Funny / The King Nobody Wanted

• This exchange early in Stannis and Cersei's marriage, given Cersei's past affair with her brother.
  Stannis: He... he is your brother. Your twin. I cannot imagine how close you two must be...
  Cersei: [thinking] Thank goodness.
• When Alester Florent asks Garth Tyrell to be a Character Witness at his trial, Garth deliberately lets out a loud fart.
• There is some Black Comedy in Impoverished Patrician Zor Alexi describing how meaningless his various titles are (eg. being the lord of Silver Hall doesn't mean much when said estate "has been stripped of silver and indeed, of much of the hall").
• Cersei is taken aback at her pregnancy.
  Gods, how did this even happen? It was not as if she and Stannis had been that... amorous, after all. She tried to go over the times in her head to see if she could pinpoint the very one that had put this... thing into her. Let's see... the wedding night, the night after, the night after that...
  She had progressed to several nights after that, and a rather exceptional morning, when a sudden bit of especially fevered tooth-grinding on Stannis' part broke her count.
• Some Black Comedy during the attack on Harrenhal in Catelyn and Lord Manderly awkwardly exchanging formal greetings with a corpse on the floor and Manderly's hands bloody from creating said corpse. Followed by Lord Tully's indignant reaction to his attempted assassination (and brief consternation that Manderly could be mistaken for him).
  These murderous wretches are still at large, and seeking my blood. Well, by the Seven, Hoster Tully's blood is staying where it belongs - in Hoster Tully's veins!
• Tytos describes how his father chose their family name after being ennobled when he found the coat-of-arms of an extinct house named Clegane that showed a man wielding a decidedly Phallic Weapon. Tytos's father adopted the name on the spot, declaring that "a name so bold must endure." Tytos uses a few awkward euphemisms while recounting the story to his free-riders decades later, and they find the whole thing hilarious.
• Rys Chelsted spends his Establishing Character Moment oozing with Gentleman Snarker quips, such as saying that if Stannis doesn't want an Honest Advisor like him and wants a Professional Butt-Kisser instead, then "say the word and I will go find you one. They are about King's Landing in great abundance."
• Cersei assures the uncle of her insipid new lady-in-waiting that the girl brings a lot to her retinue while thinking "In that she makes me long for the days before she joined it." Stannis immediately picks up on the euphemism and thanks her for it afterward.
  Cersei: Perhaps I do enjoy her presence.
  Stannis: I know you don't because I know my cousin.
• Viserys' grand maester reads a report from the front to him, then gets embarrassed and tries to skip over Tytos telling a Viserys loyalist "bugger" himself with his surrender terms, with the young king insisting on hearing the full quote and then being confused by it.
• Gerion takes delight in telling a prostitute whom Tywin mistreated a story about how he beat Tywin at Cyvasse at age six and provoked a childish Rage Quit from his brother.
• Curgen and Luthor Crabb talking to the Thornes about their familial home includes quips like how it got named "Red House" simply due to being made of red bricks and having an unimaginative Crabb do the naming.
• Taena Merryweather's seductive mask comes off.
  Taena: Ahh, dear Orton, I must apologize for so leaving you by yourself...
  Orton: No use keeping up the pretense, Taena. This clever fellow saw right through me, and I'm willing to wager, you as well.
  Taena: [slumps] Oh, bloody hell.
• Cersei begins to consider that Tyrion might not be the valonqar... and realizes in that case, the possibilities are endless.
  By the Gods, the world is awash in younger brothers!
• Chapter 104 begins with Urrigon awkwardly recounting tales about the Extreme Omnisexual nature of the Ironborn deity the Grey King and going into a tale that is both Squick and Black Comedy.
  Urrigon: Some tales say the Sunderlys were born when the Grey King fucked a corpse.
  Theo Wull: A corpse?
  Urrrigon: If you think it sounds bad, remember, I'm supposed to be a descendant of that corpse. [...]
  Theo Wull: Was it… a lady corpse?
  Urrrigon: [bleakly] The stories are conflicted on that fact.