Funny / Phoenix Nights

• In the very first episode, Brian (one of Peter Kay's characters) realizes that the band are singing a song with very Unfortunate Implications: invoked
  Brian: See, nothing offensive, nothing blue.
  Journalist: No, just racist.
  [The band launch into the chorus of their song, which goes "send the buggers back"; realization dawns]
  Brian: Get 'em off!
• When Brian turns an outdoor toilet into a childrens' play area, complete with dirty urinals and a climbing frame made out of scaffolding.
  • "Was a condom machine, Jerry, was a condom machine! Now it does penny chews, tenpence apiece!"
• Also, Keith Lard the fire inspector (also played by Peter Kay) - an overzealous Obstructive Bureaucrat whose inappropriate relationships with dogs are an open secret, though he was cleared by the police investigation. During his fire safety seminar, he draws a plan of how the fire exits of the club should be laid out and... see for yourself.
  • Funnier still is that there's apparently a real Bolton fire inspector called Keith Laird and some thought the character was based on the real man. Channel 4 had to put an apology at the end of the episode to clear things up.
• "There is a horse in my cabaret suite!" It proceeds to get drunk by drinking from the beer taps, and mounts the mechanical bull.
• The characters' reactions immediately after the captain dies.
  • "Put him next door." "Why?" "Because in here's murder! Next door's natural causes!"
• And, of course, Sammy Snake.
• And the novelty car alarm which Max (yet another of Peter Kay's characters) programs to shout "get back you bastard, or I'll break your legs!"
• Brian on the phone, discussing venison pies: "How much?... I know it's deer, it's bloody extortionate!... Well, have you got any damaged?"
• The Das Boot fruit machine is funny the first time it appears, in the first episode. It resurfaces at the beginning of the second episode. During the Captain's wake, someone wins the jackpot and it starts playing Deutschland über Alles at full volume complete with a digital voice yelling "Achtung, das Jackpot!" immediately after one of the Captain's friends recounted a war story.

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