Film: Lovers Lane

Wait... Why is Ghostface on the cover?

There's no such thing as safe sex.

Lovers Lane is a Slasher Movie released in 2000.

In 1986, a small town was shaken by the violent Valentine's Day hook murders of Harriet Anderson and Ward Lamson (who were married... but not to each other) in a secluded area nicknamed Lovers Lane. The double homicide was quickly pinned on a local oddball pervert named Ray Hennessey, who was placed in the nearby Meston State Hospital, under the care of Doctor Jack Grefe, half-brother of Sheriff Tom Anderson, Harriet's husband. He was also given the (rather unoriginal) nickname "the Hook".

Things are fine until Valentine's Day thirteen years later, when Ray escapes, killing an orderly and taking his old hook (which Doctor Grefe kept under glass in his office) in the process, leaving behind a newspaper clipping which implicates he will go after Doctor Grefe's teenaged daughter, Chloe. Despite news of the Hook's escape, a group of high school students (which includes Chloe, Janelle, Doug, Tim, Cathy, Bradley, Sheriff Anderson's daughter Mandy, and Ward Lamson's son and Chloe ex-boyfriend Michael) decide to spend the night up on Lovers Lane, boozing, partying and sexing it up without having to worry about anyone, since the only people who live anywhere close to the area are Old Man Yasgur and his wife.

Of course, the Hook, who is being tracked by the police (headed by Sheriff Anderson) and high school principal Penny Lamson (Michael's mother) cannot resist all this sweet young meat, especially when the children of his original victims are among it.

This film provides examples of the following tropes:

