Creator / Slimebeast

"If I should live until I wake, I pray the web my death to fake."

— Slimebeast

Best known for his Creepypasta horror fiction, Christopher Howard Wolf (born September 21, 1979) AKA Slimebeast has written some of the most well-known pastas on the internet. A former game designer and actor, Slimebeast began writing short stories in 2012 for a contest held by Bogleech.com. Since then, he has written over one hundred of these tales. You can find several readings of his work on YouTube, most notably those of Mr. CreepyPasta. His style of writing usually consists of pop culture and/or nostalgia building to a shock ending.

Although Slimebeast was part of the development team for Dragonspires, one of the first multiplayer online games, and voiced Anime as well as appearing in live action films, his best known work is that of Abandoned by Disney, Lost Episodes, I HATE YOU and Funnymouth.

His works include:

• Abandoned by Disney
• I HATE YOU
• Mario Is a Monster

Slimebeast's work usually seems to avoid blood and gore, opting instead for unease and dread followed by a shocking reveal.

His personal website is http://slimebeast.com/index.php. He also runs the sites TooSpooky.com and FearFic.com.

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Some of his works contain examples of:

• Adaptation Name Change: "JTK" changes Jeff the Killer from Jeffery Woods to Jeffery Jones. In addition his brother is Lou instead of Liu.
• After the End: “Afterpeople” and the Saturday-Morning Cartoon Zombionix from “Dead Serious” are both shows dealing with a post-apocalyptic setting.
• Age Lift: "JTK" changes Jeff the Killer's younger brother Liu into his older brother, now named Lou.
• All There in the Manual: Confused about how "Don't Pet the Dog" ended? Slimebeast explains the twist in the comments.
  Dr. Killjoy: I'm actually a bit confused about this. Does the serial killer transform into a dog somehow, and lives at the house, and that's why they say he's a bad dog? And the graves in the yard actually contain his victims?
  Slimebeast: If you that's how you prefer it to be, then sure. My intention was: You pet the dog, the dog dies and you take its place. Hence the huge stockpile of dog corpses over however many years. I figure the people at the house are just a couple mentally "interesting" folks who were with someone who petted the dog, and had nowhere else to go.
• Alliterative Name: "JTK" has Jeffery Jones aka Jeff the Killer who was originally named Jeffery Woods.
• And Then John Was a Zombie: The ending of Funnymouth.
• Asshole Victim:
  • Pace, the Jerkass producer from Gorbs.
  • Companionship
    • The protagonist is a total prick concerned primarily about boning women. While he does survive getting a healthy dose of Body Horror, he’s left traumatized for life.
    • The protagonist of the prequel My Children was a Jerkass with a major case of Never My Fault abusive to the monsters he took under his care, and totally deserved being left to die at the hands of the Rattler by Lizzie.
  • The Jerkass telemarketer with a Lack of Empathy from I Worked For a Telephone Company, who gets a severe case frostbite on his hand that eventually causes it to be amputated by the ghost of a pair of women he had gotten killed inadvertently when he scammed them into buying a faulty cell phone, causing them to freeze to death when they were unable to contact anyone for help.
• Battle Rapping: He has a section of his site dedicated to written-down rap battles between various fictional characters.
• Be Careful What You Wish For:
  • "Funtime with Floppy" has the narrator, as a child, write a letter to the titular show (about a puppet rabbit and his adventures on a farm) asking for the other characters to leave Floppy alone and not be mean to him. The next episode that airs responds to the letter by having the other characters tear Floppy apart as he screams.
  • Subverted in Companionship. Lizzie gives anyone who offers companionship to the monsters under her care whatever they want, no catch. However, as the protagonist learns, spending time with said creatures really isn’t worth it.
• Big Creepy-Crawlies: The titular giant cockroaches in Afterpeople, who are actually kind of friendly.
• Black Comedy: Whatever, A Few Suggestions, Little Green Man, Funnymouth, and Extra Ketchup.
• Buried Alive: The fate of the park patrons in Room Zero.
• Chekhov's Gun: What ultimately results in the Reddit thread getting locked in "Grendle Grove" is what is shown in the opening of the story: the rules list; specifically #3^note No derailing and #4^note No sharing of personal information.
