A list of Funny Moments in the roleplay Tamrielic Adventures.
Tamrielic Adventures 1
- At one point when a player stopped posting, it was played off as the character standing still and vacant for several long minutes as Llela and Llevana tried to get him to respond. After he continued to just stare off into the distance, they discussed whether he knew they were there, and proceeded to loot everything off him except his clothes.
- After a long day of adventuring, the newly formed trio of Dark Elves Llela and Llevana along with Nord Per set up camp by the doomstone near Nagastani, and the lleydies went for a wash in the nearby pond. What followed, was a prime example of in-universe Memetic Mutation. In reality Per behaved like a proper gentleman, never peeking. His author, however, included an OOC statement in tiny font size reading "Per was masturbating behind the doomstone". Mars (Llevana) and Eltee (Llela) promptly disregarded the real post and treated the OOC as canon, resulting in their characters exacting revenge onto the Peeping Tom by dousing his head with a foul-smelling substance in his sleep. For something he had never actually done. He accepts it as his just punishment anyway.
- Who am I? I am Cherdenko:
Killing the scamp with ease cherdenko continued into the cave a discover a dead guy smirking to himself cherdenko said better him then me. Cherdenko quickly robbed one of the adventurers while no one was looking. Hey guys screams Cherdenko, i went into a cave and killed a few monsters, did I miss anything. Later in the day cherdenko passed out, he started to dream about things, disturbing things, he dreamed how tasty his friends would be, he dreamed how much he'd like to sink his teeth into them. He yelled, "By the nine divines what's wrong with me!". Cherdenko said with great concern, "Are you sure?" Cherdenko said in confusion, "I'm tripping balls right now". "Sounds good eat some food kill some loan sharks" said cherdenko, walking back and forth "they will pay." he continued. "Good plan" said cherdenko "I don't know why I don't have any of those" he continued. "I know I'll get some sexy women that will cheer garion up"Said cherdenko. Cherdenko Said, "True but we could leave a note" He Wrote a note it said, "dear losers the camp smelled to much of loser so we went to avenge Cherdenko's dead parents, see yea later losers, Cherdenko" He Grinned and said, "Best Note Ever".
- When first making Vol.2, Mars intended to include a detailed recap of the events in the first thread, which meant summarizing about 5500 posts. She gave up on being professional pretty quickly.
Then it starts raining. Everyone gets in their tents. Llesbian sex. Moving on. Ivan is trying to buy some fruit. This took him quite a few pages, so I guess it's important. Elsewhere: "Sam said to Kind-Heart: "Hello, Kind-Heart, I'm Sam." " Exciting stuff. THEN THE THING WE NEVER EVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT CAME BACK. IN OTHER NEWS. Llevana is not a morning person. Yeah, sorry this recap is kinda falling apart. The RP was pretty much a mess until recently. So anyway, Llevana and the gang raided Kemen. Surprise, surprise, no sword there. But they did find some very useless assassins. Llevana and co. murdered them and took their stuff. All kinds of fuck yeah. Oh, and Per got cut up bad because he's a dumbass. So they resurrected one of the corpses and had it carry him. As they were walking out, they were faced with Aythu who was now DUN DUN DUN; a vampire. Big fuckin' surprise. Llevana seems to have some deep dislike for vampires and wanted to roast her right off the bat. Llela, however, intervened and proposed that they find another way. And thus we started the dreaded vampire cure quest. Also, at this point deadknight (Owen) and Vivec's Tears (Tisi) never posted again. We'll say that they got fed up with our bullshit, got married and now have a farm somewhere. As a side-note any characters that don't get mentioned anymore also stopped being updated. I can't be bothered to look up the exact circumstances for each one, so I'm only reporting the ones I remember. Meanwhile Sam and Beorn are doing pointless stuff at camp. Woo.
Tamrielic Adventures 2
- This post, which was an accident and later edited:
- Everyone ignoring Mars' narration describing the Argonian as the only crew member on the ship, to the point that the fourth wall had to be broken.
The Argonian, who the narrator once more feels the need to point out is the only existing crew-member save for the deaf captain, turned around and faced Valentia.
- When the ship finally started to break apart, a 10 was rolled for Sees-in-Shade.note This resulted in the ship rocking in such a way that it flung him into the air and he landed, perfectly unharmed, in the center of the raft. It was described as "absolutely magnificent circumstances, surreal almost" in the narration.
- Grelok tells the group his plan over breakfast:
The Orc cleared a bit of space on the table in front of him. "Here's us, in Skyrim," Grelok said, placing a piece of potato down onto the table. "There are four of 'em here. Then, we have..." Grelok proceeded to place down food items to represent the rest of the provinces; Hammerfell, Blackmarsh, Elsweyr, and Valenwood were blueberries, Cyrodiil was a strawberry, High Rock was an orange, Orsinium a piece of bacon, and the Summerset Isles was Grelok's plate (still laden with food). Morrowind was portrayed by a burnt piece of bacon.
"Hammerfell, Blackmarsh, Elsweyr, and Valenwood have no Threads, so we've no good reason to visit them as of yet." Grelok, devourer of Tamriel, popped the blueberries into his mouth one by one. "Morrowind's Morag Tong territory...they're going to have agents there already, no doubt. Too risky." He gave the piece of bacon a gentle flick away from him. "...I don't like burnt bacon. ...So that leaves us with four provinces to search; Skyrim, Cyrodiil, High Rock, and the Isles. So, I say we finish up in Skyrim...Winterhold, Falkreath, and the Reach." He popped the Skyrim potato into his mouth.
"Cyrodiil, we get those Threads, east-to-west. Cut off the other scryers before they can reach them." He bit into the strawberry below the leaves, and chewed up the Imperial heartland. "We travel to Orsinium and High Rock. Heading there through Skyrim might be quicker, but we might run into Morag Tong. Either way...orange you glad you're going home, Dorian?" With a pleased grin, Grelok rolled High Rock towards Dorian, and popped Orsinium into his mouth.
- Sanguine, the Daedric Prince of debauchery, summarizes childbirth:
"Their origin? Ah...well, you see, when a man and a woman have had enough to drink, they stumble their way home...Nine months later, their lives are over."