Synchtube Tropers (Riff on Videos and Movies)

I won't be back until Monday (maybe), but this video might be of interest to everyone:

It did have a couple of interesting things to say that I haven't heard before in countless other videos and stories. I'm gonna need to add that video to tonight's playlist.

Anyway, as I promised, we're kicking off Starcrash Saturday tonight with none other than Doom House (plus the followup Death Hat, and an assortment of other videos)

Then, at the top of the coming hour, Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, David Hasselhoff, Paul Tissier, Joe Spinell, Christopher Plummer, and Police Robot L become immortal movie legends in STARCRASH!

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Edited by SeanMurrayI on Aug 18th 2018 at 7:17:51 AM

Tonight, the movie that indirectly provided us with our own "REAL GORE" meme.

Roberts Blossom, the weird old neighbor from Home Alone, plays "Ezra (Ez) Cobb" (an expy of the Ed Gein) in Deranged.

The gore definitely ain't real, but it was a fresh beginning in special effects and makeup from a young Tom Savini.

Okay, tonight we mark the return of Electra Elf & Fluffer to the pre-show playlist, along with some other stuff.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, we got the novel dramatization of the crimes of Wisconsin grave robber/serial killer Ed Gein (renamed "Ezra Cobb"), as portrayed by one Roberts Blossom in Deranged. Come for the campy crazy... stay for the REAL GORE!

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Tonight, we revisit the biggest display of wasted energy and outlandish ideas in any movie not called The Apple.

Of course, this had to have been first released in 1991, and rewatching it tonight has everything to do with its own batshit spectacle as much as it could also bring context to our own enjoyment and analysis of our last Bold Letter title we watched earlier this month, Robert Altman's The Player.

Not only would this movie feature three actors who would go on to make notable appearances in The Player (2 celebrity cameos, 1 Richard E. Grant), the backstory of this film's own making could easily be spun as something of an agreeable commentary on what The Player says about Hollywood films being made (i.e. not being art, script writers becoming unnecessary to the "creative" process).

This film reunited producer Joel Silver and actor Bruce Willis. The two apparently got along very well while making The Last Boy Scout ( and also released the same year as tonight's movie), however other creative minds behind that film hated working with Silver, in particular. (Director Tony Scott loathed him so much that he based the character "Lee Donowitz" in True Romance—the movie producer and heavy cocaine user/dealer—on Silver himself).

Once again working together on tonight's film, leading actor Bruce Willis suddenly found himself in a movie shoot where the producer holding all the money would allow his star to exert more creative control. This resulted in Bruce Willis bouncing around "ideas" (specifically, whatever bullshit Willis just thought could be a fun thing for him to do, such as pretending he's a talented musician/singer) for individual movie scenes left and right... and getting a lot of them made. This would ultimately result in Willis receiving a "writing" credit for the "story" for the only time in his movie career and, possibly, having more creative influence on this film than even the actual writers and director. And isn't that a crazysad story?

So brace yourselves and get set to reface Hudson Hawk.

Edited by SeanMurrayI on Aug 20th 2018 at 12:27:29 PM

So we kick off with another one of Lowtax's old "Gaming Garbage" videos and a lot more of New York City public access television, culminating in the "Raving Conspiracy Fillibuster Episode" of Electra Elf & Fluffer.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, it's truly THE definitive Bruce Willis movie, and it's utter maddness—Hudson Hawk!

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This fits well with all the old footage of Times Square and 42nd St that pants ~iflewaway had to share last night.

Tonight's film takes place back in the early-to-mid-80's when the sex industry and grindhouse theaters was still going strong in the neighborhood (before it totally began to rot—like in that one video pants found from 1990—and before Guiliani could have the place disinfected and "Disneyfied"). Kathleen Turner plays a fashion designer who moonlights as a prostitute who gets caught between two men—one stuck in a loveless marriage and hired by her fashion company employers to surveil her and winds up attracted to her, the other being a street preacher with hopes of saving her soul from sin who has a lot more going on than it first seems.

Anthony Perkins as the street preacher is easily the best role he's ever had, after playing Norman Bates in Pyscho.

Get set to revisit Crimes of Passion.

