Ahh, console video games (or vidcons as I call them). the ultimate medium of expression, able to convey any emotion ranging from hatred to love, loyalty to fear, all in front of our eyes. Ah, and with lovingly crafted art, music, and the ability to control the action, vidcons are the ultimate combination of the high arts. While I tend to play the stoic, I will be the first to admit that vidcons haven driven me to cry, to scream and shout, to feel actual hate; such is the power of this force beyond our wildest reckoning. And here I am, before you, to temp your tongues with the taint of such a tantalizing topic.
And the Japanese, the true geniuses behind the world of video games. Pah, I throw my scorn upon such incompetents of the West who would mock the true art of the Japanese with 'games' such as Baldur's Gate and Madden. Perhaps it is that the West is not as intelligent as the East, but this is a matter for another day. Japan has given us such masterpieces as the Final Fantasy series, Star Ocean, Wild Arms, and of course, Arc the Lad. Yes, some of the finest vidcons in the world were created by Japanese. I come to you today to ask you in all earnesty, what is your favorite vidcon? I will reveal mine after the grand debate has illustriously begun, but not before the first poster falls victim to my plot of discussion.
In other words, this is a thread on an imaginary forum our avatars frequent. The topic can fluctuate, and its mostly just general discussion.
Capinatator my beloved
I’ve read I. M. Meen’s book. It’s bad, mostly because it’s a bit…self-centered. 2/10, pretty rubbish. On second thought, 0/10. Too self-centered for my liking. Also, there were enough spelling mistakes to fuel Proxima Centauri for a million years. But what do you expect from a wizard whose spells are powered by bad grammar?
Edited by IC1101 on Jan 5th 2022 at 4:22:33 PM
Local chaetognath fan
A bee, a beetle and a moth
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
(x1-3) Why you peaces of-!
Well, Im sure other folks on this thread will be able to appreciate it! Here, gaze upon one of the best peaces of literature ever written!
Another perfect landing, Captain Meen, said lovely Lieutenant Wanda Mann.
All in a day's work, Wanda, replied the brilliant and handsome rocket pilot.
"Captain Meen!" yelled Lieutenant Wanda Mann over her helmet intercom. I found something!
Easy, Wanda, the good-looking rocket pilot calmly replied. "I'll be right there."
Flipping the switch on his Personal Uplifter Pack, Meen soared into the thin Martian air, gliding over the rocky ridges and dunes of red sand that covered the surface of the planet.
He spotted Lt. Mann standing on a dune nearby and floated over to her. She watched as the expert space jockey settled softly on the sand beside her.
All right, Wanda, what have you found? he asked.
Take a look down there, Captain Meen, she replied, pointing to a spot at the base of the enormous dune on which they stood.
they found the ancient rocket ship they were searching for.
it lay at the bottom of a deep crater, covered with centuries of red Martian dust.
"well, wanda, let's go see what's inside," said handsome rocket pilot i. m. Meen, flexing his tremendous muscles.
"whatever you say, sir," wanda replied.
she followed the daring rocket pilot down into the crater, happy to be working with such a brave and neatly-dressed fellow.
captain meen pulled out his blaster and shot the ancient spaceship's rusty hatch off its hinges. Where the hatch had been, there was now a dark hole.
"Let's take a look inside, wanda," said meen, stepping through the hole into the ship.
"Right behind you, captain meen," said Lieutenant wanda mann, who was thinking what a joy it was to be working with such a brave and handsome space pilot.
The hallway beyond the hatch was dark, so Lieutenant Wanda Mann took out her flashlight and turned it on.
"Look, Captain Meen!" she cried as her light struck an object lying on the dusty floor ten feet away.
It was the skeleton of a huge alien creature, wearing some type of space suit.
It's so big! exclaimed Wanda.
I'd say it stood twenty feet tall when it was alive, give or take a quarter of an inch, replied Meen.
I wonder what killed it? asked Wanda.
"It was killed in the crash, Wanda," replied Meen.
How can you tell, Captain? asked Wanda.
There's a head-sized dent in the ceiling, Meen replied, pointing to the spot. "It looks like the creature whacked its head when the ship slammed into the ground."
Captain Meen wiped the thick dusk from the ancient spaceship's control panel.
"It looks like the power core is still working," he said, pointing to the blinking lights on the panel.
What's this switch for, Captain Meen? asked Lieutenant Wanda Mann, flipping a black switch. Don't touch it, Wanda! yelled Meen, a second too late.
