It was a dark and stormy night when Brooklyn took Priscilla Xav'ria Esmeralda Mineko Moonblade in his arms. "Oh, Priscilla!" he sighed. "U R hte most beootiful half human, half fairy, half gargoyle, half vampire with ninja skills I've ever seen! Be my mate forever and always!!!"
Priscilla giggled as she fliked back a stend of sparkling pink hair. "Brooklyn, I love you all to peeces!!! Yes, I will mary U!"
Brooklyn showered kisses on Priscilla's nubile face. "Ur love so strong! It make me kiss u tho i has a beak!"
Limpid tears fell from Priscilla's crystaline orbs. "U make me so happy, Brooklyn! We has sex nao?"
"We has sex nao." Brooklyn agreed, whiping of his belt.
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
Gimmie the sit-rep.
Then Lord Sauron von Cruella de Ville Cthulhu Dragon Death Dracula nee Volxemort, the most evil and powerfuls guy ever appeared from a portal behind them.
"ha ha, fuul. witout ur belt of p0wrs, yr weak 2 my attaks. you will b dstroyed make your time."
So Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort killed Brooklyn with his most powerful attack, the Dark Fireball of Apocalypse (Which cannot be blocked or dodged because its too powerful). Then he made Priscilla love him and force her to marry him.
edited 23rd Apr '11 1:32:06 AM by GreatGodPan
Spooky.
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Screamed Priscilla. "I will never mary U, Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort! Never never NEVEEEEEER!!!!"
"The I will rap u!" Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort said salivatingly. He rapped her. He spent hte hole nite rapping her. He rapped her till they were both exawstid.
"Oh, Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort," Priscilla said sweetly. "Ur massive cock has made me change my mind. I love u an will mary u!"
"glad u c it dat way nao, my deer." sid Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort.
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
Was opahn a teme, dere wus a soopah sodier, named "Krystalia Deliah Gertrude Patty Smithsonian"! She wjs de best arteficnal warruon evneh, but evbyons wuz so MEEAAANN ta hur!!!! >: She wus killred by a asswsun!! D: N Fuftty yurs later, Krystkanl wuz awoke B cauz hse wuz so supeh kewwl an de aftuhlifw was not deserve of her awzunesz!!11!! Sew se waised ha sord qbive her hed an sed, "I wull haf mu verngannce!!!! D:<<" soe she waent northward lt duh hills an-
I'm sorry, I'll stop there. I... I've ruined TV Tropes.
Usually here.
"Avada kedavra!" shouted Hermione, ponting her wond at Krystalia. "Hah! Stuppid Mudblood! Thinks she can come around here, waving som sord arownd!"
"I'm so prowd off u, Hermi!" said Draco. "An I'm so glad u fond owt u was purblood after all! Now that we killed doze evil ppl hoo kiled ur parents an pretended 2 b ur parents, we can live happly ever afters!!!"
"Oh, Draco!" Hermione fluttered her lashes nubilely. "Pleeze sex me up nao? K thx?"
"K." said Draco, taking of his cloz.
edited 24th Apr '11 12:15:17 PM by cygnavamp
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
((OOC: I'll continue my own story sometime later.))
Then suddenly, Ron appearted! "Dam U Darkp stealing Hermioni frum me. If I can't have her....Changerdus Genderuois!" Hermione turned into a boy!
"Oh no!" cried Hermion. "How wilt I get sexed now?"
"Don'r worry becuz I am Bi" said Draco and then he and Herman (that's wht Male Hermionw is called now) then sexed and sexed and ti was fun.
Ron hung himself becuz he was a stoopid failure.
Then suddenly, Krystalia rose up a gain! Turns our, she was a Pourblood too and she was abducted at birth and her brain put int2 an Artificial Hueman bodys. Now they could have sex as wwll! She had cyborg parts which made her very sexy.
Herman was so arooused. "Let's have a 3 way!" she said to Darko who was already masticating to Kartsyila.