  • Accidental Murder: Michael unintentionally runs an injured Cathy over with a car.
  • Adaptation Expansion: Of the old "escaped hook handed maniac on the loose" urban legend.
  • Alpha Bitch: Chloe and (to a lesser extent) Cathy.
  • Artificial Limbs: While in captivity, Ray had a fake hand. He leaves it behind during his escape.
  • Auto Erotica: Goes without saying.
  • Axe Before Entering: At least three doors get hacked through.
  • Badass Mustache: Sheriff Anderson, in the opening.
  • Bald of Evil: Ray and Doctor Grefe.
  • Bedlam House: Meston State Hospital.
  • Big Bad Ensemble: Doctor Grefe and Chloe are working together, while Ray is just doing his own thing.
  • Big Damn Heroes: As Mandy and Michael are cornered by Doctor Grefe, Sheriff Anderson shows up and shoots him several times. It only slows him down, though.
  • Big Damn Villains: Ray randomly appears and kills Chloe.
  • Broken Heel: While fleeing Doctor Grefe in the opening, a couple trip due to being half-dressed.
  • Cain and Abel: Sheriff Anderson and Doctor Grefe.
  • Car Fu: See Accidental Murder above.
  • Cat Scare: Doug and Tim using ketchup to make it look like Tim was attacked. Later, Sheriff Anderson is scared by an actual cat while looking through Doctor Grefe's house. Later still, Michael and Mandy are scared by a pig while looking through the Yasgur barn.
  • Caught with Your Pants Down: Chloe catches Doug playing with himself... in a public washroom.
  • Cell Phones Are Useless: Averted. Tim's cellphone works fine in the woods, too bad he's one of the first to go. Mandy finds and uses it to contact her dad later, though.
  • The Cheerleader: Janelle, who is never seen outside of her uniform. Going against the stereotype, she's actually pretty nice.
  • Clueless Deputy: Deputy Schwick.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Michael's reaction to Mandy telling him that his father didn't die of a heart attack like his mother told him, but was murdered.
  • Completely Different Title: I'm Still Waiting For You in the UK.
  • Couldn't Find a Pen: "PRISON FOOD SUCKS"
  • Cover Drop: It depicts the scene where Michael and Mandy find Chloe lying in the middle of the road.
  • Covers Always Lie: None of the villains wear a Scream-esque White Mask of Doom like the one featured on the cover.
  • Creepy Basement
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: Janelle getting hooked in the vagina.
  • Cut Phone Lines: Presumably why the Yasgurs' phone is dead.
  • Daddy's Little Villain: Chloe.
  • Dangerous Windows: Doctor Grefe punches through some to try and get to both Janelle and Mandy.
  • Danger Takes a Backseat: Chloe is revealed to be one of the killers when she dons a hook and attacks Michael from the backseat of a car.
  • Death by Mocking: Tim and Cathy, and Doug if pranks count as mocking.
  • Death by Sex: Played straight with Bradley, but surprisingly averted with the couple in the opening.
  • Developing Doomed Characters
  • Distracted by the Sexy: In order to keep Doug occupied while Mandy sets his broken leg, Janelle lifts her shirt up.
  • Don't Go in the Woods
  • Dramatic Unmask: Done with both Doctor Grefe and Ray.
  • Driven to Suicide: The briefly mentioned Mrs. Grefe.
  • Dude, Not Funny!: In-universe, after Sheriff Anderson discovers his wife's body, an attending officer cracks "Damn, that must have hurt!" He is promptly yelled at.
  • Dumb Blonde: Janelle.
  • The End... Or Is It?: An officer brings Mandy and Michael to a police van, and tells the driver to bring them home. After the officer leaves, the driver is revealed to be Ray via his glimpsed Hook Hand.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: It is quite apparent Chloe and Doctor Grefe really do love and care for each other.
  • Evil All Along: Ray was framed for the murders of Ward and Harriet by Doctor Grefe, but turned out to be homicidal anyway.
  • Evil Overlooker: The cover displayed above.
  • Evil Uncle: Doctor Grefe.
  • The Faceless: Ray's face isn't seen that clearly, until he confronts Chloe.
  • Fainting: Doug faints after his broken leg is set.
  • Fanservice: Two sets of breasts are displayed.
  • Final Girl: Mandy.
  • Follow the Leader: A lot of people seem to dismiss it as a rip-off of I Know What You Did Last Summer.
  • Foreshadowing: In the bowling alley, Janelle mentions that the version of the hook-handed maniac story she heard involved the killer being disfigured by a fiery explosion. Near the end, this actually does happen to Doctor Grefe. Also, Chloe's line "No, you are gonna fuck me right now, or I'm going to kill you're faggot ass."
  • Frameup: Done to Ray by Doctor Grefe.
  • Golf Clubbing: Michael fends Doctor Grefe off with a golf club he finds lying around the Yasgur house.
  • Gorn: Barely, considering almost everything is offscreen.
  • Gory Discretion Shot: Chloe getting her throat slashed; gore is shown splattering on a car window.
  • Groin Attack: Janelle gets hooked between the legs from under a bed, while Doctor Grefe later gets a golf club to the nads.
  • Gross-Up Close-Up: On Brad's slit throat.
  • Hard-Drinking Party Girl: A girl at the bowling alley.
  • Harmful to Minors: A young Mandy approaching her mother's unattended corpse at the scene of the crime.
  • Hassle-Free Hotwire: Done by Michael, when he and Mandy fail to find the keys to the Yasgurs' car.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Doctor Grefe is killed with his daughter's hook.