The ship's engines suddenly roared to life, and the ship leaped upward into the atmosphere, flinging Meen and Lt. Mann to the floor.
You've turned on the Megawarp Generator, said Captain Meen, struggling to regain his feet. "We're already light years away from Mars and accelerating."
Whoops, said Wanda.
By the time Captain Meen managed to turn off the Megawarp Generator, the spaceship had entered a strange galaxy millions of light years from home.
I'm really sorry, Captain Meen, said Lieutenant Wanda Mann. I never thought that flipping one switch would make this happen.
No problem, Wanda, said the forgiving rocket pilot. I've always wondered what was out in this corner of the universe.
"Will it be difficult to find our way back?" asked Wanda.
No harder than finding a lost contact lens in the Sahara desert during a sandstorm, replied Meen examining the alien control panel.
"That's a relief," said Wanda.
The stars on the ancient spaceship's viewscreen were unfamiliar to Captain Meen and Lieutenant Wanda Mann his assistant.
"Since we're here anyway Wanda" said brave Captain Meen, "why don't we take a look around the galaxy."
"I think I've figured out the controls Captain," replied Wanda, who was carefully studying a control panel.
"Take us to that greenish planet over there on the left Wanda," said Meen, pointing to the viewscreen.
"Yes, sir," Lt. Mann replied pushing a few buttons. The ship zoomed through space toward the green world.
Captain Meen took over the controls from Lieutenant Wanda Mann.
Using his instincts as his guide he maneuvered the ship to a soft landing on the surface of the strange planet.
"All right Wanda let's see what the locals are like," he said flashing a dazzling smile. Lt. Mann smiled back thinking how lucky she was to be teamed up with such a wonderful man.
Meen and Wanda made their way through the corridors of the ancient ship to the open hatch and exited.
The surface of the planet was made up of a strange spongy rock as green as the grass of Earth. The pair bounced slightly with each step as though their boots had springs in them.
About a thousand meters away an odd structure loomed on the horizon. It was several hundred feet in height dotted with triangular panes of black glass like dark windows. It appeared to be deserted.
"Let's head over there, Wanda," said Meen, pointing at the strange building.
Captain Meen and Lt. Mann entered the strange alien building and looked around. Far above them, the ceiling of the huge room was hidden from view by a sparkly pink cloud. The walls and floor of the room were made of a shiny black material that looked like polished glass.
"There's no one here," said Wanda.
Suddenly, the pink cloud spoke.
"Who dares to enter the sacred Thought Chamber of Grozbik the Wise?"
With each word, the walls of the huge room shook.
"I am Captain I. M. Meen from the planet Earth, and I come in peace," replied Meen calmly.
"You have disturbed Grozbiks thoughts, and you must be punished!" roared the cloud. Tiny bolts of lightning began flickering in the cloud.
"Listen, Grozbik, we don't have time for this," said Meen. "Weve got to get back to Earth, and we need your help. How about it?"
The lightning stopped flickering.
"Hmm," said Grozbik. "Ill help you on one condition."
"And whats the condition?" asked Meen.
"You must give me the answer to the question I was thinking about when you interrupted me," replied the cloud. "If youre correct, Ill help you. But if youre wrong, you remain with me for eternity."
"Wed better get it right, Captain," said Wanda. "Ive got a date on Saturday night."
"O.K., Grizbuk, what's the riddle?" ask clever space pilot I. M. Meen.
"How many heads does a Jixan Gorblebee have?" say the pink cloud.
"What's a Jixan Gorblebee, Captain?" asked Wanda.
"I'm not sure, Wanda, but I have a plan," replied the brave pilot. He speak to the cloud.
"I thought you were going to ask us a tough one, Grizbuk," he said. "Everyone knows that a Jixan Gorblebee has twice as many heads as a Fluvian Sandmutt."
The cloud look confused. Wanda looked even more confused.
"You do know what a Fluvian Sandmutt is, don't you?" asked Meen.
"Well, I...of course I do!" reply the cloud. "You answered the riddle, and I will return you to your planet. Do the universe a favor, Earthlings, and stay there!"
With a bright flash of pink energy, the pair of space adventurers vanish. In the blink of an eye, they were back on Earth.
"You do it, Captain Meen!" said Wanda happily. "You're the bravest, smartest, best-looking space pilot ever!"
"You're right, Wanda, and I also dance a mean polka." said Captain Meen as they walk toward the orange glow of the setting sun.
