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Funny / Rustlers' Rhapsody

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  • Every Western has a scene where The Dragon picks a fight with the hero in the saloon, right?
  • Rather than fight, the two cowboys argue over the Good Cowboy archetype, concluding with:
    Bob: Since we're both good guys, neither of us can draw first. I'll count down from five. Five, four, three—
    Rex: I thought it was just (being) heterosexual.
    Bob: No, it's Confident Heterosexual.
    Rex: Oh ... I didn't know that.
    Bob: [bites his lip] Well, don't worry, I'm just gonna shoot the guns out of your hands.
    Rex: I'd rather you shot me in the heart.
    Bob: You know I can't do that. Five, four —
    Rex: [muttering] Confident...
    Bob: Three, two —
    Rex: Uh, look, Bob, I can't fight you today. M-maybe tomorrow. Or Thursday. Yeah, Thursday'd be good. I'll see you then. [flees the saloon]
    • And the way the townsfolk turn on Rex as he flees in shame. "FREE THINKER!"
  • When Peter downs his shot of "warm gin with a human hair in it":
    Peter: Hey! Where's my hair?!
    Bartender: It's in there.
  • Best use of an Evil Lawyer Joke in film history.


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