  • Hook Hand: Ray.
  • Hooks and Crooks: Doctor Grefe and Chloe, who each utilize a detachable Hook Hand.
  • Hope Spot: The group find a shotgun, too bad Michael's jumpiness causes him to waste the only two available shots.
  • Horror Doesn't Settle for Simple Tuesday
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: When Doug faints after having his leg set, Michael tells Janelle (who exposed herself to distract Doug during the procedure) that her body "is a real knockout".
  • In the Hood: Apart of the killers' attire.
  • Improvised Weapon: Along with a golf club, Michael also uses a car cigarette lighter on Chloe's face.
  • It's Personal: Michael.
    "This fucker killed my dad! I want him dead!"
  • Jerk Jock: Tim.
  • Key Under the Doormat: Sheriff Anderson gets into the Grefe house the hard way, while Penny just uses a key she finds under the mat.
    Penny: "Maybe I should be the sheriff."
  • The Killer Becomes the Killed: Ray offing Chloe.
  • Knife Nut: Doug gets a pair of them through the thighs.
  • Little "No": Janelle, when she starts hearing scratching noises while trying to wake the unconscious Doug up.
  • The Load: Doug, after his leg breaks.
  • Lucky Charms Title: Lo♥ers Lane.
  • Meganekko: Mandy.
  • Make-Out Point
  • Malevolent Masked Men: Along with hoods, the killers also have ski masks.
  • Mirror Scare: While Sheriff Anderson is looking around the Grefe house, one of the killers (presumably Ray) appears briefly in a mirror.
  • My Car Hates Me: Doug crashes it.
  • Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Grefe, pronounced like "grief".
  • Not Quite Dead: Doctor Grefe is blown up and is shot several times, but only dies when he gets hooked in the back.
  • Offscreen Teleportation: Justified, there's three killers.
  • Off with His Head!: The head of Doctor Grefe's dog is found in a refrigerator.
  • Oh, Crap: Chloe, when she realizes the hook handed man she's been talking to isn't her father, but Ray.
  • Parental Incest: Vaguely alluded to with Chloe and Doctor Grefe.
  • The Place
  • Playing Possum: Done by Chloe, when Tim and Doug discover her and Bradley's car. Also done by her father, after Sheriff Anderson shoots him.
  • Peek-A-Boo Corpse: A couple finding Ward and Harriet's in the opening, and Mandy finding the Yasgurs' while looking for something to barricade a door with.
  • Pool Scene: The school kind.
  • Psycho Psychologist: Doctor Grefe.
  • Reaction Shot
  • Red Herring: Ray appears to be this when Doctor Grefe and Chloe are revealed as the killers, but then it turns out he was running amok as well.
  • The Reveal:
    • Chloe went crazy after Michael dumped her, and decided to kill him and anyone who got in her way.
    • Doctor Grefe, who goes along with his daughter, was madly in love with Harriet, and killed her and Ward when she rejected his advances. He is similarly obsessed with Mandy.
    • Ray was framed by Doctor Grefe, but was violently insane anyway, and is killing independently of the Grefes.
  • Screaming Woman: The female member of the couple in the opening, upon finding Ward and Harriet's bodies, and Penny, who just stands there dumbstruck as Sheriff Anderson and Doctor Grefe fight near the end.
  • Scream Discretion Shot: Several.
  • Sexy Discretion Shot: Anna Faris lifts her shirt, but we don't get to see anything... damn.
  • The Sheriff: Tom Anderson, Mandy's father.
  • The Shrink: Doctor Grefe.
  • Sinister Scraping Sound: Done by the killers, repeatedly.
  • Slashed Throat: Every non-stabbing death.
  • Stalker Shrine: Doctor Grefe has a dual one, for both Harriet and Mandy.
  • Stuff Blowing Up: The Yasgur house, when Doctor Grefe sets off Michael's gas stove and matches booby trap.
  • Talk to the Fist: When a drunk girl at the bowling alley starts going on about how Michael is probably shitfaced and getting laid as they speak, Penny responds by punching her in the face.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: When she starts freaking out, Janelle grabs four knives.
  • Thirteen Is Unlucky: Of course the murders would start again after thirteen years.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: Michael, after smacking Doctor Grefe around with a golf club:
    "Nine iron, bitch!"
  • Title In: Valentine's Day - Thirteen Years Ago and Present Day.
  • Turn of the Millennium
  • Two-Faced: Doctor Grefe, after being blown up.
  • Urban Legends: When Doug tells everyone the Hook escaped, Janelle and Cathy (unaware of the town's history) bring up all the different legends and stories regarding him.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Doctor Grefe, upon finding Chloe's body.
  • Villainous Incest
  • The Voiceless: Ray.
  • Weapon of Choice: Regular hooks for the Grefes, and a Hook Hand for Ray.
  • Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Chloe lies in the middle of the road and pretends to be injured, and states Brad is still alive, to get Mandy and Michael to go back to Lovers Lane, where she and her father can finish them off.
  • Yandere: Chloe, who went insane and decided to kill everyone (with her father's help) after being told by Bradley that Michael wanted out of their relationship.
  • You Killed My Father
  • Your Cheating Heart: Since their bodies were found together on Lovers Lane, it was assumed Ward and Harriet were having an affair, though it's later revealed by Doctor Grefe that they weren't, he just posed the bodies like that.