Priscilla was mad cuz Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort wuz bng a clowsal dik. She was on her way to Hot Topic to drown her sorrows in a shoping spree when she saw Ron's body hanging frum a tree. She smiled an got an ideuh. First, she use her kitana 2 cut him down, den she sid a rhyme she lurned frum her cuzin Puck. (Authors note: I rote it myself! ^_^)
o mortal wif hair o red no longer will u b ded a new life this spell doth bring an fly thou on gargoyels wings!
Sudden;y, Ron roze up n teh air, his body spun rown an rown. Horns grew from his head as wings sprowted frum his back. He floated gently bak 2 urth an opined his eys. "WTF?" he exclamed. "Im a gargoyel?"
Priscilla squeed excitedly an juped in Ron's arms. "Sex me nao, u sexy beest!" she sid flirtily.
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
((OOC: It's fun working with others!))
Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort then came in and said: "So u havf recovered from my Stockholm Syndrome already? This cannot be!"
"But it is!" said Gargoyle Ron. "For Love will alwyas thruimph over Evul!" His wings and claws extended and he prepared to face Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Shooted LSCdVJD at Ron. But Priscilla sanched away Ron's Lonicoloth and began sexing him! Turns out that she had a power that makes those who sex with her immune to magic and so the spel bounced off Ron.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shouted Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort. He began firing more and more spells but the Anti Magic field grew larger and when Pricisalla and Ron klimasxed, the Bark Dark Lord was engulfed with Anti Magic and destroryed!
"Yayyyy!!!!1" said Prisiclla. And then Broklyn got brought back and they all had sex all night.
In Transylvania
A Vampire named Dracula was doing a ritual with Blood and Girls and sexing and Incense. There was also lots of music like Mozart and Bach and Bethoven who was an alien. Suddenly, green smoke came out!
Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort's voice came out: "Find me a new body at once! Then I can take my revenge.
edited 24th Apr '11 6:21:37 PM by BadficFetish
(OOC: Oh no, Badfic Fetish! You spelled 'gargoyle' right!)
Dracula sauntered sexily up to Lord Sauron Cruella de Ville Joker Darkseid Ripper Vader nee Volxemort. "I'll get u a new body." he purred. "In fact, u can have my body, but on one condishun." He walked his fingers up LSCdVJDRVnV's chest. "You let me call u Jojo!"
Jojo (Authors note: dats wut we call him nao! ;P) gazed into the vibrently violet orbs fleked wif scarlet an he wuz lost. "Oh, Drackie!" (Dats wut he calls him nao @_@) Jojo grabbed the vampir's tawt butt cheeks. "I c nao, i neber want women! I want u, Drackie!"
"I no u want me, Jojo." cooed Dracula. "Butt u must proove it! Tak of ur pants an ben dover!!!" Jojo did as he waz told, waiting for Drackie to stuff him wif hot man meat. He was shoacked to feel a stinging slapp on his butt."
"Do u love Priscilla Xav'ria Esmeralda Mineko Moonblade?" Jojo was so suprized he didnt no wut to say. Dracula was spanking him again. "Do!" SMACK! "U!" SMACK! "Love!" SMACK! "Priscilla!" SMACK! "Xav'ria!" SMACK! "Esmeralda!" SMACK! "Mineko!" SMACK! "Moonblade?"
"No, Dracki!" gaspd Jojo shockedly.
"Who do u love?"
"U no 1 butt u, Drackie, my love!"
"Then reseev my burning fowntin off love joose!"
edited 24th Apr '11 7:04:44 PM by cygnavamp
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
But then suddenly Jojo saw Darco and Herman on Dacula's scrying bowl which was just laying around. Krystalia had left to find more Poorblods to sex and so they were just laying down naked like the Greeks. Jojo was instantl aroussed.
"I want him now!" Jojo said staring at Herman. He leapt away from Dracula and put on back his pants and telleported! A minuet later, he was now where Darko and Herman were now.
