Funny / Of Sheep and Battle Chicken

Logical Premise can pull some very hilarious lines.

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Of Sheep & Battle Chicken

And Then There Were None

• If Ahern says something, it probably goes in here. Special mention goes to his reaction when Joker gets into a simulator and outflies every pilot Ahern can throw at him. Ahern's Full Metal Jacket monologue gets more and more intense, culminating in one of the pilots alleging that the simulation was somehow "unfair".

"Unfair? What is fucking unfair is that some of my goddamned hard-earned taxpayer dollars are going into your salaries, and you rejects can't even stop one fucking man from owning all nine of you like a krogan in a goddamned nursery. Get the fuck back in the simulation and kill that arrogant little bastard, or I will shove my feet up both of your asses and wear you around like a pair of autistic flip-flops!"

— Ahern, at the end of his patience

That Which Cannot Die

• The P's Truth segment in Chapter 52 combined this with Refuge in Audacity.
  • Rolan Quarn's explanation for his reasoning that the Butcher isn't an asari? He knows what crazy asari act like, he had sex with Jona Sederis thrice and she only set him on fire once.

The Cerberus Files

• Niftu Cal isn't just a rando Volus in the Premiseverse, he's a highly successful CEO and social medial star (whose handle is The Biotic God, of course), making posts such as: "if Earth First's approval rating dips any lower into the teens, Saracino will try and fuck it"), "Tupari: makes you forget you're really just a sad monkey, Earth-clan", or "I WILL HARNESS THE POWER OF BROWNIAN MOTIONS TO USHER IN A NEW AGE OF DISCOUNTED PRODUCE!". He also claims to be poker buddies with Jack Harper, which Harper later confirms.

STG Files & Reports

• The Running Gag where various agents loath the report template and complain about being unable to modify it.
  • Taken up to eleven in the Maxwell Manswell report, where Ida Solus tries deleting part of the template, and discovers his credentials are overridden by the authority of the SIX and warned any further attempts will lead to being turned into a Shieldbreaker. His response to the STG Master: "It seems you are, in fact, serious. I respect the effort you go to simply to toy with us. Vessi's reaction alone is probably worth it."
    • Said template was the idea of none other than his father.

Lions in Blue and Silver

Bird of Hermes

• The gravity wave that the Big Horni unleashes on Team Kinnix is near-lethal to those it hits, but those who dodge just feel like they got kicked in the nuts.

Ahern's Guide to Things You Shouldn't Be Fighting

Miscellaneous