ITT: We Are All Space Mercenaries

Gulp. Frank downs a shot of whiskey, then puts the glass down, leaving the crate open.

Okay, where's the blasted elevator... He starts looking around the planet. These elevators are usually at the planet's equator... which is more helpful if you know which way the planet is oriented relative to your field of vision. Seeing as the ship just abruptly jumped from one location in space to another, it's kinda difficult to know which way that is right now...

While looking, Frank's mind starts to wander...

Goddammit, I had a whole line of questions for Roark prepared and Faunatoid just had to be right there! Freakin' miracles...

The radar was working fine this morning... okay, they can be sabotaged if someone scrambles the signal it's sending out, but the one vehicle I could see having that kind of tech kind of got incinerated a few minutes ago, and the only building with such tech was invaded by Varrq this morning...

Come to think of it, what was Tilt doing on Phobos? Sure, he was defending against the raid, but why? Was he paid? Did he have family there? New friends? ...if it was the latter two, why would he ditch them for us? ...and why don't I just go down and ask him myself— oh wait, there it is.

Eventually, Frank finally sees the Elevator. His next job in the process is to match up its real location with the radar, a job which takes all of 10 seconds. He sends a radio message to the Elevator via the Comm-Channel.

'Ullo, this is the Grand Celestial, requesting... docking.

Edited by WilliamRadarStorm on Sep 20th 2018 at 9:26:29 AM

“Watch my back, Bumper,” Tilt said, keeping a tight grip on the umbrella he held as he approached Bodega’s quarters. Keeping low to the ground, he took a look into the partition between the hall and her room within the barracks, but didn’t see much of anything aside from an empty bag on the bed, some dumbbells, and a pile of headbands strewn across the ground.

He did a double take and waited for it to emerge, but whatever caused the noise was as good as gone. It was about as disconcerting as it was relieving to find nothing there.

Tilt snapped his fingers to send the parasol back into his matrix. Bumper floated alongside him as he left the quarters for the bridge.

“The Countach Belt, huh?”

“Yeah! I know it’s maybe a bit childish to still hold on to that dream. I’d hate to waste your time,” Bumper said. “No doubt you’ve gotta be busy these days if you’re hobnobbing with Phyber tycoons.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t call it that,” Tilt replied. “S’more like, uh... placation, or something. I wouldn’t shoot the shit with him over root beer, if you catch my drift. Besides, I’ve always got time for you, Bump!”

“You’re not just saying that because you built me, are you?”

“Nah, I’d never do that.” The two gazed outward to the windows, where the curvature of Faunatoid had come into view below the Celestial’s external bits. “You’re your own robot, like me, Becks or that one new guy from earlier. I put the parts together, but that’s about it.”

“I guess that’s true,” Bumper said. “His name’s Sparks, by the way. The new guy. Well, new to you, but not really otherwise.”

“He looked like a DV model. Don’t they hate our kind, or whatever?”

“Dude’s a unique case. Some coding error somewhere gave him sentience. He’s figuring it all out on the fly,” the cube said with a sputter from his speakers akin to a giggle. “Go easy on him, Fult. Been on the crew for a while, but he’s still pretty green.”

Edited by Tre on Sep 26th 2018 at 11:36:12 AM

Again, something—someone is trying to get out of the bag. Upon hearing someone enter the room, they decide to speak up: "Hello? Can someone get me out of this?" Though small, they—she, actually, at least judging by her voice—certainly sound like an adult, and not wholly distressed, she sounds more frustrated than anything. She continues to forcefully prod at the bag, pushing with whatever she has on her with all her might, but still to no avail.

Deck

(A sleepy sounding voice responds to Frank.) Snrzt...uh, yeah, docking granted, whatever...

Looks like we're about home, Roark! (I cheerfully say to Roark, seeing Faunatoid out the window.) Gosh, I can't wait to tell my folks about my first day on the job...

We'll miss you guys! Yes! Uh huh! (Bruno says.)

Yeah, you guys are pretty neat. (I say.)

I think I'm going to take tomorrow off... (Roark mutters.)

(Bruno notices the bag moving.) Ooh, captive's awake! Uh huh!

Roger.

Damn, that was lucky. Normally, the docking-in-the-elevator procedure has to be cleared using a bunch of trade-speak, which is difficult to remember if you're drunk. The fact that the dude in the control tower is half-asleep (and thus likely can't remember it at the moment either) is almost a relief.

Frank pilots the ship into a small hangar, decorated with flags of West Faunatoid and tools of the maintenance worker's trade. Compared to the landing from earlier, you'd barely even know we stopped were it not for the ambient hum of the engine stopping. Now that the ship is safely docked, Frank once again turns on the ship's PA system. His voice is starting to slur because of the whiskey, but he's not unintelligible.

'tention crew this is... ah, screw it. Y'know who's speakin' by now, why am I ev'n both'rin'? Anyhoo, we've now docked 'bove West Faunatoid. So this's where we'll drop the cops 'n the stow'way off, then kick back for a few hours before we take off again 'n'less Becka orders oth'wise.

