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Quotes / Jacksepticeye

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"Ed just shows you what it's like in the real world. The real world's gonna wanna take you down. It's gonna wanna chop off your legs and arms and everything. You just gotta keep going. You just gotta say fuck the world. Fuck the world and all its rules... with its fucking biology and shit. You just gotta say 'Hey! Screw you, Science!' and just run through everything as best you can and get there to the end! And then when your at your end of your tether, it'll say 'You made it!' Woowoo!"
Episode 3 of Ben and Ed

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"Couples who shit together stay together forever."
"Any bed will do when it's time to WooHoo."
Playthrough of The Sims 4

"Playing Candy Crush gets you laid."
"Broken hearts are the world's biggest cockblock."
Playthrough of HuniePop

"Submarines: blimps of the ocean."
Playthrough of Subnautica

"This is how mankind destroys you. He (the Reaper Leviathan) may be able to come up, destroy my machines, bite my face off but mankind will make him extinct! We go the long way around: We don't just kill one for our next meal, we destroy their habitat and their ecosystem to make sure they never come back again."
Episode 9 of his playthrough of Subnautica, while building a terraformed island base.

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"I'm so happy that you're not afraid to be who you are. Because that's one of the most important things a person has to overcome."

"I hope I can be here, as a voice, as a friend, while playing games for you; if you feel lonely or depressed or anything like that, Jack is here."

"Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually."

"Oh my stars, oh my days, OH MY RIPE TASTY ASSHOLE! OH YOU CAN JUST EAT A SLICE OF BREAD OUT OF MY ASS!"

"The truck is delivering a shipment of giant blowup dildo dolls..."
Playthrough of Grand Theft Auto V

"Murdering people is not a guilty pleasure, that just makes you guilty in court."

"Everything is pain
Got nothing done
"I feel like Stretch Armstrong the first time he went to the moon..."
Playing a moon-exploration level in Happy Wheels

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"GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA!"

"Get the FUCK out of my line!"
Playthrough of Papers, Please

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