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CrystalGlacia from Cedarpointland
Apr 24th 2011 at 8:38:33 PM

Yeah, we do seem to be crowding this thread.

Maybe we could chat on the actual Character Development Thread discussion page. It's over here.

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Apr 24th 2011 at 9:13:09 PM

RE the nomads on page twenty-one: Actually the disputes were about who would assimilate the nomads. Basically it was between two countries where the highest concentrations of nomads traveled through, and one decided to assimilate the nomads to gain a large amount of undeveloped land and/or take the nomads under their protection, while the other thought that was a bad idea.

No, it's not a very pure sentiment on either side.

Dec Stayin' Alive from The Dance Floor
Stayin' Alive
Apr 24th 2011 at 9:16:11 PM

Writing the beginning of a scene with a character waiting for his Fate Worse than Death, and he can't confide in anyone his last secret before it happens. Attempting to make it a major downer when I know the guy is gonna be fine is hard.

300 words, currently.

edited 24th Apr '11 9:16:39 PM by Dec

Nemo enim fere saltat sobrius, nisi forte insanit Deviantart.
OhSoIntoCats from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Apr 24th 2011 at 10:13:39 PM

Dakka is now Scottish. And probably in need of a different name...

CrystalGlacia from Cedarpointland
Apr 25th 2011 at 4:51:16 AM

Now that I know that Vince's powers are chemical in nature, I suddenly have the urge to write about him preparing dinner using the power of chemistry. What am I gonna need... chemistry courtesy of Gerbs, Food Porn, Reality Warping... yeah, I think I got it.

edited 25th Apr '11 7:02:03 AM by CrystalGlacia

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Fancolors I draw stuff. from Land of the Mamelucos
I draw stuff.
Apr 25th 2011 at 9:33:10 AM

So...am I doing it right?

If not, I apologize in advance.

CrystalGlacia from Cedarpointland
Apr 25th 2011 at 9:47:28 AM "Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Fancolors I draw stuff. from Land of the Mamelucos
I draw stuff.
CrystalGlacia from Cedarpointland
Apr 25th 2011 at 10:58:26 AM

Oh, you're doing fine. The objective is to learn about your characters and/or practice writing, so if you're doing either of those, you're on the right track!

And I keep getting this Foe Yay vibe from the Magician/Ozmond in regard to Cyrus. It's creepy, but if that's in character for him, then go for it.

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
jasonwill2 True art is Angsty from West Virginia
Apr 25th 2011 at 12:06:41 PM

these character castles and stuff go way too fast for me to participate. WAY too fast or else I would get in one.

as of the 2nd of Nov. has 6 weeks for a broken collar bone to heal and types 1 handed and slowly
FreezairForALimitedTime Responsible adult from Planet Claire
Responsible adult
Apr 25th 2011 at 4:07:52 PM

I am very pleased with this one-off character I just inserted into my latest work. In addition to having just the right amount of personality to justify his actions (and how he got into the mess he did), he also (in a very natural way) manages to give our heroes some information which will be extremely necessary to them about two or three chapters from now.

"Proto-Indo-European makes the damnedest words related. It's great. It's the Kevin Bacon of etymology." ~Madrugada
CarnivorousMoogle Carnie M. from In Your Fridge
Carnie M.
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:13:27 PM

OH GOD

TWO-AND-A-HALF THOUSAND WORDS IN ONE SITTING

MY BRAIN IT HURTS SO MUCH

(On the plus side, yay I got two-and-a-half thousand words down, and it only took me three hours of intense brain-melting! Hurrah!)

Still working on Good Style, so bear with me.
QQQQQ from Canada
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:16:39 PM

[up] [awesome]

these character castles and stuff go way too fast for me to participate. WAY too fast or else I would get in one.

Hm. I'm quite at awe how rapidly our Carnival is going. In a matter of three days, has the thread picked up 450+ posts. Much of these posts, I notice, have just the bare-bones sentence needed to make it like the character is doing something:

Cyrus whipped out his pistol, aimed at the bird's neck.

He pulled the trigger. It wasn't a ghost, but it was being hit with a bullet nonetheless.

Which might become unhealthy for one's writing habits. I put having significant content in posts in the guidelines, in the hopes people would have something more like this:

A tingle went up Mary's spine. She stopped in her tracks, as if she had hit a brick wall. Her nose wrinkled, and her eyes widened. She was in the upper-right section of the carnival, in front of the Top Spin. It consisted of a passenger platform connected to two beams that made it spin around. The yellow and red paint was chipped and faded, and the fence around it had holes in the chain link.

