In the beginning, there was darkness.

So, Taco created light, and the massive delicious source of light gave prosperity to the primitive race of lolcats below.

(OOC; Now this is a forum I can get into to. god modding without consequence)

So the Demon God of Chaos came forth, creating 4chan to oppose the lolcats, simply for fun.

And the lolcats doth spake: "oh noez!"

But Taco, seeing that it would be wrong to destroy 4chan, created Caturday, so that one day of every week 4chan would be forced to create and serve the lolcats.

But alas, the lolcats had no food! And so the god tied to the stars called forth celestial magic, and created for them and for 4chan the mighty cheeseburgers.

Then the Demon god of Chaos Created tropers, so that people can have fun on the internet, which he also created.

edited 4th May '10 6:22:28 PM by Demongodofchaos

Karlz Belena, the Cosmic Arbiter, saw that there was a balance of good and evil in the world, and decreed it just.

But Karlz Belena also saw that there was a dearth of moe in the new world, and decreed this unjust.

And thus the balance was tipped in the favor of Evil, and Taco decided that the world needed something awesome. So he made Noitu Love.

edited 4th May '10 6:35:03 PM by Taco

Dog Lover, the god of food and entertainment, ruled alongside his close companion (and fellow god) Warner Sister, and had a dog named Gladstone. The dog is considered sacred because of this association and it is a terrible crime to kill one.

However, once again noticing an imbalance between good and evil, Taco struck down Gladstone, as such a force of good would eventually destroy us all if kept unchecked. And by struck down, I mean Taco sliced off all his legs. And kept him alive.

And from the sea of chaos rose Krrackknut, the trickster. Krrackknut danced among the stars and laughed at the earth, stealing things such as the sun, the remains of the sacred dog Gladstone, the primordial cheeseburger, and the celestial key.

edited 4th May '10 6:45:40 PM by krrackknut

And Taco did give krackknut a dancing partner, Dark Lady Celebrian, so that he may never be lonely, in exchange for all the things krackknut had stolen. And so Celebrian, krackknut, and their children danced among the stars, preparing for the End Times.

And lo, from the mists arose a mountain, and on that mountain was a cone of rock, that seemed to absorb the light into it.

And yea, Teemo didst posteth, even though he did remain unsure whether playing as himself or his avatar would be more lulzworthy.

But one dance was not enough, and thus the wild, mercurial Krrackknut petitioned Taco for permission to create.

And the mists swirled around the mountain, which grew ever darker. Loud rumbles were heard from within, as though something lived in its flanks, and was trying to exit them.

And so Taco cracked open the mountain, revealing a large tool shed. Taco went within, and gave krackknut the carpentry tools within, as someone had left them on previously and was clearly not worthy of such tools of creation.

Gladly accepting the celestial tools, Krrackknut thus sought out to create.

Krrackknut chiseled valleys, fields, hills, forests, and rivers into the earth.

He then decided to ask his children what manner of creatures to populate the earth with. Krakens, dwarfs, living trees, gigantic insects, sentient clouds...all these he sculpted with glee and satisfaction.

Finally, Krrackknut then attempted to add all that he had learned from the creation process and made one final creation for himself, to take charge and become part of the story:

Man.

And the tip of the mountain did crack open, unfolding into leathery wings. And so Czernabog did reveal himself to Man, who cowered before his awful and terrible might.

And so lonely Gloom sat in the dark depths of the underworld upon a throne of iron, watching the world of men from beneath a troubled brow.

*is gods of nothingness.*

Lo! One man said unto his tribe; "Look above and below, my brothers! Gloom of the Netherhells awaits us below, and mighty Czernabog looks upon us from his craggy peak! Surely we are meant for grander things than to die and be taken to Gloom's realm, until we are taken from his bony embrace and made to dance eternally for Czernobog's amusement?!"

(Can I call you Gloom of the Netherhells?)

And then, born out of a flickering fire, came Blaine The M0n0, messanger of the dead, and keeper of the flame. He leads the lonely ghosts to the underworld to Gloom and bid them rest, in addition to controlling the fire of the earth.

edited 5th May '10 8:52:04 AM by BlaineTheM0n0

But above in the heavens, the god of fun & technology, iTroper, looked down and saw there was nobody to use the beautiful metal devices he had planted above the clouds. So he rained cell phones, laptops, televisions and Video Games upon the Earth, providing entertainment for all.

And iTroper saw this was good.

edited 5th May '10 9:25:44 AM by iTroper

DOST THOU DARE DENY THE GODLINESS OF THE JACKAL? THOU MUST BE SMITED!

*throws lightning bolt at the next poster*

edited 5th May '10 9:27:08 AM by TheJackal

-hit by lightning bolt- No! If only I had used a surge protector!

...and the great iTroper fell from the heavens, becoming a mere immortal demigod.