"U will sex with me Herman and Draco or I will curse u!" the Dak Lord pointed his wand at them. The two had no wands and thus had to submit. Jojo took off his clothes and had a looooooottt of fun with the two young wizrdas. "Oh oh oh!" they said as they began to organism.
But Dracula appeard! And he had a gun!
"Y u no luv me, Jojo?" Dracula cried depressedly as tears of blood ran from hid ize.
"Dracki! I cood no help myself.!" said Jojo. "I want sex an lots an lots of it!"
"U cood alwayx....joyn us!" said Darco, sunshoously licking Dracula's nipples.
"Yeh!" said Herman. "We can hav a yaoi orgy all night long!"
"Sound good 2 me." siad Dracola.
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
While they were sexing, Krystalia came in too! She had Blaise with her as well as Snape and Bellatrix. "Hey can this be a Het orgy as well?" Bellatrix asked.
"Okay!" said Jojo. Then they sexed and sexed some more and they organismed laots of times. There was lots of wine and chocolate and the sheets were made of silk so it was errotc.
Then suddenly, Sepiroth came in!
Prepare to be my Uke, Jojo! And Sepiroth took him to his castle in the skyies above.
Noooooooooooo!!!!!111" said Darkula and he began crying.
Meanwhile Prisiclla and Ron were sexing and sexing and Priscilla said to him:
"I only pretended to have Stockholm Syndrome for Jojo. In truth I was fixing up my revenge plan. I slipped a potion of Ukefication in his drink and he was a stuupid idiot and drank it."
"That is sooo cool." said Ron.
Sepiroth stroked Jojo's hair sexily. "Do u want to b my uke, Jojo?"
"Yes! Oh, sweet Jesus yes!" shouted Jojo. "L Ately I've been so fucking horny I'll b n-e-bodys uke!"
"Den suk my masiv coke, uke boy!" Sepi said, as he sexily lowered his skin tight white jeans.
"Hold it right there, fag boy!" said a girl's voice. A dark haired girl in a red and purpel sailor suit stormed in. "Unforgivable! lying with mankind ass with womankind!"
"Unforgivable!" said a blue haired girl in a blue silor suit. "Using the Lord's Name n vane!"
"Unforgivable!" said a ponytailed girl in a green an pink sailor suit. "Being controled by ur lusts!"
"Unforgivable!" said a blonde girl in an orange and green sailr suit. "Wearing white after Labor Day!"
"U forget, my friends!" said a girl with blonde odungo on her head and wearing a red and blue saulor suit. "The only unforgivable sin is blazfemy of the Holy Spirit!"
"Who the fucking hell are u?" asked Spiroth.
The girl with odungo swayed her arms about gracfuly. "I am Sailor Gospel! Champion of God!"
"I am Sailor Genesis!" said the blue sailor girl. "Soldier of God's creativ forse!"
"I am Sailor Exodus!" said the red sailor girl. "Pashonate fiter of God's divine protexon!"
"I am Sailor Leviticus!" said the green sailor girl. "Strong defender of God's comandments!"
"I am Sailor Deuteronomy!" said the orange sailor girl. "Obedient follower of the Word!"
"We r the Bible Scouts!" said Sailor Gospel. "We stand for grace and faith! We will preech the Word and triumf over Satan! And in the name of the Lord......."
"We will punish u!" the girls all said at wunse.
edited 26th Apr '11 7:10:49 PM by cygnavamp
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111" said Sepiroth as he and Jojo were fried by bolts of fire that came from the Scouts hands.
Then Joan and Starkit came in.
"Ur takking our spottlight!" They screamed. Then theyt killed the Scouts.
Then they got killed by The Spanish Inquisition (not the Monty Python one).
THE END
edited 27th Apr '11 2:15:13 PM by BadficFetish
((OOC: As it turns out, I'm still on writer's block as far as Aoshiro-verse fics are concerned. Instead, here's a fic for you, cygnavamp!))