Although she didn't see any spirits—or Manifestations—around, Mary was having the same feeling that she had when the passenger car attacked her. It was like she stepped into a predator's territory, and it had her in its sight. She looked behind her back. There was nothing but rain, gravel, and pieces of paper.

There were too many pieces of paper.

The paper was floating in the wind, blocking the way where she came from. They rotated in a clockwise position, as if they were alive. A menacing yellow aura emitted from them.

"Oh no..." she reached for her gun, which was attached to a holster on her thigh. She lifted up her foot, and unstrapped it. She carefully picked up the holster, and attached it to a belt ring sewn into her jeans. She reach for the gun...

An unearthly screech rang out in the carnival, echoing. She ducked down and covered her rings. Her heartbeat quickened, and her fear heightened.

"It's..." Mary thought, "It's..."

The paper flown into the air.

"Emptiness?" This time, Gant's laugh is loud, echoing among the trees as he throws his head back. "Oh, how mistaken you are about me. Let me say what differentiates humans from ants or monkeys. Power. Some, such as you, are filled in the soul by love. I consume and am consumed by battle; every time I can test myself against a yet-stronger foe, I am assured of my own capacity for pure might. I can move just a bit faster, strike just a bit harder, solve my opponent just a bit better."

He shrugged. "Yes, love pleases. But the world cares not for pleasure, and fate demands that certain qualities be met by her champions. Those who overcome her whims, through strength, obtain more. Those who are weak have the destiny of losing what they have. And power, that universal moral negotiator, determines who makes the morals, who makes their decisions the force of law and damnation."

"For all the praise that love garners, it is specific. Limited. I have tasted the scent of love, and it is a fine thing, but it should be a footnote, a thing secondary to the perfecting of oneself, and it must be understood within fatalistic limits. If fate orders me to fight instead of loving, there can be no other choice, and I fight. Because power does for me what love can not. Demonstrates that my destiny has been cast by my own hand."

He straightens his head, looks straight at her. "I am sated with war; there is nothing that love offers me. Of course, there exists one whom I love, but we have been separated for a while; I expect to see her again in a year or two." Or a decade. It depended on how long it would take him to hammer out the oddities of his mind.

"I have found that this is what dwells inside me. Nothing more."

I do not consider myself splitting hairs about this regard. I think if it were possible to slow the pace down (so you won't find yourself refreshing every couple of seconds), I would prefer to liken it to a game of Poker. Or a game of chess. Each post is like watching another player's turn in a high-tense place — make every second count.

In case this analogy is not clear enough for you, let me elaborate in the practical aspects. We refresh the page to see what the other is going to do. But for what? To merely confirm that they've made a hit on a ghostly foe? To make mere small talk that fiction writing would gloss over, without second thought? I find it unsatisfying, waiting for the story to get its move-on in this manner.

The way many people post in Character Threads, it is like reading a web serial, where they post a paragraph a day. You have to wait so long until the next paragraph.. where instead, they can post a whole chapter in a week— and you can catch all the intensity in one sitting. Ja? (Read this paragraph again, to make it clear.)

So I might add another guideline, to both help slow the rapid pace down, and to encourage more depth in writing. To elevate the Character Thread beyond casual roleplay:

  • Post at least a few full paragraphs. Did you react to the other characters in the scene? Did you act out and flesh out your character at all? “A few full paragraphs” means exactly that: at least 2-3 full paragraphs, or at least 12-15 sentences. Paragraphs are at least five sentences.
  • Put significant action in your post. This can mean you might introduce a new element that advances the plot, have your character take an action that the other players can’t ignore, or that sets up something for later. You might simply characterize your character(s), be it by delving into his/her thoughts, or having them take seemingly trivial actions that reveal aspects of the character underneath. You might explore the relationships between the characters, be it between your own characters or with those of another player. These are all examples of significant action.

In short, more depth per post, immersion and story can be intensified faster this way, and this can help curb the rapidity.

edited 25th Apr '11 5:22:38 PM by QQQQQ

OhSoIntoCats from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:20:53 PM

In that case, I'm dropping.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:22:53 PM

While I think that Q's example tends to be far more prosey and elaborate than needed, the point stands. You ain't in the RP fora. You don't have to whip out a masterpiece, but put some thought into what you're writing.

buy my book!
OhSoIntoCats from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:25:31 PM

The more time I spend on these character development threads, the less time I have for actual writing. Sorry.

chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:32:52 PM

Well, at least I know I could write fully if I put some effort to it. The only problem is that I do better with writing slow solo scenes (like the example QQQQQ gave) and the post I linked to in the Critque thread. It's hard writing a full paragraph.

To see why, play a drinking game. Every time I use the word "looked", or "turned", take a shot. Die from drowning.

