Guess the Plot to a Bollywood Movie

Arnold Schwarznegger's Commando meets My Immortal, set in 40s-era British India.

Ta-da!◊

edited 31st Dec '13 8:44:20 AM by arcanephoenix

In an epic quest to get Grandma's ashes home from the airport, an incredibly stylish brother and sister duo from Tamil Nadu must hijack a futuristic hover-scooter (the titular vehicle) and brave the onslaught of government agents who want to seize it. Little do they know that the real target is not on their sweet ride, but their urn, as Grandma is secretly a martian in hibernation, awaiting the date of 12/21/12 to save the world from the apocalypse. Will the shades-clad siblings be able to face the conspiracy and discover the truth about their beloved grandmother? And what will happen when a certain red Teletubby enters the fray, driven by a blood vendetta against the family? It's Ready, Steady, Po on... Chennai Express.

Groovy, maaaaan.◊

edited 31st Dec '13 9:52:06 AM by MobileLeprechaun

The Hindi Elvis Presley has attracted the ire of an evil motorcycle enthusiast who is hellbent on slaughtering all the cows in Punjab to fashion a leather cap large enough for his massive head that constantly grows in proportion to his ego. The two characters vie for the approval of Dhaksha, a beautiful girl from Goa, who is utterly baffled as to why she can't find a better suitor than these two weirdos.

The World's First Super-Soaker Action Hero?◊

A man is to rescue a girl from a race of homophobic crab people by defeating them with a homosexual gun that shoots gay pride, in a critique of traditional Hindi values.

wat◊

They say, "Every rose has its thorn"... And Miley Cyrus will be aggressively making out with ALL of the rose thorns in some weird twist on Valentine's Day iconography in her next muzak video that will change your perceptions on all this stuff forever, because she's edgy like that.

I'm at a loss for words now...◊

edited 1st Jan '14 8:00:44 PM by SeanMurrayI

Elvis reincarnates as some sexy buff guy and pilfers some unconscious belly dancer from the ruins of a ravaged city after killing hordes of blue-blooded demons in numbers so vast, their blood coats the very air and ground they walk upon.

I'M CRAZY LIKE A FOOL

An out-of-touch father fights for his son's admiration. He ends up turning into a juvenile Call of Duty dudebro, while his son grows up to despise his father for what he has become.

Am I my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother?◊

A wealthy sadist makes an obscene bet with his less affluent twin brother: If he blows off his nutsack with 9mm, he'll receive a million dollars. His brother is prepared to do this.

The Walls Have Eyes 2◊

edited 6th Jan '14 8:13:38 AM by SeanMurrayI

A woman with a magic banjo is forced to fend off a wizard's army of floating hands (which of course engage in a bizarre dance sequence) as he uses his magic eyes to look for it. The banjo is the wizard's, and the woman wants to pawn it off to get enough money to save the orphanage.

Don Thumb◊

edited 6th Jan '14 8:34:04 AM by Jinxmenow

That link appears to be broken... but fortunately, I've already uploaded the same file to this wiki's very own image library, after having trouble posting that same url in the past.

Go ahead, somebody actually try and guess the plot to this movie now...

edited 8th Jan '14 8:31:46 PM by SeanMurrayI

Alright, nevermind, I'll take a guess myself...

Paul Rodriguez and Hervé Villechaize team up and go on a shooting spree, while a heroin addict grows demented and becomes convinced that the guns are calling out for him by name. The police are incapable of stopping this madness because they confused their guns with their walkie talkies and are completely incredulous as to why they aren't hearing any response from dispatch.

You ever see an evil smurf before?◊

Grover's gone rogue! He's looking to claim all of Sesame Street for his own, and he's not gonna let anyone stop him.

However, the denizens of Sesame Street think they may have found their saviors; one mustachioed man with an afro and his teenzage sidekick. Together, they'll take down Grover's evil syndicate by any means necessary in:

Sesame's Row: Coming soon to a theater near you.

Revy, that's a... new look for you.◊

Its the time to necro!

A Mary Sue 'beautiful and deadly' assassin in the badlands of Uttar Pradesh fights the evil patriarchy through songs, seductive dances, sex and the occasional gunshot.

The most camp gangster, ever. Incidentally, I actually do recommend the film.◊

edited 9th Jun '14 10:55:52 AM by arcanephoenix