"...if you like soccer, well... Welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment, so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0-0 is not enjoyable, unless of course the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies."
—Daniel Tosh, Happy Thoughts
"I'm very excited because this is my time when I was watching World Cup Soccer, my man. I saw World Cup, baby. There's a few soccer fans, the rest of you are going: 'Uh, that's like football without pads, right?' For the rest of the world, it's football. For us, it's 'A strange sport, played by damaged people.'"
— Robin Williams, Live On Broadway
"I wonder if Kid Kleet can go to America and no one respects him, because soccer is not very well-known, or respected here. And he'll be like 'I play football', they're like 'No you don't kid. You play soccer.'"
"Although in the land of the rising gun, Americans received this title as 'Tecmo Cup Soccer Game', presumably because unlike the rest of the world they've still not cottonned on to the idea that a football is something you kick with your foot, and not something you hold in your hands!"
"I don't know what I'm more surprised by; that FIFA officials were actually arrested or that America was behind it. It took the country that cares the least about football to bring down the people who have been ruining it."
