"Sic semper sceleratus." (Thus always unto criminals)
—Shepard's catchphrase.
"That slotted-plate kirix! The barefaced shxthia lied to me in my -" Shepard's translator gave out completely, as Sparatus exploded into almost ten seconds of the foulest turian curses known. "...that… that… vorcha-fucking TRAITOR!"
—Councilor Sparatus, upon learning that Saren betrayed them.
"You laugh at the law...but you don't laugh at me."
—Garrus as the Archangel, immediately before releasing hundreds of hacked mechs on the criminals of Omega.
"Not enough gun."
—Tetrimus, after yet another failed attempt to kill him.
""At least my tastes don't run towards tall, dark and... spiky."
—Kai Leng to Theo Pellham.
"Goddamm it, Death, even when you take me to third base you fuck up and prematurely ejaculate. I'm done with your ass.
—Shepard, shortly after her revival.
"The guy's last partner got killed by a fucking meteor strike. IN SPACE. What in the Five Oceans did I do to piss you off now?
—Tela Vasir, upon learning she was partnered with Jason Delacor
"There are children in there? Some frothing shatha-hound used the lives of children in this stunt? ... I will need a minute for this. Then we need to kill someone extremely violently, milady matriarch."
—Thanix Palavanus during a terrorist attack on the Citadel.
"Well, anyone else have any more bright fucking ideas?"
—Matriarch Sulesia T'Soni after the Thirty displeased Matriarch Uressa T'Shora
Urdnot Wrex
"I'll eat anything so long as it isn't Turian, you guys taste horrible."
-To Tetriumus
"Okay, okay, don't stab me in the eye!"
—To Tali
"I've never had barbecued human before. Always went for fried."
—Threatening a Cerberus grunt
Tradius Ahern
"It's not all shit. But as long as you keep this... attitude... about assuming that you can beat anything you run into, one of these days you will hit a target that doesn't make stupid mistakes and will become a nice inscription on a tombstone somewhere."
—Tells Shepard how her arrogance will get her killed.
"You have a gun for one reason. TO FUCKING KILL THE ENEMY! You do not waste Christ only knows how many fucking credits and lug around a toddler on your back, for fucking suppression fire! That is why the goddamned fuck we give you marines for!"
—Ripping Shepard's weapon selection part one, her Revenant rifle.
"Shepard, the THUNDERBOLT is a goddamned anti-material rifle. Why in fuck are you toting one around? Is it because you need something to compensate for not having a dick?"
—Ripping Shepard's weapon selection part deux, her choice of sniper rifle.
"I'm officially upgrading you three from 'hopeless' to 'only slightly retarded'. Congratulations. Now , do it again, this time without DYING. There are three of you and I'm fifty six goddamned years old"
—The first time Shepard, Tali, and Liara actually made him think while he kicked their asses.
"I've lost more than most people ever had – but I don't get depressed or whiny or tear up like a shitfaced emo clown, because I am motherfucking Tradius Ahern, the baddest sonofabitch in this entire fucking galaxy. People don't like it, tell 'em the airlock is open for everyone."
—His post-training motivational speech to Shepard.
"The system is written in fucking turian and salarian code! Unless he's a fucking polymath and can code as well as he beats the shit out of you clowns, he has as much chance of hacking the system as you do of ever being fucking promoted again in my command. That is the stupidest fucking thing I have heard all goddamned week. You're so fucking shitbrained that if you fell into a barrel of titties, you would come out sucking your thumb! Get out of my face!"
—When his pilots suggested that Joker had hacked the training system.
"Unfair? What is fucking unfair is that some of my goddamned hard-earned taxpayer dollars are going into your salaries, and you rejects can't even stop one fucking man from owning you nine of you like a krogan in a goddamned nursery. Get the fuck back in the simulation and kill that arrogant little bastard, or I will shove my feet up both your asses and wear you around like a pair of autistic flip-flops!"
—After his pilots followed up the first suggestion by implying that they weren't trained to Joker's level, and that the simulation was unfair.
"...doomed. What kind of fucking idiot taunts Shepard when she clearly ran out of fucks to give a long time ago?"
—The good general seeing footage of Shepard fighting Tetrimus on Ilium.
Uressa T'Shora
"Do not test my patience further, sisters. I have held my tongue so long because I know that sometimes to be kind is to be weak… but that does not mean to be cruel is to be strong. Fix this. Or you shall face chastisement."
—The Matriarch informing the Thirty of her opinions regarding their plans.
"…There is that. But too often we do so by draining the light from elsewhere, and then claiming all is well with the world. Your own words about Aria… remind me of that. ... It does not matter in the end. All that matters is that good stood against darkness, and if that means others disapprove of me, then I will at least be in the good company of others outcast for trying to do the right thing."
—Speaking with Shepard and others about the nature of good and evil.
