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Reviews VideoGame / Cooking Mama Mama Kills Animals

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01/27/2019 02:43:18 •••

Preachy, gross and pretty bad

Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals is a short Flash game by PETA. It tries to parody the Cooking Mama series and promote veganism, and does a terrible job at both.

Each step of preparing a dish is a simple mini-game. Many of them are very similar to the mini-games in the official series, and they worked better because you had the touch screen on the Nintendo DS or a Wiimote instead of a mouse or a touchpad. Your score is determined by how well you complete a task, and you can get a (stupidly small) bonus if you finish it before the time runs out. Annoyingly, the dish comes out the same no matter how well or poorly you perform.

In the first three levels, you have to prepare a Thanksgiving feast (despite the game's title, Mama is never shown actually killing the turkey). The game calls you "mean" if you do well, and "nice" or even "a saint" if you do poorly, which makes no sense. Even if you agree with PETA that eating animals is bad, how is trying and failing to cook a turkey good? And if performing well is bad, why do you get points for it?

The preparation of the turkey is portrayed as gory and unsanitary in an attempt to make you go (or remain) vegan, but it's so exaggerated and unrealistic that it won't convince anyone. All it accomplishes is making most of the game disgusting and off-putting to everyone who doesn't like gross-out. By the way, these levels have cheerful background music like the rest of the game.

After completing a level, the game presents a fact that promotes veganism (you might want to take it with a grain of salt). Then it offers you links to bonuses, which include wallpapers, web banners, and... slaughterhouse videos. Uh, no thanks. At least it doesn't force you to watch them.

Once you've completed the three Thanksgiving levels, Mama has a change of heart and goes vegan "because of you". Why? I don't know. All you did was help her prepare a turkey, which the game condemned. Anyway, you've now unlocked the bonus level. It looks like a regular Cooking Mama level and has you preparing tofu-turkey. It's nothing special, but the fact that it doesn't feature an unrealistic amount of gross stuff makes it the most tolerable part of the game.

I can't recommend this to anyone. Even if you can look past the excessive gore and poorly-executed, Anvilicious message, the gameplay isn't very interesting. I don't even think hardcore vegans who agree with the game will enjoy it — they might like the tofu-turkey level, but they're forced to slog through the turkey preparation to get there. I have to give the game credit for one thing, though: it got rid of Mama's annoying voice.

01/27/2019 00:00:00

This might as well be a review of not only every predictably edgelordy PETA game ever made, but the organization as a whole.

I do—in theory—support their cause, but they go about it in such an obnoxiously condescending, haughty, and overblown fashion, they actively force a lot of people—even nominally conscientious types such as myself—to disavow their every action out of sheer embarrassment and lack of respect for their own lack of integrity.

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