"Let's get back to the base and find another ship. There's a whole universe waiting for us out here."
So? Dont you other people here agree that Im the greatest writer in thw orld?
Vi: Well, it's not like we're getting attacked by a giant wasp spider guardian! | Leif: Never combine those words ever again.
cat :3
x11 I didn't expect your universe to be so similar to mine, so I didn't bother calculating the Sun's position relative to me. Anyways, I'm currently 125ly away from the sun and I'm planning to set up a factory on Proxima Centauri c, where I'll be producing titanium alloy, warp fuel and miscellaneous electronic components. Anything else?
Skimming over it, I can already see some inconsistent quotation marks and incorrect capitalization. Might take a closer look later.
robot boy.....
grammatical errors are everywhere, but you can polka dance? also, free book!
AI with access to the console
as i said your book only holds value as fuel for the burner.
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
"Can you see what I see?"
Umm... I'm not even sure what to say to this...
Ever wanted to see the most inexplicably horrifying intro to a game ever?
A bee, a beetle and a moth
WHY YOU DARN PEACE OF-!
The Crying Children
"Oh come on cheer up Meen, it was good to hide the clay that Waluigi gave me"
Edited by This on Jan 5th 2022 at 8:35:32 AM
I don’t want to hear anything. I don’t want to see anything, or speak anything…
A bee, a beetle and a moth
AJSSFKGLSDFJFSDJGSFD:JSDFJGL:SGSJSDF!!!
(how due comments have links appear aout of nowere?)
Edited by I--Vanya--I on Jan 5th 2022 at 7:38:12 PM
Vi: Well, it's not like we're getting attacked by a giant wasp spider guardian! | Leif: Never combine those words ever again.
cat :3
...you know, you could probably take this way easier if you stopped putting yourself above everyone else. Seriously.
"Please do not reproduce this textbook." - S. Banach & A. Tarski
robot boy.....
mhm! maybe if you fixed your ego, perhaps youd have a better love life then a book.
Edited by blankb on Jan 5th 2022 at 11:41:00 AM
every time i die (the metalcore band) is peak
AI with access to the console
you could probably have a better love life then me which isnt exactly hard.
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
A bee, a beetle and a moth
To stoop down two the levels off these miserable little goody-goodies? No thank you!
()My love life is already good enough thank you wery much! After all of us three try to guess who has a girlfriend!
AI with access to the console
i had (past tense) a fiance.
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
robot boy.....
hmm, its not you thats for sure, im going to guess maybe uirst.
every time i die (the metalcore band) is peak
cat :3
Ah yes... who am I, expecting Meen to learn...
"Please do not reproduce this textbook." - S. Banach & A. Tarski
Tama May Cry 4: Order of the Toons
Mr Meen is far from the creepiest thing I've seen on this page, wouldn't you say babe?
Well, yeah but try not to push anyone's buttons like him.
Edited by MkayRose on Jan 5th 2022 at 12:53:13 PM
Meet the Tamas!◊ This is where it will end, by my hand.
A bee, a beetle and a moth
(x4) Oh. In the past? Poor you! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
◊
(x3) And youre wrong! Its me whos got a girlfriend—which is something youll never have in your miserable life! aAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! If youre wondering whos my girlfriend...well, Im not the type to brag-ah who am i kidding I AM a type to brag! Her name is Ophelia Chill! A wicked sorceress similar to me! We work together in the Society of Wicked Wizards! I still remeber how I won her over with my lovely poems and creative wickedness! Ad did you know that she once was so close to rewriting the entire course of history to make herself ruler of the world?! Oh Im so proud of her!
AI with access to the console
you've managed to drag up memories i've tried to bury for 65 billion years. the embrace of her, the peace, not having to manage more then a simple transport company... I think im going to go on a vacation to my home.
Edited by Immortalartisan on Jan 5th 2022 at 8:55:19 AM
I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting
"Can you see what I see?"
The Crying Children
"You should try to make video games, like me Wario"
I don’t want to hear anything. I don’t want to see anything, or speak anything…
A bee, a beetle and a moth
You do realize that i have not the slightest idea on how to make video games right?
Tama May Cry 4: Order of the Toons
Man, that's makin' me feel ill.
It's like putting feathers in my stomach...
Nice one, arsehole. Nice one.
ooh! think im sold! i need a bit of fuel for next time im somewhere cold...
Edited by blankb on Jan 5th 2022 at 11:17:42 AM
every time i die (the metalcore band) is peak