((OOC 2: No, I haven't read any Revenge Fics involving Candace, though I know that they exist. Also, I don't hate her in Real Life.))
AN: This happened on teh episode when Candace busted the boys and they got broken. I allways hated Candcace for that. This is what should had happend to hwr for such a morall event horiaon.
Anyway it was just several days after Candace finally exposed her brothers Phineyas and Ferv and got them pot in that prisin place ran by that sadist sergant (AN: I hat him to I'll aslo tortur him!) who was noe raping them and makinf tem have stockhom syndrom. Linda now liked Candace and she was being treated hand and foot. She was gloating to Sdacy on the Iphone her mom bought for her by selling Phineas and Ferc's old possesions.
"This is graet teh boys r noe geffing wat dey deseve for doing stuffd tha could hlep humens." Candace laffed evolly (dat bich!). "Now ted are beeing ropped and that is so cole."
"Ya well Cadace I got a confession to u" said Stacy. "I was only ur friend becuz Phineas and Ferb begged me 2 do so becux tehy luved u (not that way) even tho u were so evol and ABUSIVE twoaerds them. Now that u got them inprisoned and rapped wid stocholm srndrom teh contract is no longer valid. Bye and gud riddance u Bich daugther of a whore."
"I am nut teh daugther of a wore u vich Satcy!" shooted Candace in2 her iPhome. "Hey mom am I teh daugther of a whore."
"Well I'm not a whore but ur real dad was becuase yo certainly didn't get being a manipulativr bich frum me."
"Wat I'm a dugther of a mlae whore? WAHHHHHHHH!" Candace whined crying tears like wht her brothers were crying now except that she was a shallow person. She ran outside. Then, Jeremy!
"Helo Jeremy and why do u have boos all of a sidden?"
"U see I just fund out that u crossed the morel event horison and ar a daugter of a male wore. So I turned muself into a Gurl so that I don't have top be together wid u u bitch. I HATE U!" She screamed @ candace.
"Wahhh!" cred Candace shallowly as she wept and wept. But little did she know that worse was about to come.
Isabelli was ready. When she had hred that Pheas and Ferb were finally busted her hate towartds Candace had flared up like a Volcano. Now she and Suzy who was Jeremy's sister had now gathered with the rest of the Fireside girls to take venganse upon Pheneas and Ferg's bastrad sister. Tehy sneaked up on where she was shallowlt cryting.
"Now!" she said as she got out a big stick as well as the others. They rushed upon Cnadce and tehy bet her up. She scremed and screwmd but she should have saved tose screms 4 later when she needed them. When she got unconcious Isabella and the others dragged her to tehir secret lair.
When Candace woke up she was in a room like Tortura's room with lotts of troture instrumnets all sharp and sterilized to prevent infection. Suzy and Issabela were there too as well as the rest of the Fireshine Girls.
"Eek! Isavella, Sazy wat r u doing hert?" Candace said.
"Taking ouer Reveneg!" said Isacella and Suzty. "U got ur own botehrs impresoned in rape facility also u stole Jeremmy. Now u will suffer as we torcure u! HAHAHAHAHA!" tehy both laudghed. Then they got out a reverse sewing machine that looked like a nremal sewing machin but it unreaveled clothes instead of seaming them. They put it neat Cnasace's socks and shoes and it began unravejling them.
Candace shouted: "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111"
Perry stirred as sweat began trickling down his hide. His eyes strained to open, while his webbed feet made running motions as if to try and escape the horrors that now awaited him. But he coudn't wake up, no matter how much willpower he exerted...
((OOC 3: Further installments, if any are made, won't be so explicit about the torture.))
edited 26th Apr '11 9:10:11 PM by BadficFetish
19 Years Later....
The New Jenarashun
But it wasn't quite teh end. Jojo managed to escape and had Dracola's ass baby. It was a little viscount named Lord Legolas Vladimir Phoebus Sevarius Murry Dracul. They were hiding frum all teh eebil peepl hoo wanted them ded.