Alright, we're running more of Electra Elf & Fluffer because I can't get enough of that all of a sudden (and fits in well enough with the Manhattan "feel" of our feature presentation), and Jaime Loftus returns for Super Deluxe.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, Kathleen Turner stars, but Anthony Perkins steals all the scenes in Crimes of Passion

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Behold, for your consideration, movies that grossed less than four hundred bucks in their opening day: http://mentalfloss.com/article/54571/11-movies-made-less-400-us-box-office

There have been independent and foreign films with so little promotional backing, that they've recorded anywhere between $9 and $11 in some cities on their opening weekend (in other words, they'd sell just one ticket at a single theater).

EDIT: Also... A lot of other notorious box office bombs of this variety that at least manage to make a little over $1000 in multiple theaters still generally fare even worse than most of the movies listed in this article, after averaging their total gross against the number of theaters it was shown at. For example, United Passions notorious $918 US box office averages to a take of less than $92-per-theater it was screened at (ten total).

Edited by SeanMurrayI on Aug 21st 2018 at 11:56:54 AM

Today's date is DOUBLY important. It's not only Weng Weng Wednesday, when we regularly gather to remember and celebrate our favorite Filipino miniature James Bond. It's also the anniversary date of this thread's very existence—the day that our troper subculture became solidified and legitimized—that marks the end of our anniversary retrospective season.

With all that in mind, get hyped for The Impossible Kid with another rendition of "The Weng Weng Rap."

Alright, we wrap up our Annual Anniversary Retrospective tonight on Weng Weng Wednesday with cRiT1KaL, David Hasselhoff, and Chris Morris in JAM.

Then at the top of the coming hour, Weng Weng is taking over the place as "Agent 00" in The Impossible Kid.

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

Hi all, I'm most certainly hyped for this.

Also I'd be more than happy to share this Weng Weng avatar to anyone who asks.

Edited by I-Teleported-Bread on Aug 22nd 2018 at 4:20:58 AM

I'll gladly accept a Weng Weng avatar.

Anyway, we return to original, never before seen programming tonight with... something that actually should feel surprisingly familiar to most anybody.

Tonight, Ralph Macchio's Karate Kid schtick is transplanted to the southern blues music scene. He plays a budding, talented guitarist dubbed "Lightning Boy" who tracks down an old blues musician who once knew the legendary (in every sense of the word) Robert Johnson that ultimately becomes Lightning Boy's "Mr. Miyagi-like" wise mentor.

After traveling together from New York to Mississippi, everything culminates in a guitar battle where Lightning Boy's gotta outplay The Devil's own guitarist (Steve Vai) with his mentor's soul on the line.

From director Walter Hill (The Warriors, Streets of Fire), and co-starring Joe Seneca, Joe Morton, and Jami Gertz!

This is Crossroads.

Alright, we return to more never-before-seen entertainment tonight with ...more of Dominik Diamond stuck in the mid-2000's, Everything is Terrible... and Internet Comment Etiquette talking shit.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, we got an ALL-STAR CAST including Ralph Macchio, Joe Seneca, Steve Vai, and Jami Gertz! I dare anybody to name me a cooler ensemble cast without Jami Gertz. "The Karate Kid" has got the blues, and now he's playing guitar to win his Mr. Miyagi's soul... literally, in a guitar battle against the Devil. It's Crossroads, a Walter Hill film.

Join us! https://cytu.be/r/TroperCoven

http://t2i.cvalenzuelab.com/

What exactly is this? Is there any method to how the pictures get generated or is it all random? I can't even figure out a connection between anything I type and the pictures that get generated. Anyway...

Oh, Ho-Oh-HOOOOOOoooooooooooooo...

This Kung Fu Friday, we follow the story of a young man who travels far and wide to learn the art of kung fu, but unfortunately, he keeps running into a problem with a dagger-wielding assassin murdering all of his martial arts masters, so ultimately the young man must take everything he's learned from each of them and avenge his fallen masters.

Pretty much the plot of every old chop-socky movie ever, but with more ridiculous contrivance.

This is Daggers 8.

Oh, Ho-Oh-HOOOOOoooooooooooooooo...

We'll be kicking off Kung Fu Friday now with the return of Takeshi's Castle and assorted chop-socky insanity.

Then at the top of the coming hour, we got even more chop-socky insanity with Daggers 8.

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This movie is gonna be a completely batshit mess.