• Chess with Death: Chess Champion has Death challenge a dead chess champion to a game of chess. The chess champion traps Death by making a tie, and forces Death to make the champion the new Death in exchange for ending the stalemate.
• "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot: Not the whole plot, but the protagonist of "Minor Corrections" would have been able to avoid the ending and stop his dad from committing suicide if he hadn't put off opening the envelope from the photo lab for as long as he did. Even if he'd opened it just a couple of minutes sooner, he'd have been able to stop it. Of course, given this photo lab's precognitive ability, they probably knew exactly how long he would put off opening it.
• Creator Breakdown: In-Universe. The screenwriter protagonist of Gorbs loses it after his greatest idea for a movie is mangled by his boss into a generic zombie movie, and he snaps and goes into a screaming rant about how unoriginal a zombie movie is, sarcastically suggesting using gore orbs called "Gorbs" as the villain instead. Somehow, his sheer rage is enough to cause a Gorb apocalypse for real.
• Dead Man's Switch: The titular website of "clickreload" functions like one. In fact, if you don't keep clicking reload every hour for the rest of your life, you'll become a dead man since whatever is shown on the site at the time will show up and try to kill you. Unless you link the site to somebody else and force them to spend the rest of their life clicking reload instead of you.
• Deconstruction: "JTK" deconstructs Jeff the Killer. Jeff, here, is not some misguided attempt at a Tragic Villain who was bullied into becoming a monster, but rather, he was always an unpleasant, clearly disturbed individual long before he crossed the line into mass murder, which he'd been planning for months. The worst abuse he received was mockery from his classmates, but they acted more out of fear of him than sheer malice. His bullies from the original story were never bullies and never meant any harm until they got freaked out by Jeff's demeanor, so they attacked him in the heat of the moment. At best, the story is a case of Black-and-Gray Morality, where, despite any mockery Jeff endured, it never warranted a massacre.
• Disproportionate Retribution: In "A Few Suggestions" Frank gets drowned in a toilet for cheating at cards and Sudoku.
• Downer Ending:
  • "Minor Corrections" ends with the Narrator discovering that his dad hung himself... immediately after seeing a damaged photo that predicted it.
• Driven to Suicide: It's implied that the Narrator's dad in "Minor Corrections" had this happen.
  What happened with Uncle Duke combined with my Mom's reaction must've been worse than I'd even realized.
• Education Mama: The narrator's parents in "Safe Internet" are very strict about making sure he focuses on learning. In this case, though, it's learning to be a Mad Scientist.
• Expository Theme Tune: The main song from “Zombionix”:
  ”Zombionix! Creepy Undead Cyborg Uglies!,”
  ”Meat and Metal are as one!”
  ”Fighting for the human race (it's no longer there),”
  ”Fighting in the human’s place (No one left to care),”
  "There is no shelter to be found (Enemy is friend),”
  "Earth is just a battle ground (War will never end),”
• Eye Scream: Anyone watching the titular "Class Creeps" winds up stabbing themselves in the eyes.
  I CAN'T WATCH THIS!
• Foreshadowing / Rewatch Bonus: "Disappear Hole" has one bit of narration that takes a whole new meaning once you know the twist:
  "One of us should climb down there and see if there's anything cool. One of us can hold the other's hands." Tyler seemed quite pleased with his idea, but after a moment it seemed as if there would be no volunteer.
• Genre Shift: When I Met Uncle Ty, a somber, sad story about a man reminiscing about his schizophrenic uncle that has no Twist Ending of supernatural or non-supernatural threats.
• Horror Doesn't Settle for Simple Tuesday: Red Snow posits that malevolent supernatural entities deliberately choose to strike during the Christmas season because people are off their guard during the season.
• Humans Are the Real Monsters:
  • "Pink Lester" seems like a story about a boy who is tortured regularly by some kind of malevolent entity named Lester (don't call him Pink Lester) who visits him at night, and that's not wrong. Lester is a young boy, and the boy he gleefully tortures is his imaginary friend.
  • Companionship implies that he was enough of a monster to become one of the monsters Lizzie takes care of.