Sailor Deuteronomy managed to escape too. bcuz she was nawt relly as Christin as she let peepl beleev, she went to the orgy at Hogwarts an was soon preggers with twins a girl and boy she named Timothy Amadeus Theophillus Nathaniel Aino and Ephesia Dorothea Raziela Agape Aino. Krystalia also got preggers at the orgy and had a dootir named Delia Rose Rebel Nina Lorena Smithsonian.
Priscilla and Ron had a baby they named Moll'alda Golthea Chrysanthemum Hachiko Weasley. Herman didn wanna have an ass babby, so he turned back 2 Hermione an had Darco's baby. They named him Canopus Luscious Narcissus Herman Malfoy.
"Hey, Krystalia!" Sailor Deuteronoly said.
"What, Mina?" Krystalia called her dat somtime.
"We need 2 fine owt hoo our babby's daddys r or peepl gonna think we hos or sumting."
"K." said Krystalia.
Meanwhile, Moll'alda and Canopus had just met 4 the first time at Platfurm 9 an 3 kwerters.
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
After Isabella and the Fireside Girs bet her and ******** and ****** her, Suzy got out Electric Eels and then whiped her more with them. Then they got out a Sea Urchin and Scoripons and-
Perry strained. With every bit of willpower he mustered, he skipped past the loathsome scenes and purient ideas that made up the dream. While he didn't have enough strength to escape the dream completely, he knew that he could get to when Candace's ordeal was almost over...
"Pleaz!" said Cancade. "I'l dou anytthing!" Isabella got out a pliers and Chili peppers and prepared to remove her fingernales.
"I'll got Phineas and Fert bac! Please jwst stopp!"
Isabellas quit. "Pot her in teh cage whil we decide," She said to teh Fireside Girls. They took Candace back and shut her in teh cage wiht only some food and water.
Canacde worried and waited. She didn't wanr to be tortured more so she cried shalloely. She covered her nakked body with her plams and shivered at teh cold.
Then, Isabella and Suzy opened the cage.
"Very well. We'll give u a chance. But if u fail to get your brothers back or reverse their Stockholming, we will get u and trotrue u more."
edited 27th Apr '11 8:53:38 AM by BadficFetish
"OMG, Mina!" said Krystalia, runing up to her with a paper in her hands. "U never beleev hoo the dotcer say Delia's daddy is! its........Phineas!"
"OMG!" said Mina, taking out a pees of papper. "Teh dokter said the fadder of my twins is......Fert! Krystalia, our babbys are cuzins!!!"
"OMG! WTF!" Krystalia skreemed eksitedly.
Mina fell 2 her nees an prazed the Lord for giving her sich wunderfull nooz.
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
"But there's bad news too" said Karystalia. "U see Phineas and Ferd are now being rapped by that Sergant
from tha rape facility and they ar gedding strockhole synderom."
"That's torrible!" said Mina. "Wait a sec aren't they less than 15 according to canon, making us pedoz?"
"Oh no!" said Krystalia as police came and began attaking.
They made Kung Fu stances!
Candace got out an outfit that looked like Kim Possible's but with a Collar that would shock her to death if she teried anything. Isabella got out clothes that made her look like a Commissar and a gun. The other Fireside Girls had rifles and pistols and submachine guns. Jeremy (still changed in2 a Girl) was also there and had a Polearm and beautiful long gowns.
Stacy was also there and had a Katana because Katanas r jest better. Norm the robot also joined and had guns and rockets built in2 him. The Fireside Girls and Jeremy pooled together their munny to buy a truck and paint it in Camoflauge just like an APC. It also had missiles and guns and can fly. After they got ready the truck flw off!