Frank then gets up, stumbles down the stairs to the first floor, and starts to head to his bunk in the barracks. The sooner he can sleep the alcohol off, the better.

"We're here!" Erik runs to the window and presses his face against the glass, looking out excitedly. There are a large variety of creatures moving around nearby. But Erik sees something especially strange at a stand not too far away. A massive, shadowy form is talking to the creature behind the stand, who looks totally uninterested.

"Guys, what is that? That big, dark thing over there? I wonder what they're talking about..."

"I do not understand. Why can I not purchase these Faunatoid beverages?"

"I've already told you, ma'am, you can not buy this stuff without proper identification."

"What is an "identification" and why is it so important with you organic lifeforms?"

"Ma'am, I need it to verify that you are of legal drinking age."

"Age? We Ursas are a race as old as the universe itself!"

"Ma'am, you appear under 30, it's company policy."

"Under 30? Oh my! -giggles- Thank you, young man!"

"Ma'am, you're holding up the line."

Aur mutters "Oh fuck it is alive" and rushes over to the bag.

".. I swear to the fucking gods if you scrape out my brains or someshit when I let you out.." He wrestles with the bag for a few moments before finally getting it open.

Jane approaches the window.

"Huh. That's a bit odd..."

Meanwhile, Jotaro headed towards the barracks, just in time for the bag to be opened.

"Well then. Who's the new stowaway, Sir Aur?"

Finally, the "stowaway" is freed, pushing herself off from the ground using her clawed, rounded tentacle "arms" jutting from the sides of her head. Another much smaller one obscured part of her face between her eyes, and yet another one, not as long compared to her arms but much more bulbous, sits behind her, bobbing up and down with her breathing, and with it, little slits like nostrils along the sides of her mouth open and close as she breathes. Out of breath, she stays there for a moment to recuperate—after all, trying and failing to free yourself from confinement is a very tiring process—before looking up at Aur, her presumed savior, and then the rest of the crew in the bunkroom.

"Y...you're not like them, r-right? The...the Varrq, those...other guys that..." She shakes her head and doubles over again, resting her "hands" on her knees, too tired to be fearing for her life at the moment.

Tilt and Bumper, meanwhile, were getting caught up on each other’s escapades since That One Time, and the android had looped Bumper in on what had happened on Phobos — culminating in the way Tilt took out the Wedge’s laser.

“You did what?” Bumper asked, with an audible sense of disturbance and a shrunken pair of digital pupils.

“I couldn’t think of anything better,” Tilt said with a shrug, and Bumper groaned in response.

“Dude! You’ve got infinite storage in your magic backpack or whatever, there’s so many different ways you could’ve handled it!”

Tilt raised a pointer as if to speak, but couldn’t come up with a valid retort, and put it back down as a beat passed.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Bumper said with a sigh.

“I’m still figuring that part out,” Tilt replied, glancing briefly at his wrist’s display of a holo-pen schematic. “Does this place have any Foundries, or am I gonna have to go back to Kepler for that?”

Bumper’s face briefly displayed a loading screen before showing a card displaying the nearest one, thirteen klicks north of the West Faunatoid Spaceport. “Guess it’s your lucky day,” he deadpanned.

“Fair enough. I really don’t want to go back to that place.”

Tilt walked and Bumper hovered back down the stairs and caught a glimpse of the goings-on in the barracks, where Frank was fast asleep, Jotaro and Aur both had their heads cocked leftward, and a young cephalopod-like humanoid was rocking back and forth in the corner of Bodega’s living space. She looked more scared than hostile, and a cold shiver seemed to go through her as she mentioned the Varrq.

“Hey, buddy, it’s gonna be okay,” Bumper said, releasing his arms and offering one to the young being. “You’re safe here.”

Tilt approached the two with a squat and a curious squint. “Got a name, squirt?”

Edited by Tre on Sep 26th 2018 at 11:40:47 AM

Ooh... (Bruno says, curiously inching up to the stranger. After staring for a moment, he looks at the others and comments:) Wow, she's scared, yep, uh huh...

(I try to get a closer look, but Roark clears his throat. Sounds like he really wants to get back to the surface. Man, I'm really curious about this person, though! I sigh and give one last wave to the guys before moving toward the space elevator.)

Aur is silently relieved he's not going to get his brains scraped out today. Probably. "Bodega grabbed you from that ship like a sack of potatoes so I don't know about better, but we're definitely not worse." He scratches the back of his head.

Becka joins the others at just the right time, spinning her pistol (poorly) and trying to look cool, before spotting-

"AGAIN?! How many stowaways are on this damn ship?!"

She pouts angrily, not even aiming her gun. "Whatever, not like you're gonna kill us or something."

