Corrupt-a-wish.

• sigh* Fine. You get your wish, but your character shows up so late in the plot and at a level far behind everyone else's that the only action you get is in cutscenes...if you're lucky.

I wish a good Superman game was released in the US, not cancelled, and fully playable.

Granted. It's one of those always-online singleplayer games, on a daily subscription-based system. Paying the equivalent of a monthly subscription only gets you the first 20% of the game, and it only escalates from there.

I wish I could inhale toxic materials and have no ill effects on my body whatsoever.

Edited by AtlasStratus on Jun 19th 2019 at 5:49:48 PM

Granted, no ill effects from the toxic materials. But evil scientists dissect you to figure out how you can inhale toxic materials with no ill effects.

I wish my back didn't keep itching.

Granted. You can't feel any itching over all the intense pain

I wish I had the infinity gauntlet with all the infinity stones

Edited by johannes4123 on Jun 19th 2019 at 4:46:03 PM

Granted, but Thanos shows up, kills you, and steals it before you get the the chance to snap your fingers.

I wish that playing with boy would come up with more creative ways to corrupt wishes than "it sucks".

Granted, but the power of their corruption wishes turns them into Genie!Jafar, and no wish will ever be pure again.

I wish to become a magical BOY.

Granted! You become a destructive magical non-binary entity resembling a young male human. Also you have so much destructive magic you have to release all that magic every 20 seconds and also you're immortal so you inevitably become the only thing left in the omniverse that you'll also inevitably destroy.

I wish I was Daring Do for a day.

Granted, you’re in The Writing on the Wall.

I wish I could have a fan.

Granted! They're a stalker fan. An immortal stalker fan. Also a yandere. Also you become immortal and you have to deal with them even after the universe dies.

I wish for a genie who is fluent in every living language that exists on Planet Earth.

Ok, but he'll still corrupt and twist your wishes in every single language that exists. And insults you in all of them, which you're forced to sit and listen to until he finishes. This might take a while, so I hope you're comfortable...

I wish that tonight I will have a pleasant dream about kittens, in which nothing bad happens to either me or any of the kittens.

Granted!

Something bad happens to everything else and the Earth explodes, but at least you and the kittens are fine.

I wish to be the best at telling meta jokes.

Granted! Now that all sentient life in the universe except for you is dead, you're the best at telling meta jokes by default.

I wish to know exactly how to solve any problem I come across.

Granted - you Go Mad from the Revelation as every problem and every possible solution flood into your brain.

I wish I had a tree that didn't aggravate my allergies.

Granted. The tree doesn't aggravate your allergies, but it is sentient. And it hates you.

I wish I could animate.

Granted! The universe dies so now you can animate your own universe with no real friends.

I wish I could throw parties like Pinkie Pie.

Granted, everyone hates your parties.

I wish to play Cuphead.

Granted. The game crashes right when you get to the best part.

Here's a simple one. I wish I could be Caitlin Snow!

Congrats, you are Caitlin Snow! Complete with memories and personality. Good job.

I wish for a T-Doll I can maintain at a low cost, and who follows my orders without any hitches.

Granted. It corrupts your orders, though.

I wish for this potato to die!

Granted! You and the potato get run over by a train.

I wish I never had nightmares.

Granted. You are unable to see it, because potatoes are not sapient. And it’s still delicious.

I wish for more genies.

Granted. None of them grants you wishes

I wish I could walk on water

Granted, but you sink on dry land.

I wish for super reflexes.

Granted. You can react fast enough to try to catch a speeding bullet, but it tears up your hand anyway.

I wish I didn't have to pay extra money at train stations to buy the same food I can get at supermarkets.

Granted - all train station food is now free Meals Ready to Eat! Enjoy.

I wish humans had evolved from cats instead of primates....