The strangest thing you've said today...

Then do I got a girl for him

"Yay! The return of the squeeze!"

"Right in the climax, too! I swear to god, now I've got, like, movie Blueballs or something."

"But I can't pay you! I don't have a monkey!"

Long story. Eventually turned into an inside joke for the rest of the day.

edited 9th Nov '11 12:57:15 PM by GameSpazzer

I hade that two.

"It's like a giant flying doughnut that screams at you in Norwegian."

I don't even know.

"Anthropromorphic ponies? This is nothing. What did we talk about the last time I came back after a long absence, dragon penises? I love you guys."

"'A awkward' is awkward to say but 'an awkward' is not awkward to say."

I actually threatened to report someone today.

Yes, me.

"I am like an asterisk of bamboo and awkwardness!"

Trying to carry several poles in my hands and halfway succeeding.

"His hypnotic blue orbs swayed back and forth..."

My friends and I were making fun of people who use Purple Prose where there really doesn't need to be any. The word "eyes" would've worked just as well.

edited 10th Nov '11 1:13:10 PM by KarlKadaver

"I just went to the bathroom. Where's my pony?"

Earlier, I'd gone to the bathroom and my dad was there when I got back. I'd mentioned this and he said the next time I went to the bathroom maybe I'd get a pony.

Don't worry! If he tries anything, Sledgel the sledgehammer angel will protect us!

This was a while back, but while on camp, we had to use either rocks or our MAN HANDS to bang in tent pegs. Lacking MAN HANDS, my tent group and I used a rock to bang them in. We joked that he was "Rocky the Rock Demon" and would murder us in our sleep.

"You know...it kind of looks like a vagina...mouth..."

Me starting at an Orchid for a little too long.

"Would it be wrong to call a dog a son of a bitch?"

"Whoo! Go Team Pants!"

Impromptu basketball game. We were dividing up teams, and since exactly half of us were sane enough to wear pants in 40 degree weather, we played pants versus shorts.

edited 11th Nov '11 1:43:31 PM by GameSpazzer

We have invented APPLIED THERAPEUTIC ASTRONOMY!

Trying to cheer up a friend with seasonal affective disorder. We hit upon the idea of standardising the seasons by altering the axial tilt of the Earth. :D

edited 11th Nov '11 1:41:11 PM by Noaqiyeum

Aspiring managers and advisers might not be entirely benevolent, but at least they don't plan mass brainwashings. ^_- Not quite as often, at the very least.

Texting with a classmate planning to study PR and Psychology in Germany.

edited 11th Nov '11 4:24:25 PM by betterthanstrawberry

(to dad) "What business do you have inside my pants?"

[said out loud to group:] "Weed? What the hell, how does that got to do with being a prisoner?!

...

I was gonna suggest 'dictatorships'."

In a drama workshop, we were supposed to talk about feelings of being trapped. My friend whispered to me to suggest "smoking drugs", to which I said aloud the lines above.

edited 11th Nov '11 4:47:51 PM by Inhopelessguy

"That's my line, you stupid map!"

Not sure if this is the exact situation, but my dad has the worst habit of deciding he has to talk about something and it can't wait when you're in the middle of watching a movie or tv show.

I think the only remotely weird thing I said today was "Haha, he was all 'Bleh, why are you feeding me leaves?!?'" On my dog, and how he'll sit there begging even if you're just boiling spinach, then if you try to throw him some he'll jump up, catch it in his mouth, and immediately spit it out in disgust... Then bark at it a few times. Dogs are weird.

edited 11th Nov '11 10:01:44 PM by MikeK

"The only thing is room is missing is a bayonet and an apothecary table."

"She's afraid that if she's not entertaining enough, she won't be renewed for another season."

edited 11th Nov '11 10:32:02 PM by Noaqiyeum

@Mike: No, I downloaded a torrent of V for Vendetta to watch on the fifth of Novemeber. The video ends exactly as the parliament building explodes in the climax. It was insanely frustrating, especially since I hate being interrupted while watching movies. My brother has a similar habit to your dad - he always asks what's going on in movies, even if we're both only seeing it for the first time and therefore I wouldn't know any better than him. He doesn't seem to understand the notion that sometimes a story will leave a mystery to be explained later.