• I'm a Humanitarian: At the end of "Afterpeople", the protagonist of the show, who has spent the whole show searching for her father, finally finds his corpse. However, due to a lack of edible food in the show's post-apocalyptic setting, she's so hungry and desperate that her immediate instinct is to start chowing down on the corpse raw. The sound of her chewing scars the narrator for life.
• Interface Screw: "Upside-Down and Backward" is written with every paragraph in reverse chronological order.
• Kill and Replace: In "Don't Pet the Dog", this is the reason why you don't pet the damn dog. The dog will die, and then you become the new dog.
• The Killer in Me: The twist in "Stop Scaring Everybody" reveals the protagonist has become a Serial Killer during his blackouts.
• Laser-Guided Karma: "I Worked at a Telaphone Company".
• Magical Camera: "Minor Corrections". Though it's not the camera itself that is magical but the mail-in photo development lab that makes "corrections" to photos containing any living creature that either died between the time the picture was taken and the time it was developed or will die very soon in the future, showing the dead body (or what's left of it) instead of the creature still alive.
• Maybe Magic, Maybe Mundane: Is left unclear if Afterpeople is just a creepy sci-fi show about the future or something else.
• Meta Origin: "Lost Episodes" is meant to be one for all of those, well, "Lost Episode" pastas inspired by the likes of Suicide Mouse, Dead Bart, etc. There's nothing supernatural about any of these supposedly haunted episodes. They were all made by one guy with an obsession for editing videos and probably some kind of mental illness or disability. He did, however, manage to eventually turn himself into a supernatural video tape that automatically edits all physical copies of movies and TV shows in the immediate area into more gruesome versions, as shown in the sequel, "Sid's Video".
• Monster Clown:
  • "He Does Birthdays" has Torso the Clown, a Humanoid Abomination with the appearance of a clown with no lower body who mind rapes the narrator's father, causing him to relapse into a childlike mentality, and at the end, Torso goes around killing the children invited to the narrator's birthday party. He's heavily implied to be an SCP.
  • "Extra Ketchup" has a restaurant called Honker's run by clowns that use child meat as their ingredients.
• Monster Roommate: The Eldritch Abomination from Whatever.
• The Most Dangerous Video Game: He's written several stories about these, such as the "Attract Mode" trilogy.
  • "123 Safety Street" from the story of the same name ends up to be a subversion. The game is a Christian Scare 'Em Straight game made to teach kids that "Halloween is an amoral holiday" and all of the scary glitches and stuff were intentional. When the game appears to start affecting real life, it was just the kid's parents who were in on the whole thing, which ends up badly for the mother when she grabs the kid from behind to scare him and he fights back, knocking her over and killing her when she hits her head on a chair. Possibly ends up double subverted when the bloodstain left in the carpet is the same as the face of "Dr. Boo!" from the game.
• No Ending: A lot of his stories seem to just...stop. Sometimes they'll be followed by a sequel, but often they're merely left to hang, with the reader wondering what just happened. Stories like "Watch for Willie", "He Does Birthdays" and "Extra Ketchup", to name but three, only kinda sorta hint at what was happening before simply ending, no explanation, no follow-up.
• Nostalgia Filter: Often opens stories with this, taking things from childhood and building scares with them.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The ending to "Minor Corrections", of a sort. Despite seeing proof that a certain mail-in photo development lab can show/alter the future through damaged photographs, the Narrator sent in film of his Prom photo just to see what would happen. What did he get? The photo being messed up in such a way that it looked like his father was hanging from the ceiling.
• No Fourth Wall: "New Creatures". Slimebeast managed to piss off an assortment of creatures and monsters through his writings, and (realizing that there's no escape) asks the reader to pick the one that will kill him the fastest.
• One Myth to Explain Them All: The whole basis of "It’s Always a Zombie". Zombies are real. Every other kind of mythical or supernatural creature is not, they're all just zombies that people mistook for something else.
  Sasquatch? Turns out he was a survivalist wearing a gilly suit and face paint. He didn’t bring his orange hat, so some numb-nuts took him for a deer and pumped a few rounds into his chest. Ever since then, he stormed through the woods, groaning, munching squirrels, and scaring the shit out of campers. Well, he did until I blew his brains out.
