"Feminine Endings" is a short story by Neil Gaiman.In a love letter from a living statue to a woman patron, the narrator describes how they came to fall for the woman, and how they want to declare their true feelings.
Tropes for this short story include:
- Ambiguous Gender: Lampshaded in the text; the narrator as a statue in their native language they are referred to as "she" due to the word "statue" having a feminine ending. Neil has confirmed, however, that the statue identifies as male.
- Chekhov's Skill: The narrator's ability to sit still, and blend in with their environment, during their statue job. They were able to blend in with the woman's apartment surroundings, to watch her while she read their letter.
- Crazy Jealous Guy: The statue, for all his flowery language, is enraged to learn that the woman had sex with someone. It doesn't matter who it was.
- Entitled to Have You: It's revealed the narrator is so "in love" with their patrons that they get angry on learning she had sex with someone else.
- Green-Eyed Monster: The narrator is compelled to write the letter on examining the woman's panties and realizing she slept with someone else.
- No Ending: The story ends right when whoever reads the letter realizes that the woman is alone with the statue, in her room. Neil says that the statue kills the woman.
- Stalker with a Crush: Over the course of the story, the statue reveals that they have hacked into the woman's computer, to read her online journals, emails, and social media. They also have studied the contents of her laundry hamper, and the state of her clothes.
- Surprise Creepy: The love letter begins as sweet, even silly in places, with some humorous moments. Then the letter begins to take a turn for the disturbing, with little things that don't add up, and it becomes frighteningly apparent that the statue is a deranged, misogynist stalker, and the woman is in horrible danger.