- This exchange during Ethan's debrief on the botched rescue mission of Agent Farris.Ethan: Mr. Brassel, it's unacceptable to question Agent Farris's competence...
Brassel: It's unacceptable that chocolate makes you fat, but I've eaten my share and guess what?
- Benji speculates on what "The Rabbit's Foot" is, made all the funnier thanks to Simon Pegg's delivery:Benji: I'm assuming it's a code word for something he's about to sell to an unspecified buyer, for 850 million dollars by the way, or maybe it's not a code word. Maybe it's just a really expensive bunny appendage.
- When Ethan!Davian gets in the Lamborghini with Zhen and Luther opens the pothole below the false console of the car.Ethan!Davian: What's up?
Luther: Nothing, what's up with you?
Ethan!Davian: Nothing. [climbs down into the hole]
- As Ethan escapes IMF HQ, he jams the walkie-talkies by holding down the talk button, disabling Brassel's ability to communicate with security. As Ethan comes out of the cover building, he pins the walkie-talkie next to a radio playing "We Are Family" on his way to freedom. Brassel is in disbelief as the song comes over the walkie-talkies, turning to his partner stating, "You have GOT to be kidding me."
- Benji's disapproval when Ethan calls him for help while Ethan is wanted by the whole CIA.Benji: I'm gonna lose my citizenship for this, you know.
- "Maybe we can share a jail cell, you know? If this all goes tits up, which it will. The location of that number is Shanghai. There, I just told you. Shanghai. I just aided and abetted an enemy of the state. Fantastic. Thank you."
- How Ethan kills Davian at the end. Davian gets run over by a truck... somehow leaving behind only his shoe. A hilarious Anticlimax if there ever was one.
- "Turn the switch on and off. Don't forget the off." Such a serious line delivered so seriously shouldn't be funny, but it is!
- "I'm going to die unless you kill me."
- While instructing Julia how to use a gun, she doesn't realize she's pointing the gun at him.
- "DON'T point at me!!"
- What's Julia's response to Ethan revealing the acronym of the IMF (Impossible Mission Force)?(Laughs) "Shut up!"
Funny / Mission: Impossible III