The Camp Crystal Lake Slasher
George R.R. Martin feeds on the tears of his fans, that's why.
Why is there a meat dragon outside my window?
Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.
I am still not very good with summoning magic, sorry!
Why have you made paper planes from the pages of my spellbook?
my current job
Because math class is over.
Why are you wearing a tux while playing football?
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Asgore Adopts Noelle
I have a good reaso- Oh, hi Mark!
What do you mean you lost your job?
The Scarlet Witch
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Because it's Opposite Day.
I had to be a smartass.
Why is Spider Man in my bedroom?
edited 30th Jul '15 7:49:16 PM by PrincessGwen
"Thanks for the lesson. But I don't need you to tell me who I am."
Mario's not the only Wonder here.
Hey, you're the one that invited him!
Since when did you have a choir following you around? I don't remember you having one yesterday.
These two may literally be more bark than bite, but they are no less tenacious than everyone else.
my current job
Watching The Passion will do that shit do to you.
Goddamn! Who goes around with 6 names?!
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Boisterous woman
Someone running from the police that's who.
Where did all of these dead bodies come from?
"Tatsumi... No matter how you spin it, we commit murder."
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
Dead bodies? What dead bodies? There's no bodies here. Move along, citizen.
Why is my entire computer encased in Jell-O. AGAIN?
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
Mario's not the only Wonder here.
Don't worry. I somehow managed to fit your entire computer into a transparent, airtight glass cube before encasing it in Jello. I'm quite impressed with the result myself. 
What the hell happened to your room, and why are there corpses stacked to the ceiling?!
![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
Well, I guess you're the next one on the top of that stack! 
edited 1st Aug '15 6:09:00 AM by aNinjaWithAIDS
These two may literally be more bark than bite, but they are no less tenacious than everyone else.
Boisterous woman
Because it peed on me.
Why is their a picture of you and Saddam Hussein on your front desk?
"Tatsumi... No matter how you spin it, we commit murder."
my current job
Hey, a troll's gotta develop some photoshopping skills!
Why are you cooking my shoes?
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Because I'm making filet of sole.
Why didn't you lock the front door?
Mario's not the only Wonder here.
To quote Admiral Ackbar: "It's a trap!". I rest my case.
Why did you glue a block of wood to Johnny's foot?
These two may literally be more bark than bite, but they are no less tenacious than everyone else.
Boisterous woman
I wanted him to feel taller.
why is my car a wreck after you took it for a drive?
"Tatsumi... No matter how you spin it, we commit murder."
my current job
Because aliens came.
Why are you replacing my guitar strings with rope?
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Boisterous woman
Because I wanted to hang out with you more.
Why is their neo Nazis in your house and your mother is serving them cookies?
"Tatsumi... No matter how you spin it, we commit murder."
The Camp Crystal Lake Slasher
You and your mom are Jews, so I did you a favor.
Why is there a cow doing splits on the living room floor?
Jason has come back to kill for Mommy.
my current job
He's practicing for "skatebords."
Why is the barstool on fire?
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Spooky Scary Boneheaded Man
Long story short, robot alien zombie wizard ninja pirates.
Should I be concerned as to why you have an entire sacrificial altar set up to the Helix Fossil?
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous
Back after a long hiatus
PRAISE HIM
Why do you worship the Dome Fossil? That is HERESY!
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
Mario's not the only Wonder here.
I swear that I am not a "heretic" to the Helix Fossil. I never worshiped it in the first place.
Why did you put popcorn seeds down my gas tank?
These two may literally be more bark than bite, but they are no less tenacious than everyone else.
Asgore Adopts Noelle
It's a new alternative to Gasoline!
What'd you just say?
DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!
Why does everyone I like keep dying in Game of Thrones?
"The Stick has sentimental value. It's like an enormous, hideous teddy bear we can kill things with." -rikalous