• Pædo Hunt: The protagonist of "Salt House" at first appears to be a pedophile spying on his next victim, a "beautiful" little boy who is accompanied by his father. The protagonist gleefully plots the father's murder so he can take the boy for himself and then carries out the deed, at which point it's revealed that the "father" was the actual pedophile and the "pedophile" was the father rescuing his kidnapped son.
• Rage Quit: "FPS" is written from the perspective of an enemy monster in a First-Person Shooter, who has been killed by players countless times and watching them move on to the next level. It's overjoyed when it finally manages to kill the player for once, thinking that it gets to move on to the next level instead. Except...
  What does "WTF!!! UNINSTALL!!!" mean?
• Red Sky, Take Warning: "Red Sky at Night", where the sky is remarked to turn red at sunset at least twice throughout the story of a cruise gone terribly wrong. "Red sky at night, sailor's delight" is invoked at the first sunset, in which the survivors use a liferaft to escape whatever is leaving people dead in the water. The 2nd sunset is after Graham's last hopes are dashed upon finding what he thought was land to be a giant mass of corpses, and he eats his flare gun. The narrator is revealed to be the entity causing all the doom, whose final remark is the sky turning a beautiful scarlet.
• Ret-Gone: A minor case in "Disappear Hole": once something falls into the titular hole, no one remembers it existed. For instance, the three boys in the story think of dropping a flashlight into the hole to see how deep it is, but realize that they didn't bring one. Then they look down the hole again and see what is unmistakably a falling flashlight, and realize that they did bring one and dropped it in, but immediately forgot it existed after doing so. And of course, there's the fourth boy in the story. Which is why you didn't know he was in it.
• Perspective Flip: "5 Things You Didn't Know About WWII's Creepiest Sleep Experiment" details an American version of "The Russian Sleep Experiment" right down to one of the subjects claiming to be an otherworldly being, only to be shot in response.
• Significant Anagram: In “Bonus Room”, the protagonist enters an arcade game tournament where there’s a chance to play an unreleased game titled I-BOY-PLUS. It’s actually an anagram of Polybius, and the game has effects similar to what some of the Polybius legends suggest.
• Sir Swears-a-Lot: The jack-o-lantern from "A Lot of Guts", and his kids.
• Spot the Thread:
  • A retroactive one occurs in "Don't Pet the Dog" which helps explain why you shouldn't pet the titular dog. You see, the dog the narrator meets in the story has a chunk of his left ear missing, and the story ends with a tow truck driver warning the narrator about a murderer that was supposedly loose in the area, who had a chunk of his left ear bitten off by one of his victims.
  What a bastard that murderer was... On top of everything else, he petted the dog.
  • At the start (technically end) of "Upside-Down and Backward", the Narrator mentions seeing Mr. Backward underneath a "gargoyle arch" in Wendy's room. At the end (technically the beginning), the Narrator is incredulous that Wendy doesn't like scary things, pointing out her gargoyle mirror.
• Spoiled by the Format: invoked Not quite: At first glance, the backwards narrative of "Upside-Down and Backward" seems to spoil the ending of the story, with Mr. Backward having killed Wendy, and about to kill the narrator. However, the last paragraph of the story turns it on its head, simply by mentioning the existence of a mirror.
• Spoiler Title: "S'mores", as pointed out in the comments.
  Mary: The title sorta gives away the twist. :/
  Slimebeast: OR DOES IT? Spoiler! Yeah, I guess.
• Subverted Kids' Show: Several of his stories are about obscure children's shows that somehow got away with horrific content.
  • “Class Creeps” is about the protagonist and his friends attempting to watch a video stream of the pilot of a 1990's cartoon titled Class Creeps, which happens to be about some students who get killed in a terrible accident before being revived as grotesque monsters by a Mad Scientist named Dr. Satanstein.
  • “Dead Serious” has the narrator talking about his shoddy cable system allowing him to stumble upon an episode of a cartoon called Zombionix, an extremely violent cartoon about undead cyborgs endlessly mutilating each other in a post-apocalyptic setting that has apparently inspired children in the real world to commit awful acts of violence.
