
(Richie and Eddie are watching the Prime Minister undress)
Richie: He's obviously very hot.
Eddie: ... he's obviously got a very hot todger as well. Hang on - who's she?
Richie: (squints) That must be his mummy.
Richie: Yes, yes, yes, it's obviously the Prime Minister's bedtime, yes.
Eddie: (nods) Ah, I see.
Richie: (leans forward, confused) ... now that is very unusual behaviour, isn't it.
Eddie: Well... maybe she's just chaining him to the bed... in case he falls off.
Richie: ... yes, yes, yes, that must be it, yes. And look, look, she's very hot too, look, she's... taken her dress off... (he and Eddie laugh sweetly) Aww, look! She's brought him a little present! What is that? A sort of... model of a Moon rocket, isn't it?
(both of them suddenly jump back in alarm)
Richie, Eddie: WHOAAA!!
Richie: (horrified) What did she stick it in there for!?
Eddie: ... maybe she's trying to take his temperature!
Richie: (nodding) Yes, that must be it, yes, yes, he's obviously ill, yes...
Eddie: Well! That'll be why he's so hot!
Richie: ... yes! Yes! Of course! (Eddie laughs, relieved) Look at the poor little mite! He's... groaning, and thrashing around the place!
Eddie: He's obviously got a very high fever! And that's why she's... sucking the poison out...
(they both lean closer to the television in bewilderment)
Richie: ... I wish I had a mum like that...
(later, after a second woman has arrived in the film)
Eddie: Hang on, who's she?
Richie: That must be his, his auntie... she's very friendly, isn't she?
Eddie: (points at screen) I think they must be sisters.
Richie: Yes, that'll be it, yes- no, don't sit there!
Eddie: (shocked) She can't have seen him!
Richie: He'll suffocate!
Eddie: (disgusted) I can't think that that's hygienic!...
- The scene in which Richie and Eddie meet the gas man in "Gas":
Richie: Cripes...it's the gas man!
Gas man: Hello, I was wondering if I could just read your meter?
Richie: HELLO MR GAS MAN!
Gas man: Uh, yes, hello I was wondering if I could just-
Eddie: You what?
Richie: HELLO MR GAS MAN!
Gas man: Uh, yes, hello again-
Eddie: Mr who?
Richie: GAS MAN! GAS MAN! GAS MAN!
Eddie rushes into the kitchen to turn off the oven
Gas man: Do you have someone who looks after you? Can I see them because I need. To read. Your meter!