Behind the scenes, this is essentially a Russian action movie... Written by Russians, filmed in Moscow, starring a Russian bodybuilder-turned-actor... but co-produced and distributed by an independent film company based in Florida who were able to score a couple of recognizable names and faces from American movies and television (David Carradine, Sherilyn Fenn... Andrew Divoff?!?) to broaden its international appeal.

On the other side of the camera, the story premise of this film has got to be the most convoluted mashup of genres and plot conventions that I've come across in recent memory...

• The protagonist (the ex-bodybuilder) is a street racing superstar who is also... [double-checking Wikipedia] "the leader of an anti-illegal drug vigilante group."
• The above character goes by the name "Wolf."
• Our drug-busting, street-racing hero named "Wolf" meets his match in the form of... [again, double-checking Wikipedia] "a sly American archeology professor named Michael Nazzaro who has developed a liking for drag racing on Moscow's streets in order to follow Wolf."
• This same American archeology professor who is as good of a street racer as Wolf is also... [still relying on Wikipedia] a West Point graduate, a descendant of a Templar Knight, and "in possession of a 16th-century book passed on to him through generations in his family."
• Wolf happens to be in possession of a Templar medallion, which the street racing West Point Templar Knight archeologist is very interested in, as the medallion holds the key to decoding a name in another Templar book that he had come to Moscow to find.
• Wolf and the street racing West Point Templar Knight archeologist agree to join forces when they run afoul of a Colombian drug cartel, the Russian mafia, Russian police, and David Carradine playing a "famous historian" who is also a descendant of an enemy of the Templars who wants to destroy the Templar artifacts.

Everybody got all that?

This is Treasure Raiders...

Edited by SeanMurrayI on Aug 25th 2018 at 12:53:04 PM

Tonight, I take over for Treasure Raiders. Before that, we have some Bob Ross and some other miscellaneous items in the pre-show.

Join up.

~lewattoo ~Noaqiyeum ~Finger Puppet ~Colonel Cathcart ~Completely Normal Guy ~TAPETRVE ~Rockonman ~Mystic Eclectic ~Shippudentimes ~Maple Samurai ~Tomodachi ~iflewaway

It got a 2.

Back to the crossroads, huh?

The first movie bearing the title Crossroads that we've watched just a few nights ago was pretty fun and worthwhile... This one, on the other hand, I remember being critically panned upon its theatrical release in 2002 (although its notoriety was likely "overshadowed" by a different giant disasterpiece released that same year and also starring a pop singer... not to mention Glitter,    X   , released a year prior), and then I had completely forgotten about it until I came across the 1986 movie bearing the same title.

So here we are... A road trip movie with appeal for all girls 14-years-old and under (I'm assuming... My sister must have seen this in theaters back in middle school with some of her friends, and I don't know anybody else who would care enough to want to watch this) about three childhood friends who become estranged in high school but learn to bond all over again after a post-graduation cross-country roadtrip.

Principally designed as an acting vehicle for Britney Spears and supported by Taryn Manning, Zoe Saldana, Kim Cattral... and Dan Aykroyd. Fasten your seatbelt and get ready for Crossroads.

Alright, tonight we got Jerma, Sacha Borat Cohen, and C.O.P.S.

Then, at the top of the coming hour, we got Britney Spears in her first and (I'm pretty sure) last-ever starring role in a major motion picture: Crossroads.

How will we be getting through this one?

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If last night somehow managed to avoid a dreaded    X    rating, then I don't expect us to be so lucky tonight:

Andy Kauffman, in his first (and last) leading performance in a movie, and Bernadette Peters are robots who fall in love and decide to escape from a factor while awaiting repairs, and everything goes downhill from there. Also featuring Christopher Guest, Dick Miller, Mary Woronov, and the voice of Jerry Garcia.

Effects makeup in this movie was done by the late, great (very great) Stan Winston. The majority of his work should most certainly be familiar to everybody who has ever watched a movie before (just take a look through his list of credits), but the appearances of Kauffman's and Peters' characters is must easily be his worst makeup work ever.

This is Heartbeeps...

So we got Jerma... Dominik Diamond... an odd Christian music video with an awful "Pop-Up Video" premise...

And to cap it all off at the top of the coming hour, Andy Kauffman in Heartbeeps. This is really gonna suck.

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