Let's Attempt to Watch: Paper Kirby (Chapter 1)

Snickerdoodle Hamster

Part One: The Paper Menace

Ugh, I deleted the first part by accident, so Here We Go Again. I also fixed some parts so they make more sense.

Hello, Snickerdoodle Hamster here. I love crossovers, because I just love it when I see different characters come together. Why am I bringing up crossovers? Because for this Liveblog, I'll be reviewing a really bad video crossover fic. No, it's not Pooh's Adventures of Paper Mario. It's Paper Kirby. It is essentially a claymation crossover about Kirby in a Paper Mario-like world. Now you may be thinking, "That's a great idea, how could anybody screw this up?" The answer is simple: put this great plot into the hands of someone who can not animate well, relies a lot on stupid and pointless Filler, can not tell the difference between a YouTube video and a video game, insert a bunch of horrible Kirby recolors, can not think of an original plot, and has no idea on how to use iMovie.

You know what, I will just save the ranting for later, let's just DIG IN!

Chapter One out of ?? (this series isn't even finished yet!), Part One out of Six

Our "adventure" begins with a bland title sequence that was obviously done on iMovie. I'll fast forward to 10 seconds in to get to the crossover itself. We zoom in to a White Void Room, where our protagonist appears to be dead. He wakes up, and gets hit by Twink, who spends twenty seconds or so giving an overly long and boring speech about her backstory in iMovie's default subtitles. It's a lot like Pooh's Adventures, only they cared even less because the entire thing is done using one still frame. To make the effect worse, Kirby talks using only sounds from the Kirby games, making very strange conversations like this:

Twink: (subtitles) Well, I'm Twink! And, you are...?

Kirby: Hi!

Twink: (subtitles) Kirby, huh? Are you from out of town?

Kirby: Ah! Poyo!

Twink: (subtitles) WHAAAAAT!?! You say you're from Another Dimension?

Kirby: Ay!

Twink: (subtitles) And you think you're stuck in THIS dimension?!

Kirby: Ah!

Twink: (subtitles) And you're wondering how I'm understanding everything you say, even though all you're saying is one syllable?

Well, you get the point. This is the first of this crossover's MANY instances of Lampshade Hanging. Anyway, Twink explains that this "it's a Paper Mario thing", and just as she starts explaining how she can help, she gets interrupted by a "Hey, You!" Haymaker. This makes Twink VERY angry. Cue Twink giving a pointless tutorial on how to play Paper Mario, which by the way, continues through the next 2-3 parts. Also, it does not help that she knows about timed hits.

Now, we are three minutes into the video. That means only three more minutes left. Anyway, Twink thanks Kirby for saving her, and gives him the ability to look at the Heads-Up Display. She continues to explain this crossover's plot, which is about Kirby finding all of Twink's friends so he can get back to his dimension. After that, Twink and Kirby go to the next White Void Room, which looks the same as the first one, only now we see four characters talking: a Goomba, whatever that grey thing is, and two Kirby recolors. One of the recolors is yellow while the other one is blue. They both have the habit of strangely squirming while they talk to each other. Also, when the camera zooms in, the pictures are very blurred. Does the animator behind this have any clue of what he's doing? Kirby greets the copycats, I mean completely original characters, and the blue recolor wonders if he knows Kirby or not. Suddenly, we get interrupted by ANOTHER "Hey, You!" Haymaker. This time, he comes in the form of the so-dorky-he's-awesome Green. Green by far has got to be my favorite character in this crossover. He is a really likable Jerk Jock who seems to have a Bully and Wimp Pairing with Blue. Or maybe it's just because he uses the word "nerds" as his Verbal Tic. Back on the storyline, Kirby decides to battle with Green to protect his new friend.

This battle is very similar to the first one, only Blue is now battling as Kirby's partner, and the hit count is now displayed on the whiteboard background. There is nothing too special about this battle, so I'll be skipping this part.

After his defeat, Green gives his first We Will Meet Again speech, claiming he has the power of the Star Kid that he captured. He runs off, leaving a Broom Stick Quarterstaff that he stole from Blue behind. Blue reclaims his Broom Stick Quarterstaff in delight, and Twink explains that Green has one of the star kids. Blue acts like a Sympathetic Sue to convince Kirby to bring him along as well, and he accepts. Yes, you heard me right, like all bad fan fiction, this crossover features LOADS of MarySues as well. Anyways, Kirby and Blue walk out, and the video closes with an Iris Out.

What will happen to Kirby and his unlikeable friends? Click the next part to find out!

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