PULL YOUR DAMN PANTS UP, BOY! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT! Dammit, get out of here! And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hog-tie you!
— Tom Anderson, Beavis And Butthead Do America
Ceiling Cat is watching you masturbate.
— LOLcats
<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...
— bash.org
Gabe: You have a webcam that watches the living room?
Tycho: Yeah.
Gabe: Does it watch the living room on... on Thursdays?
Tycho: Pretty much 24-7.
Gabe: I watch... I watch TV in there on Thursdays.
Tycho: I know all about what you do on Thursdays. That's why I put a towel down before I sit on the couch.
This is the world we live in now. A trick can’t happily get pissed on while wearing lady chonies without worrying about the pisser spilling his fetishes to The National Enquirer for a quick check. Somebody needs to add “Do Not Piss and Tell” under “Do Not Kiss and Tell” in the Ho Code....Michael Phelps would win more gold medals if golden showers was an Olympic sport. Actually, that’s not totally true. He’d be lucky to win silver if Kim Kartrashian competed.
—Michael K., "Yup, apparently, he’s really into water sports"
, "Yup, apparently, he’s really into water sports"Morty: And also, knock next time, you know? I mean, I'm sitting in here — I'm fourteen! I got a computer in here, you know!
Jerry: Oh. I, uh, I think I under—
Morty: You know, you're really playing with fire when you burst in here like that, man.
Jerry: I get it. Say no more.
Morty: I mean, one of these days, you know, you're gonna-you're gonna... you're gonna end up seeing something.
Jerry: I got it! Noted. Goodnight.
Jerry: Oh. I, uh, I think I under—
Morty: You know, you're really playing with fire when you burst in here like that, man.
Jerry: I get it. Say no more.
Morty: I mean, one of these days, you know, you're gonna-you're gonna... you're gonna end up seeing something.
Jerry: I got it! Noted. Goodnight.
Lori Loud: "What's wrong, Leni?"
Leni Loud: "L-L-Linky."
Lori Loud: "What happened."
Leni Loud: "I saw little Linky."
Lori Loud: "What about Lincoln?"
Leni Loud: "No. (whispering) I. Saw. Little. Linky."
Lori Loud: "Leni, we have all walked in on each [other] changing at some point. Sure it's a little embarrassing, but it's nothing to get too worked up over."
Leni Loud: "He was touching himself."
— Caught
Ensign Dyke Prison Guard and Leering Male Guard are caught with their pants down (literally, as they are masturbating over B'Elanna and Seven's love scene).
— Voyager Chicks Behind Forcefields