"Remember the orders" said Isabella. "All boys except Phineas and Ferb are too far gone now, so they have to be enthusinzined. The rape facility is bulit like a fortress, so there may be lots of soldiers waiting to be killed by us. Is everyone armed?"
"YES!" Every1 said. The flying truck waz fast so the fortress came in sight easily. At an order from Isabella, teh missiles fired, beginning teh battle!
"BOOM!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111"
There were many soldiers in teh fort but Isabella and teh Fireside Girls were throwing grenades at both them and the inmates who were too far gone. Fem!Jeremy was slicing tehm with her Polearm while Stacy was blocking bullets with a Katana. Norm was firing guns and rockets built inside him for indiscriminate damage. Candace of course was killing soldiers as well in order to rescue her bothers.
Perry coudn't stand it any longer. He vomited and vomited, making a mess of his bed in real life. His tail trashed, scattering the vomit. Seeing Isabella and the Fireside Girls killing innocents was the final straw. With a silent scream, he forced himself to skip the carnage, and move to when Candace rescued Phineas and Ferb.
"Phineas! Ferv!" Candace cried out when she saw the boys. They were alreadty stockholmed and were staring listlessly into the air. "NO! What have I done?! I never wanted this!"
Perry smiled. Candace's in-character moment boded well for his chances of escape. Once he got out, there will be hell to pay for whoever authored this nightmare-
"BOOM!" Suddenly, teh wall exploded! There was...teh sergant! And he had an Arm Slave!
"Prepare to die!!!!!!!!1111" he shooted angrily preparing his gun. Isabella and the Fireside Girls prepared Rocket Launchers!
edited 10th May '11 8:08:43 PM by BadficFetish
"DEUTERONOMY OBEEDIENCE CHAIN!" Mina screemed her atak, raping the police in a long chain made of God's loving mercy.
Krystalia kicked the coppers' sorry buts with her black pattent ledder boots, wen she wasnt choping of heds with her khatina.
They stoped fiting wen one cop fired his gun n teh air. "U r pedoz!" teh cop told teh girlz. "U r going 2 jail, K?"
"But I wuz 15 to!" said Mina. "Is canan! Is bowt only thing bowt me dats cannin!"
"How bowt u?" the cop asked Krystalia.
"Ummmm.....dats kina hard 2 explane." sid Krystalia. "See, i wuz asleef 4 fuffty yeers, so i no reely shur."
"Gude unuff 4 me." the cop shruged as he put his gun bak n teh hustler.
edited 27th Apr '11 10:46:06 PM by cygnavamp
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
Isabella and the Fireside Girls fired their Rocket Launchers! Teh Arm Slave slapped half teh bullets away but was hit by the orther half. But Fem!Jeremy was already charging and slicing up the Mecha's foot in an elegant dance of grace and lethality. Stacy followed up by slicing off the Mech's other foot with her Katana.
Then Norm came in and began firing missiles one after the other, blasting off the mech's gun. Then Isabella and the other Firside Girls got out crowebars and opened up the cockpit (geddit?). Then they bet up teh rapist dude and knocked him unconcious.
"So," said Candace "Do I get free now?"
"Sorry," said Isavrlla. "U wiil be Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves. Then she pressed a button and Candace's collar shocked her until she died.
"Haha serves that bich rite" said Suzy kicking Canace's dead cporse.
"Now, let's get thos Rappist bac to the baze." saif Idabella.
"Krystalia I have a confession to make," said Mina to Krystalgia.
"Wut is it?" said Krystalia who was brishing her hair.
"I'm nut really a Christian. My powers and the other Scout's come from Alien Lost Technology that we found from a crashed spaceship. But we lived in the Deep South and only I belived in Aliens so the others fromed the Scouts and forced me 2 join."
"Woaj that's sad! said Krystalia.
"Not jest that" said Mina. "But I found out.........Jojo is one of the Descendants of those Aliens, whichj was why we weren't able to kill him!"
"Thank u for revealing that," said Jojo. He had made a partial recovery from his Ukefication and was now leering at the girls. "Prepare to die!" He got out a gun!
