Quotes / Jack Stauber

"Time is a boat, and I won't row."

—Jack Stauber, Pressed Flowers

"NO BILLY, YOUR HAIR IS RED! IT'S RED BILLY!"

—The Mom in future when she realizes the guy on the phone really was her son from the future.

"Each day when her parents would head off to Church, Sabrina would open the cupboard and search, for inside she knew lived the miniature man, who made his home behind their lima bean can."

—The narrator at the beginning of Lima Bean Man.

"Son when you grow up, just shut up."

—Penny's dad when the boy told on Penny.

"Si, ne sono valsi valne."

—The Old Guy in easter when confronted by the dad for stealing his son's easter basket.

"Was your dog artisanally bred?"

—The Shopper trying to joke around with the Bread Man in SHOP: A Pop Opera.

"There was a special person involved for this one I think got a lot to do with it— no I made this because I do stunts. I- all this was influenced by badass stunts that I did. Um, backflips, frontflips. Uh, I try to- I try to - I try to, um, push the boundaries of my physical form when I'm doing these stunts...
...Pop is like a language that people speak, it's something that people know how to say. Like it's a way to communicate with people that you wouldn't be able to communicate with throughout like, a different format...
...I grow my beard out, and I grow my hair out, I grow my glasses out, I try to keep everything, you know kind of a little bit... a mask, I guess. Um, and the only way to truly find out who I am is by listening to Pop Food, now available on BandCamp and, um, Soundcloud and YouTube. Excuse me sir uh, I gotta plug this, (holds up CD)I gotta plug the CD. Plug plug plug."

—Jack Stauber during an interview with The Pitt News.

"Tears falling down at the party, saddest little baby in the room. Fears tell me fears, don't get me started. I get a little gray hair for every scare you share."

—Jack Stauber in Oh Klaholma

"SHE CAN'T BE DEAD! SHE CAN'T BE DEAD!"

—The Lima Bean Man after he thinks about his wife for too long.

"If you see someone being happy, leave 'em alone, just leave 'em alone, let them figure it out for themselves."

—Jack Stauber in note on my phone from Nov. 14th last year.

"We did it together because we tried together, and now we can do the show!"

—Jack Stauber during the Rhythm and Brews Festival.

"This song is called "Love Is A Great This Big Thing That Is The Biggest Thing You Ever Did See And It Is Bigger Than The World And Bigger Than Stars It's Called The World It's The Song Of Love""

—Jack Stauber when naming a long title for his live-exclusive song "The Song Of Love" in Rex Theater

REST IS COMFORT

EASE IS COMFORT

BOTH BORN FROM EFFORT

—The captions that flash on the screen during "The End"

"Hey, mom?"
"Oh, hello, honey."
"Where do we go when we die?"
"Oh. Well... we go somewhere very, very nice, and... and... and very faraway, where all our loved ones are."
"Mom?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Why do I miss people... who hurt me?"
"...That's because you're a dummy. Dumb little—stupid little dum-dum."

—The conversation between a mother and her son in "hey mom"

"THAT'S NOT PRIMANTI BROTHERS SANDWICH, THAT'S MY MOTHER!"

— Jack telling a joke about the time he saw a guy with a huge sandwich

"THOSE ARE NO SHOES! THAT'S MY MOTHER!"

— Jack telling a joke about shoes at a live show

"Primanti Brothers? I barely know it!"

— "Jack when he was told that he should go to Primanti Brothers as a part of a joke he was telling."

"What if you could turn time backwards? What if life didn't run on time? Water flowing upstream."

— Jack in a short film called "Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait (2018)".

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