  • "Squiggles" is about a puppet show where the title character makes politically incorrect jokes and causes the children in the show's live studio audience to convulse and die.
  • “Funtime With Floppy” is about the narrator reminiscing on an early 1980's puppet show where he sent a letter requesting the other characters to leave Floppy alone, resulting in Floppy's tormentors murdering him onscreen.
  • Watch For Willie is a variant on this, focusing on a supernatural Where's Waldo?-knockoff poster where the Waldo equivalent, Willie, is a Serial Killer murdering the inhabitants of the poster and hiding their corpses on the back.
  • Wobble World is a very strange variant in which the narrator talks directly to the reader as they turn on an old analog TV that hasn't been used in years, only to find that it's picking up...some kind of broadcast. It features a strange, twisting shape named "Wobble", an elderly British host and a chorus of Children. The narrator and the children seem to be afraid of Wobble, but the narrator is trying to keep going as if it were just a normal kid's show, teaching the kids letters. And it turns out watching the program has turned you into Wobble. Probably the most out-there element is the host randomly teaching the kids the word "justify" and telling them "you can justify anything you feel like doing."
• Surreal Horror: The creature in "Stranger Danger" can be described as this.
• Take Our Word for It: During "Class Creeps", the narrator Felix can't see the video being streamed (the pilot of the titular show), and has to rely on his friend's remarks in the chat to find out what's going on. This is subverted at the end of the story, where we are told what happened to Felix's friends.
• Take That!: When the narrator discusses his difficulty in tracking down information on the titular show in "Class Creeps", he brings up that the show apparently isn't notable enough to warrant an article on Wikipedia or IMDB. The narrator points out that this is hardly unusual and that a person once said that Wikipedia would demand you give a citation proving how many fingers the human hand has.
• Title Drop: "Dead Serious" is the catchphrase of Rot Rocket, the main character of the Zombionix cartoon discussed in the story.
• Toilet Humour: One of the zombie cyborgs from Zombionix mentioned in the story "Dead Serious" is Last Gasp, who has a rotary fan for a hand that he uses to weaponize his flatulence.
• Twist Ending: Frequent. "Disappear Hole", "New Creatures", and "Safe Internet" are good examples.
• Uncertain Doom: Mr. Tattersome ends with the protagonist trying to destroy the titular creature by setting his home ablaze. Its left unclear whether it was killed in the fire or not, though it is heavily implied that it was.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: In "Lost Episodes", Sid originally had a strong dislike of blood, gore, death, and other horror elements, and edited movies to remove these things (Ghostbusters with no ghosts, and Old Yeller where Yeller is miraculously cured and doesn't need to be put down, etc.). The narrator of the story eventually convinced him that scary movies can be fun too, and everything goes downhill from there.
• Wham Line:
  • "Disappear Hole" ends on one which doubles as an in-universe one. It also turns everything we've read on its head.
    Whose bike is that?
  • Near the end of "Minor Corrections", we are given a minor clue as to what happened to the Prom photo.
    I wasn't fast enough. I didn't get to the basement before...
  • "Upside-Down and Backward", while being in reverse order, ends with a comment that is a significant reveal.
    "You like scary things!" I finally respond, shaking my head as if in a numbed haze, "What about your gargoyle mirror?"
  • "Stop Scaring Everybody" has the protagonist reread the garbled note he left himself in the middle of one of his blackouts, which reveals just what he had been doing.
  note to self: STOP SCARRING EVERY BODY
• Word-Salad Horror: The entire point of One More Time, where a writer is trying his best to tell you about his aftershave of "evolving text", but his every lactation is shoveled into vellum paving, necessitating him reapplying his lubricant to seal the pressure valve.
  • It continues in the comment section.
• Writing Around Trademarks: "The 'Donational' Project" starts with the Narrator coming right out and admitting this needs to be done due to them signing a non-disclosure agreement, and states "for legal purposes" that the story is fictional. However, it quickly becomes apparent that the company in the story, "Zillion", is meant to be Google.

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