Funny / Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories

• Toni complains about the house Vincenzo showed him in Home Sweet Home.
  Vincenzo: This is it, Toni! Home sweet home! Beautiful, ain't she?
  Toni: This shithole is supposed to be my home?
  Vincenzo: Oh, I think it's VERY you. Now you're disrespecting old Vincenzo! Now tough guy, get your ass upstairs and go put on some decent clothes! I don't got all day, so move!
• Let Maria die (or kill her yourself) in the mission Shop 'Til You Strop. You'll fail the mission, but it's worth it for the Game Over line:
  Maria's dead! Oh, the humanity!
• Casa's choice of clothing in Snappy Dresser: diapers.
• Salvatore & Maria bickering in Contra-Banned. This line sums it all up:
  Salvatore: Fuck me?! Fuck you! In fact, everyone has!
• A cutscene in The Guns of Leone, right before the fight.
  Sindacco member: Hey, someone dropped a dollar!
  *gets run over by Salvatore's car right after crouching down to pick it up*
• The final cutscene in Bringing The House Down, with literally everything exploding. The best bit is when a blown up car which comes from Fort Staunton falls on top of two students in the neighboring Liberty Campus, killing them, and the other student who was next to them but didn't get hit starting to run away before being crushed by yet another destroyed burning car falling on his head.
• In The Trouble With Triads, Toni arrives at Salvatore's mansion to find him trying to drive his new car with Maria. When Toni returns to the mansion in the same mission, he finds the same car completely wrecked against a tree.
• Toni feels nervous when Salvatore sent him a letter to make him a "made man" in Making Toni because he had witnessed JD's execution, making him think that he will be executed next. It's even more hilarious because Mickey, the person who killed JD, is also present in the ceremony.
• When Toni kills Paulie Sindacco in Dead Reckoning:
  Toni: Ladies and gentlemen, Paulie Sindacco has left the building.
• Donald Love inspecting Avery Carrington's corpse.
  Donald: My God! He's wearing a wig!
• During Donald Love's mission Steering The Vote, here are some of the lines Toni will shout when he passes by a marginal area:
  O'Donovan has three wives!
  Who ate all the pies? O'Donovan!
  O'Donovan is a junkie!
  O'Donovan believes in compulsory buggery!
  O'Donovan's a communist!
  O'Donovan dresses in his daughters' underwear!
  O'Donovan gets naked with hogs!
  O'Donovan hates America!
• Toni confesses about his sins to Ned Burner who pretends to be a priest at a cathedral in The Passion of the Heist, with a hilarious conversation below:
  Toni: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...
  Father Ned: Holy crap Toni, what have you done now?
  Toni: Whoa! Language, Father.
  Father Ned: Oh yeah, Hail Mary full of whatever.
• Occasionally, when an NPC has been killed, a paramedic will say "It's ok, he'll respawn!".
• The fat black and white male pedestrians in Liberty City occassionally say "I got a date with a cheese deluxe!" when they are driving.
• The co-pilot from the police helicopter will say some funny lines when Toni has three-star or more wanted level.
  Your momma ain't gonna save your ass now!
  You know I can't stand heights, Jimmy!
  See me up here? I ain't smiling, tough guy!
  You're a sitting duck, buddy. Quack! QUAAAACK!
  They don't call me bullseye for nothing!