Suddenly, Bodega appears, literally shoving her way past everyone standing in her way. "Ahkay, just what the world's end, the world's end is goin' on in 'ere? Can't a Prutek go file 'er teeth without a frakken' circus, frakken' circus, showin' up to gawk at-"

She soon stopped dead in her tracks as she noticed the critter with the arms for ears... or was it ears for arms? And then she saw the empty bag nearby...

"Awww, what the- whaddya doin', y'idiot?! I was gonna ask yer questions while yer still in the bag! Proven fact: once the rescued hostage has a visible face, a visible face, they'll hypnotize yer with those pesky li'l emotions 'til ya can't do anythin' objectively 'round 'em! An' inevitably they turn out to be spies or sum'it! Spies!"

Becka yelling "Again?!" was enough to stir Frank out of unconsciousness, and Bodega entering the room was enough to wake him up. Dammit, can't a guy sleep in peace?!

Frank sits up, sees the commotion... and pays the new stowaway no mind, instead talking to the crew.

Guys! Can ya keep th'noise down? I'm tryin' t'sleep!

Frank falls back over, and tries to sleep again.

"Well, she seems like fun..." And a bit of a kleptomaniac it seems...the new stowaway looks over at Becka, looking wearily at her gun. "I wasn't...planning on it?" She winces a little. "But...I guess if you're not gonna kill me...I'm Emmylou, and I have no idea why I'm here. Or was there with the Varrq. Or the guys before that. It's been weird lately."

Emmylou backs up when Bodega encroaches on her. "I—I'm not a spy! I honestly wish I was or something, just anything to prove what's been happening to me..." She then realizes something. "...wait, are you that Bodega person who took me from the Varrq?"

Edited by BlackMageAnolis on Sep 26th 2018 at 1:26:01 PM

Emmylou...Louemmy...hmm... (Bruno mutters.) You remember nothing? Not even how you got there? Not at all? Why do you think that is, hmm?

Edited by kablammin45 on Sep 26th 2018 at 12:41:13 PM

"Better hope you're not a spy! Otherwise we'll take off and launch you into space. Unless you're the type who can survive in that atmosphere in which case the point is kinda moot."

She holsters the gun, reaching out her robotic arm. "So long as you don't promise to kill everyone aboard, I'm Becka. Sort of the captain of this ship, if you wanna be technical."

"Oh my gosh!" Erik slithers over to the newcomer. "You're adorable! Can I pet you?" Unfortunately for him, he is leaning over Emmylou in a way that looks very uncomfortable from her perspective.

The large, shadowy form has left the bar and is now wandering around when she sees the Celestial.

"I sense a highly diverse gathering of organic species upon that vessel. Cool!"

She suddenly turns invisible and silently hovers over to the ship.

Edited by DrNoPuma on Sep 26th 2018 at 4:29:01 AM

"Erik!" Becka scolds. "She may be heartshatteringly adorable, but she could still be dangerous! Keep your distance!"

"yes becka," Erik says as he quickly moves back. "I could be dangerous too, though," he says to himself.

Edited by DrNoPuma on Sep 26th 2018 at 4:44:25 AM

"Thanks, I really needed that", she says blanky at Erik and Becka, a little pale-faced. Walking over, she meets Becka's greeting with a "good to metcha" and shakes the gynoid's hand before turning her attention to Bruno, who seems to have misdiagnosed her with some form of amnesia. "No, it's not that...I just don't get why they picked up some random Uselus girl from off the street. I'm not even out of school, I'm only thirty-eight...and if it had something to do with my research, I don't know why they had to get me instead of my professor...we aren't even doing anything special..." She doesn't seem to want to reflect on her current predicament...it just confuses her, confounds her...

Research, hmm? Hmm...hmm...hmmhmmhmm... (Bruno mutters for a moment before asking again.) You wanna tell us what it is, hmm? Or nope? Nuh uh? Where's this professor guy anyway?

“Huh. Thirty-eight?” Tilt said, keeping his eyes narrowed. “You’re telling me that this tiny one’s got almost two decades over me?”

“Oh, come on, Fulton, you know folks like her age a bit differently,” Bumper said. “Besides, you don’t look any different than you did when you built me.”

Tilt held his replacement arm up and looked at it, then back at Bumper. “Are you sure about that, Bump?”

“Whatever, you get what I meant,” the boxbot said. “Anyway, to my knowledge the Uselus are completely benign residents of the AG. They’re not the type for espionage, they’re academics. Just look at her, she doesn’t mean us any harm.”

Edited by Tre on Sep 26th 2018 at 8:52:53 AM

"Dat's right! I am Bodega Krayze - Bodaygah Kuhraizeh!" she introduced herself, beaming. "Pleased to meetcha, to meetcha!" she said, walking up to the stowaway and viciously shaking her hand-arm. "O' course, if yer a spy, I'd be usin' this arm to rip yer ears off and squeeze yer brains outta yer head through the holes, the holes... aaaaah, I'm just kiddin'! UNLESS y'actually are a spy, 'which case this is just a test! A test! ...Is it a test, is it a joke? Maybe both! Who knows? WAHAHAHA!"