@QQQQQ: The reason why what you think is suppose to be happening isn't happening because you hadn't been really in a thread for awhile, letting newer people like Crystal Galatica and I run the show. Both of us are younger and less inexperienced than you. To get people to really write, you need to get an old regular to run the show.

However, I am content with what we have right now. All we have to do is to just put a little more effort into it, make the battle system more fluid, find a way to discourge ninjas, and enforce the latter. One of the reasons why some of us are lacking because of the fear of ninjas.

Maybe encourge Ninja Editing, since writing is suppose to be revised?

edited 25th Apr '11 5:37:21 PM by chihuahua0

The dog days are over.
animemetalhead Runs on Awesomeness from Ashwood Landing, ME
Runs on Awesomeness
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:33:56 PM

Part of it, I think, is the action; we're interacting with other's creations in a high-speed scenario. To me, anything longer than one or two sentences feels like pointless padding in the middle of an action scene.

For me, part of it is my writing style. I put more focus on quick, short descriptions of actions rather than looks into the characters heads and behind their actions.

No one believes me when I say angels can turn their panties into guns.
QQQQQ from Canada
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:35:00 PM

The more time I spend on these character development threads, the less time I have for actual writing. Sorry.

The irony of short posting is that I find you spend more time refreshing for a response than typing the post out. With good posts like I've shown above, you can type something you can become proud of. You worry less about when the other person is going to react; rather you wonder how the others will act if they do. So you can come back to the thread after a break, and smile at what will happen. Great setups create great payoffs. Just as planned!

I think this can also resolve time zone differences, in a way. You won't feel like you're missing out in the action, if you're in Australia and I'm In Bruges. It becomes like an internet chess game, played out in intervals.

edited 25th Apr '11 5:38:40 PM by QQQQQ

OhSoIntoCats from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:37:55 PM

These threads will give problems to characters who are neither introspective nor wordy, of which the characters I need to develop are neither. Having wordy or introspective characters make them develop more quickly, yes, but having characters that are neither is not a bad thing. It's just impossible to develop them as that when you're forcing them into shapes they're not.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:39:50 PM

No, you can have characters who are neither. Just gotta know how to say something.

It's a writing exercise. I mean, I could link to beautiful rps, (but I won't, cause it's NSFW) to show you what I mean.

Every character thinks. Every character feels. Every character smells. Every character tastes. No matter how cut off from the world they are.

It's not for everyone. Tis why I avoid the character threads. My writing skills are simply too shabby. It's why I write graphic novel scripts, which lets me write the specific in the image in my head, without having to make it sound pretty.

edited 25th Apr '11 5:41:41 PM by MrAHR

buy my book!
animemetalhead Runs on Awesomeness from Ashwood Landing, ME
Runs on Awesomeness
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:41:21 PM

Also, it's a lot easier to write long, meaningful posts if you're causing the action than just reacting to it and waiting to see how your that affected the plot. (Which, unfortunately, is what I've been doing as this is my first Character thread and I'm pretty much just along for the ride.)

No one believes me when I say angels can turn their panties into guns.
OhSoIntoCats from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:41:47 PM

Well, I've been in other R Ps, and have characters who were originally not meant to be introspective at all been forced into being it with word limits (and STILL they often went under). And, either way, I absolutely cannot write, as I've proven that on the critique thread. As I said, I'm out.

QQQQQ from Canada
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:43:55 PM

These threads will give problems to characters who are neither introspective nor wordy, of which the characters I need to develop are neither. Having wordy or introspective characters make them develop more quickly, yes, but having characters that are neither is not a bad thing. It's just impossible to develop them as that when you're forcing them into shapes they're not.

This is where I'm trying to provoke you to get better at. In Character Threads, the intention is to put your character in a shared place, and watch them grow deeper as they find situations outside of their comfort zone. Does your fighter have a deep heart in him? Can your Carlian guard learn to open up to humans, and share his past experiences? This is Character Development. As unfamiliar and unknown as you actually experience it — compared to what you originally thought was "development."

edited 25th Apr '11 5:44:55 PM by QQQQQ

chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 25th 2011 at 5:44:27 PM

Also, QQQQQ, can we please have a discussion thread for Character Carnival? I know OOC-chatter is discourage, and you say that it draws us out of the story. However, do you prefer us blabbling off in one thread, or putting Swiss cheese all over the main thread, while derailing this thread? People like to chatter. It's a part of doing a collab story.

EDIT: Mary is at home in the thread. My goal is to figure out what person she exactly is. She's an author, she's curious, she's proactive, she's protective of her carnival...she's growing as I go along.

edited 25th Apr '11 5:46:02 PM by chihuahua0

The dog days are over.

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