The noodle incident

Those aren't even the worst of the afterlives. I was sent to one where the local god was a computer. A computer. I spent a long time there. And yes, the punishments were ironic.

The worst afterlife is the hell that makes you think it's heaven, then slowly, insidiously turns. Or so I hear, I've never been there, obviously.

... You sure? Because that sounds an awful lot like this world.

No, this world's slightly better; why else do you think an angry wizard turned me into a clone of Killer Frost while I was at an anime convention?

Was that at the con with the murderous bee, or the one where we had to fight off that army of living chess pieces?

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Nov 6th 2018 at 7:42:12 PM

The chess pieces. The bee was at the SCI-FI convention, remember?

I've still got the white queen as a sex slave... Shit, did I say that out loud?

She prefers to be called Emma Frost now. Do you want to be Welcomed to Die, just like Dazzler?

Wait, I thought that was caused by the Penguin Mutiny of 1974? What does that have to do with anything?

It has to do with everything.

... I literally JUST SAID not to mess with causality. Did you learn NOTHING from the Invisible Pink Unicorn's visit?!

Does that include retrocausality? Because I may have caused past me to make better choices and rethink his life.

I would assume so,Also when you mean rethink his life, what exactly did he do? because I'm not fighting another elder god until the end of the month.

Tell me about it. After last time, I never want to see another pair of tap shoes again.

Could be worse, I still have catapult nightmares about the thing with the pens the 65th one we fought did.

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Nov 8th 2018 at 8:00:43 PM

Something tells me neither of you have ever had to deal with the polynomial division machine. Oh, what one tiny little error can do... I'll be seeing Zalgo text in my nightmares for the rest of my life!

At least we got rid of Victor Hugo's ghost...Man, he did not know how to write a short sentence!

But it was his verbosity that ran the time machine. Short sentences could only jump a few minutes in time, but Hugo? Centuries, millennia even.

Millennia of doom and despair, that is. Damn you secret agent angels and your pussy-ass golden harps...

The angels I encountered were always Eldritch Abominations. What kind of Fluffy Cloud Heaven have you been dealing with?

I think it's the kind where you can run on the clouds and collect coins without all those damn Goombas and Koopa Troopas bothering you.

No, it was the kind involving magical pigs with broomsticks and Napalm. Not sure what kind of heaven that is, exactly, but you get what I mean.

It wasn't heaven at all, none of it. It was all alternate universes, and I think the one you're thinking about is the one where only the evil die young, and rock stars live forever. Unless they're evil rock stars, that's where things get a bit fuzzy.

Oh really? Then explain where those chameleons with razor-blade parasol came from? Or the sour milk spills?

Oh, that was from Louis XIV's visit. That dude knows how to PAR-TAY!