"Y r u gonna kill us?" asked Krystalia, drwaing her sword mitily.
still traning the gun on them, Jojoshifted the snugly he was wearing to reveel a baby boy. "You've cum 2 tak little Lord Legolas Vladimir Phoebus Sevarius Murry Dracul away frum me! I wont let u! I wont!"
"dude, i got twins." said Mina. "Y teh fuk do i want ur kid?"
"An my Delia is sooper spechel!" said Krystalia. "She has long black hair with red highlites an her eyes sparkle like teh sun on watter. i been teechin her how 2 use sords sins she wuz 3 an now she can tak any1 on in a fite! She has marble white skin that shimmers in sunlite and bootiful chisled feechers. She sings like a bird, speeks 65 langwitches including animal langwiches, She sooper skinny an models 4 voge part time. so, yeh, rilly, y i want ur kid?"
Jojo sniffled and started 2 cry histerically. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile, Moll'alda and Canopus had just met for the first time at platfurm 9 an 3 kwerters.
"Your wings are pretty!" said Conapus.
"Thanks." said Moll'alda. "My dad was turned to a gargoyle by my mom whos half gargoyle, half fairy half vampire and half sumtin else. Cuz o dat, i can b owt in teh sun an im nut ugly like most gargoyles."
"I like how ur skin shimmers n sunlite." said Caonpus. "An ur red hair with golden hilites and color changin eyes r so hawt!"
"Ur hawt 2!" said Moll'alda, runing her finggers thru canopus' thik blond curls. "Wanna make out on teh trane?"
"K!"
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
Mollada and Canopuys made out! It was so hot that hornomes were sent flowing thru them and tehir bodys became hawt too. They went hornty.
"Let's tak our cthles off noe!!1" said Mollada.
"Not ywt," said Canopus. "There are people watching and they ar preps."
"I don't car!" said Mollada. "Let uz sex now!"
"Ok," said Canopus and then tehy took opf their clothes and sexed in public and also killed those preps who objected and told them to leave.
Then suddenly, Edward Cullen was here! And he was being attacked by Twilitr-hating Preppies!
Isabella sterped of teh Sergant's cloths then Suzy whipped him with a wihp made of Snakes. The snakes bit everywhere and there was lots of screaming. Then the Fireside Gprls got out scorpions and spiders with painful posons and pored them over the Rappist Sergant.
"That's wat u get for rapping Phineas and Ferv and making them have stockhold stndorme." Isabella gloated. Then she and teh Firside girls did ******** and ******** to him and there were lots of ****** and then they got out some antidote in case the posions were fatal. Teh Sergant survived.
Then Fem Jeremy was there and he covered his Polearm in Perper Juice and-
Then Perry woke up.
"Y U cryin?" Mina aksed Jojo.
"My babby! Look at him!" Jojo sobbed. "Look at poor litel Leggy!" Leggy babble nonsins as he pulled at his fingers.
"Wut langwitch is that?" asked Krystalia.
"That's just it!' sobbed Jojo. "My baby iz almozt 2 and all he do is babble and sumtime say 'Daddy' or 'No no' just litel wurds. An...an he not speshel! An ass baby should be speshel but he not!" Leggy stared blankly through pale blue eyes as the wind floped thru strands of dull brown hair. Instead of rozy cheeks an sunbeems like all babys, Leggy just made spit bubels wit his drool."
"Wuts dat smell?" asked Krystalia.
"He just shit himself!" sobbed Jojo.
"Delia was potty traned at 4 months." said Krystalia.
"Timothy invented a heeted toylet seat at Leggy's age." said Mina. "An Ephesia poops rose sented rainbos."
"Bbbut my babby," sniffled Jojo. "Hes.......NORMAAAAAL!!!!111"
And in the name of Tropes, I will punish you!
This.
There are snakes in the grass, so we'd better go hunting!