"I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do 'must' and 'cannot' meet? Yet I must - but I cannot!"
— Ro-Man XJ2
A 1953 B-Movie
, released in 3D, by Phil Tucker, Robot Monster
is one of the most famous So Bad, It's Good
sci-fi films ever made. Simply put, it is about a family having a picnic in California and meeting an evil alien invader: the nefarious Ro-Man, who has used a special Death Ray
to destroy all humans. But the family survived by taking a special serum invented by their scientist dad
Using his amazing advanced galaxy-conquering technology — you can tell, because it emits soap bubbles at moments of high drama — Ro-Man must find a way around their defenses. The kicker is the Big Guy's also struggling with unforeseen human desires... oh, did we mention the scientist's nubile daughter? Not to mention her hunky lab assistant boyfriend, annoying younger brother and... Yeah, you figured? OK then.
So far, so run-of-the-mill. It could even be argued that hey, as compared to, say, Manos
, this thing has an actual plot (though not a good one), also a soundtrack involving the onscreen actors speaking in their own voices. But no other classic bad movie can boast of Ro-Man◊
, the titular "Robot Monster". Quoth the film's then-twentysomething auteur
, recalling the inspiration (and, not incidentally, budget) behind his lead character:"...I talked to several people that I knew who had robot suits, but it was just out of the way, money-wise. I thought, ‘Okay, I know George Barrows.’... When they needed a gorilla in a picture they called George, because he owned his own suit... I thought, ‘I know George will work for me for nothing. I’ll get a diving helmet, put it on him, and it’ll work!’"
Well... no. At least, not in the way he intended.
In his book, On Writing
, Stephen King
recalls seeing the movie as a kid, and says that he felt it was "art of quite a high nature"note
. It was also John Carpenter
's favourite film when he was a child.
For the Mystery Science Theater 3000
episode see here
Robot Monster provides examples of:
- Acting for Two: George Barrows as both Ro-Man and Great Guidance. It makes for some pretty cheesy fun, given that both characters have several conversations together but look almost exactly alike and have the exact same voice.
- Action Figure Speech: The titular aliens, looking for all the world like a guy in a gorilla suit wearing a space helmet flailed around wildly while speaking.
- After the End: It's explained that much of movie takes place after Ro-Man has (almost) completely wiped out human civilization.
- Apocalypse How: Starts off as a Class 3a, thanks to the the effect of the Calcinator Death Ray. Later upgraded to a Class X, as the Great One gets pissed off at Ro-Man's failure to kill the humans and unleashes a "Q-Ray" which completely destroys the planet.
- Evil Overlord: The Great One (who is played and voiced by the same actor who does Ro-Man, except with a slightly different helmet).
- The Faceless: Stockings, worn over the face and under the helmets, to convey the effect.
- Fail O Sucky Name: "Wyatt Ordung" was the film's screenwriter. (The bots take his name as a question, and choose "Wyatt".)
- Follow the Leader: Invaders From Mars, released a month earlier.
- Funny Foreigner: It's unknown if the Professor was supposed to be one, but he certainly sounds like it (the actor playing him, John Mylong, was Austro-Hungarian).
- Heel Face Door Slam: Ro-Man almost seems like he's going to stop being a Jerkass at the end, but the Great One has other plans.
- Iconic Characters: Ro-Man: the classic B-Movie monster of all time.
- In Name Only: Ro-Man is supposed to be short for 'robot man'.
- Kick the Dog: Ro-Man shows the family the destruction of humanity on their video screen. Why? Oh, just to make them feel shitty.
- Madness Mantra: "I must... but I cannot..."
- Mars Needs Women: Actually justified in a weird way - Ro-Man has no idea why he wants to get into Alice's pants, and while he's struggling with it Great Guidance orders him to kill her, so he goes into the Madness Mantra.
- Mechanistic Alien Culture: The film features Ro-Man... Appearing as a man in a gorilla suit with a deep sea diver's helmet, the alien invader's exact morphology is elusive. It seems to be a cyborg, it comes from an advanced civilization, it is able to resist radiation, and speaks in a typical robotic style monotone popular at the time in B-movies. However they are not simply constructs or tools, as we learn in the scene where the earth stationed Ro-Man contacts the leader of the Ro-Men, who is a similar diving helmeted gorilla-bodied biped.
- Moment Killer: The Great Guidance calls up Ro-Man at the most inopportune times....
- Name's the Same: Ro-Man XJ2 should not be confused with XJ-2, one of Jenny's older sisters.
- Real Life Writes the Plot: Ro-Man has a gorilla body because there was no money for a robot costume, and the actor playing him already owned his own gorilla suit.
- Robot Antennae: The villain Ro-Man's head is a space helmet with antennae sticking out of it.
- Rule of Three: The end? Nope, Ro-Man comes out of a cave stretching his arms at the viewer! The end? Put that funky shot again, boy! The end? Play it again, Sam!
- Shaggy Dog Story: The ending essentially renders the rest of the movie a moot point.
Ro-Man: I am ordered to kill you. I must do it with my hands.
Alice: How is it you're so strong, Ro-Man? It seems impossible.
Ro-Man: We Ro-Mans obtain our strength from the planet Ro-Man, relayed from individual energizers.
- Video Phone: Ro-Man uses a video linkup to communicate with Great Guidance on the planet Ro-Man.
- Villain Protagonist: Technically, 'Villain is the Only Character Who Isn't a Trite Cliche', but close enough.